Flying in Indian Skies

(Language and content warning.)

The first time I took a flight, or to be put more appropriately a wailing me was buckled down in the seat, was when I was in the 4th grade. Well, that was the first time I remember it at least.

It was Gulf Air, with pretty air hostesses in golden scarves who handed out toys to kids and took some of them along to the cockpit to meet the captain. This was of course before Laden and his cronies decided to fuck up everything and the chances of me ever getting to accomplish my wishes in this lifetime. (No, Not meeting the captain, the toys.)

Toys are now called collectibles when adults buy them. FYI. 

Who Should you vote for?

Before we go ahead in this post, I would like to make it clear that I had actually written a very elaborate, serious post on what I "really" think of our political options in the current scenario. The result was that none of my views could be substantiated without an absurd amount of research, to which I was not enthusiastically inclined. I also realized that it would be literally impossible for me to hold my ground against any "tard" (Please add political party as required) because I had written about all our political parties. Which made me prime fodder for social media annihilation.

Also Arm Chair Activism Rocks.

Boracay - The South East Asia Trip Part 5 Finale

Read Part 1 - Malaysia

Read Part 2 - Langkawi
Read Part 3 - Singapore

Read Part 4 - Philippines 

Borocay. The most beautiful piece of earth I have ever seen. Beige Sands, crystal clear water tinted blue and green like the sky, and such a lovely nightlife. It was not once that I contemplated buying a sail boat and settling down here, even if I had to become Madan Kumar MBA, Nariyal Pani Wala.

I can't stop gushing about this place. We stayed at a beautiful cottage right on the beach, come to think of it everything is either on the beach or not in Boracay. You will find all kind of people here, from the mainland as well as lots of tourists.

The Sky and water is JUST SO BLUE

One of the best things you can do is just walk around the pristine sand. They do not allow any food or drink on to the sands, and any one, usually locals will stop you from going on to the beach if they see you carrying something on to the sand. Apart from the view of natural beauty, you have lots of other activities like boating, scuba dyving, snorkeling, bid watching *wink wink* and the likes. The nights light up with all the pubs, bars and shows coming on to entertain. Each and every bar is different, some play live music on the sands, there are fire dances and drum solos, shopping of knick knacks and live food. (Check instagram on @2emkay) Getting a back massage in the sun is something you will never regret ever, especially if there's a cocktail near by and a cool breeze.

But enough about that boring stuff. Lets get right to the exciting part.

Fire show at the beach 

We decided to go snorkeling because we didn't have enough time for a full course of Scuba. Also my "Friend" almost lied his way to a dive, till the moment the instructor told us about impending death if we don't wait for a full 18 hours before catching a flight. (Nitrogen gets into your veins and it explodes and shit). So we merry 4 caught up with a friends, friends group to snorkel around the seas. 

It was beautiful, and as we dived into the water, I must say it was like swimming in a 360 degree aquarium. The oarsman basically throws bread crumbs and you see all these colorful little fish swim right up to your nose and its just mesmerizing. We then moved to an island for some rests and general buffoonery, before we headed back.

Now it was quite dark by the time we could see the shore lights, which was still a good 500 meters away when the boat suddenly stopped. Apparently, the tide was too low for the boat to go any further. We just ignored the guy like we ignore traffic signals in India. After 5 min of silence, it suddenly sunk in.

WE HAD TO WALK BACK TO THE FREAKING SHORE.

I watch discovery channel a lot, and my memory at these occasions quickly recalls venomous snakes, paralyzing Jellyfish, puffed up fish, etc. Not to mention pit holes, currents and clothing more appropriate for a bath, rather than adventure sports of this kind.

Slowly one by one, we got into the water, waist high. Putting all our gadgetry into plastic bags held high across our heads, and holding hands as we moved in single formation s-l-o-w-l-y across dark, murky waters. As we did so, we took a solemn vow to not take photographs, lest some evil sea creature attack us.

(Also wanted to avoid the utter embarrassment of 12, 29 somethings walking holding hands for dear life)

We tumbled, yelled, screamed (You'd be surprised at the squeals of some of these "stud" type guys have. PS - ladies, do a voice test before you get hitched) I got pricked twice by something on the super fine sea bed, because being taller meant being leaned on for support. 

FINALLY, we made it to the beach. Alive. In the process, we had a few injured people, 3 lost slippers (BC was losing the second pair in 2 days) and hurt pride. 

The Shooter menu for the 15 rounds

But this was not the end. Later in the evening we went to this place called Cocomangas, Shooter bar. For every round of 15 shots that you have, your country gets a point on the huge Score board. We had three rounds, and I don't remember a lot of the rest of the night.

Ok I Do, but am not telling you. *Insert sly smile*

Just note that we added 3 points to team India, holding up the pride of our Nation, as compared to certain people in the USA doing all hira kiri with maids and stuff. 

They Played Hindi numbers, we did the world famous in India train dance sequence and manged to hop out to another bar where some English douche was playing weird music. The rest of the night, without much detail as below.

- Fight breaks out

- Music stops, Spot light on fighters

- Fighters turn out to be 2 from our extended group (WTF?!!!)

- The opposition is a foreigner (Imagine Andre the giant)

- There are bouncers now

- Guys fall over a table

- Random female almost clobbers a guy with a bottle for spilling her drink from aforementioned table

- I don't think the guy knows

- Wait, someone punched the bouncer

- SHIT THERE ARE COPS NOW, HIDE. 

- People are being arrested and cuffed, I hear references to Sisters / Mothers in Hindi

- WTF is number 2 doing joking with the Foreigners friends?!!

- Sanity check - where are all core members. 1, 2 ,3....wait wheres 4?!!

- Panic for number 4. Number 3 confirms number 4 is with him

- All Clear

- Music is back on. Everyone's dancing.

- UPA is still in power in Delhi What the hell just happened?!!

I manage to reach home with number 2. What he said, in 7.1 Dolby Digital sound to the population of Boracay, Americans, Indians, Dogs, Random Rickshaw puller, Motorbike rider, Bar staff and the Universe is now between his conscience and them. I cannot say anymore. Time 4.30 am. I had been awake, dancing, a little tipsy (You have to believe me here, I was strangely sober) for about 28 hours now. My Camera was the only thing in my hand functioning normally. (Except for the dead battery)

The next day I fell sick. We were back in India in 3 days.

And that my friends, was the conclusion of our epic trip. From getting stranded at the airport to walking crazy distances, barging our way through to an airplane seat 9 hours after departure time, Racist slurs at a Casino to being held at Immigration, to the epic events in Boracay.

It was LEGEN *Wait for it* DARY!!!!

I also learned that no time is as good a time as now. You know those friends you have? Hold them close. It's hard to start from scratch, and a little here and there is fine in the long run. 

And remember kids, YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE!!!! 

Cheers

M

Philippines - The South East Asia Trip Part 4

Read Part 1 - Malaysia

Read Part 2 - Langkawi
Read Part 3 - Singapore


The last part of Trip consisted of landing in Philippines and moving around to different islands, catching the awesome night life and enjoying cheap luxuries.Philippines is seriously quite cheap. But as usual when things can go wrong, they will always go wrong exponentially.

So let me admit my mistake, starting off with basic Geography 101.

Next, Philippines is always at the center point of typhoons, so it would be wise to not go there in the monsoons, unless you really hate yourself or are taking your Ex there on a one way ticket. (Presuming you are coming back) We went there because we probably hated each other.

Anyways, we too were unfortunate enough to catch the rains, and a large part of our trip got busted, including a trip to Coron islands (which got substituted by a one night day complimentary stay at the 0 starr airport) and a dormant Volcano. (Sigh, I know) We missed a freaking Volcano. (Point to note, I and BC were the only two standing on two feet at the point of departure to this venue)

Anyway, the most exciting part of this whole trip is when we were detained at immigration.

----

*Dark Room with lighting only on partial face. Unknown identity asks a a question.*

"I Thought it was easy money. All we had to do was carry a suitcase of drugs across the border, and we would be millionaires. They promised it would all be good. It was supposed to all taken care of. But when they get you, you're all alone"

Locked Up Abroad on National Geographic Channel

---

My mind, dear friends, is a virtual time bomb of thoughts. At any given point of time, I am riding on a sleigh fighting dementors, or could be romancing a noble lady on a stage in Paris. So when I came to know that the airport we were landing at, was a well known hub for all these kind of TV shows, well, all these episodes and dialogues come rushing...

The airport we were landing at, NAIA is rated the worst airport in the world (FYI, Kolkata, Chennai, Mumbai are in the Top 10 worst airports as well). It is also one of the most busiest airports in Asia. T3, the latest terminal is meant only for international flights, so if you land at another terminal from an international flight. Well, God Bless you.

Anyways, we landed at the right airport and were aiming to get Visa on Arrival as we had Singapore Visa's. Let me reiterate, that this is a known hub for drug smuggling and shit, so the officials are always looking for shady characters. And when it comes to shady, no one can beat my 2, eager to please, never traveled abroad alone, half groggy unshaven spectacle wearing Indian friends.

All we had to do was walk to the counter, show them the passport and visa, and the air ticket, and move.

But NO. My dear friends HAD to do some "Khujli". They HAVE to ask the most sternest looking cop some imbecile like questions.

"Sir we don't have Visa" will probably go down as the worst thing ever said to a customs official by a tourist in a foreign airport known for smuggling.

We submitted all our documents to three cops, before a senior cop with 3 stars on her uniform (and looked very much like Farida Jalal ) took us to an inside room. We sat down on comy Sofa's while they kept asking us questions.

Cop 1 to me - What's your name?
Me - Madan

Cop 1 to me - Where are you from?
Me - Bangalore

Cop 2 to BC - Who is he? *points to me*
BC - Madan

Cop 3 to Cop 2 : Sounds like *snicker snicker ha ha gibberish gibberish*
Cop 2 to me : How do you know him? *point to BC*
Me - We are friends

Cop 2 to Me : Who are you?
Me - Madan

All the Cops - "Hmm..."

After 5 minutes

Cop 3 to me - Who are you?
Me - Sigh. Madan

Eventually, after all possible combinations and permutations of who asked whom were done, the grilling was over. I got off because I had a huge Multinational backing my employment, while the other two jokers were employed by a company who had a billboard right in front of the cops, and the cops had never heard of the company. #Facepalm

Finally, we come to know that our return tickets have been cancelled, because the government cancelled the license of the Airlines 2 days ago. #PANIC. Our host meanwhile was pretty sure we were arrested or something because we were 3 hours late, and was all set to call emergency services.

After another good hour more we were let go. And this is picture best explains relief that we felt at that point of time.

Manila is very much like a Mumbai. The only difference is that people here look different and eat different. The Americans have basically changed the whole country during the wars and occupations into a "entertainment" destination for their soldiers based there, so you will see a lot of American influence in the culture. The girls want to marry Americans, the guys want to go to America accept that America doesn't see this place as anything more than a speck.

Its like the famous historian and inter racial cultural expert Russel Peters once said "BESHT Bro, IT IS BESHT. AMERICAN BRO, BESHT"

This has already gone for too long, So I will write one more post on Borocay (Where we swam across the OCEAN in the dead of NIGHT to reach shore) before I conclude the series. Am also planning to put together a Pinterest board of all the stops we made, that might be of interest to you guys.

So here's to then, Merry Christmas.


M

Singapore - The South East Asia Trip part 3

(At this point there can be no excuse for not writing this part of the trip, a good three months after it happened. So I'll ignore verbal abuses and move on like nothing ever happened, or as it's happening in Delhi these days - send you an SMS for your opinion later)

Read Part 1 - Malaysia

Read Part 2 - Langkawi 

Now the third leg of our journey was to the magical city of Singapore. Magical because for some reason, I had made the connection that Mickey Mouse was born here. I know, its ridiculous. We all know that a mouse that big can only be born in Chennai.

We had the good fortune of having a few juniors of BC (yes its a name) in Singapore, which made us more comfortable. Except for the part where my learned friend couldn't figure out how to use a pay phone, a credit card, a travel card, an English speaking Human being and a phone number, to reach his junior waiting outside the airport. Changi Airport is like UB city mall (Bangalore) multiplied by Phoenix mall (Mumbai) with a few airplanes thrown in for free. It is freaking Amazing. I mean I could have roamed the airport for a few days and still returned happy.

You remember the Manforce condom ads? The bill boards and vinyls of the perfumes & Cosmetics here will put Sunny Leone to shame. But in a nice way.

We were hungry so we decided to grab some food at Burger king (Hoooray!!!) since we were hungry, and that is when we realized Singapore is expensive. No kidding. 4 of us and the bill was 42 SGD, which is like 5000 bucks. 

In Singapore, you will be surprised to see that Tamil is the second language after English. I have no idea they pulled this off, and am pretty sure the Malayalis are pissed. So now you know why Rajnikanth's third largest Fan base after the Aliens, and Tamil Nadu is in Singapore. 

And here's a good warning. Am not sure, but I think its compulsory for women to wear shorts, and that too no longer than 6 inches, so guys please. No Staring. You have the Google Incognito mode for that. But on a serious note, they do dress very very well both professionally / casually so its a kind of a learning in trends. If you are into that kind of stuff. 

We stayed at Little India, which is basically a small section of Singapore where most of the "Asians" live. The Taxi guys hate it, the citizens hate it, almost everyone hates it. Am not being over sensitive. In a city which has banned chewing gum to keep the city clean, I saw Indian people peeing on the roads, at which point I promptly started conversing in French. #TrueStory

Me an Po Sharing a laugh at these other
mortal humans at Universal

Anywhoos, we got a decent hotel in this place, and trust me if you are on a budget, this is the only area where you can manage to be on a budget. On the itinerary was Universal Studios, The Singapore flyer, Marina Bay Sands hotel & Casino, Sentosa Islands and this cool underwater sea place (which we got confused with in Sentosa and missed) All travel is via metro, which is extremely convenient.

Am not going to write much about Sentosa Islands, its basically a large park which houses different sections, one of which is the Universal Studios. Universal Studios was my first time to a theme park, with rides and stuff. I was very apprehensive about it. As a kid the only ride I went on was the merry-go-round, and that too holding on to the pole for dear life. 

You keep fish in between your fingers, and she
swoops up your arm and sucks it off. Amazing

But man, these rides were totally awesome!!! The Merchandise even better!!! Highly recommended rides - the Mummy and Transformers. And here's the trick. If you go as a group, you need to wait in a huge line. But if you go in the single line you can go all the way to the front and they will accommodate you in any seat / trailer. Debi went 10 times to the Mummy ride, and by the 11th time they offered him a job and a hat. He declined because the Transformer guys offered him food instead. 

I however was more enamored by the park itself and the detailing. And the merchandise. It isn't worth the price, but please buy it if you love it. And another trick - carry Master card. They have awesome offers on Master card. Not so much on Visa.

We were back by the End of Day and were exhausted. The next day we went to another part of Sentosa, which was the water world. My highlight of the Singapore trip was this - I fed and touched a 8 foot Stingray!!! I love animals. And I also hate humans who can't take a decent photograph (all the numb skulls who traveled with me) 

The View from the Singapore Flyer - Marina Bay Sands Hotel
and the Bay area

Apart from that, we caught the Singapore Flyer, one of the largest in the world. The view from the top is amazing, and I highly recommend that you go at night to catch the lights. 

We also took a long walk around the beautiful Marina Bay, caught the lovely laser show that is done from the top of the hotel on to the water fountains below (check my You Tube channel for the video) and met Mommy and junior Merlion. (Papa Merlion for some reason is at Sentosa) There's also this huge Uber rich looking mall with all the brands that you can think off, including Ferrari cars and Ducati. The restaurants lining the bay look so good and luxurious, that I felt quite intimidated by the mere thought of trying one of them. (Remember Burger king story?)

With Jr. and Mummy (Back)
 Merlion

I have now forgotten all the fantastic comic opportunities and stories, but I must tell you this. We were at Singapore for 2 nights, and we made the absolute Maximum of the time. It was by far the most expensive part of the whole trip, so I suggest you plan appropriately. 

I've promised myself that I will finish the series this year. 2 more posts to go!!!

M

Lounging in Langkawi - The South East Asia Trip Part 2

Read the first part here

Langkawi to me was always the place people go on their honey moon, rekindle the love, girl gang hang outs etc type places. So naturally I'd think it would be very beautiful, very silent and very private. With top class resorts and honestly, expensive.

On the contrary, Langkawi is one of the most coolest places anyone can go to. And if you want to just put your feet up and chill, this is the place. If you want to have some fun and adventure, this is the place. And if you want to go on a crazy night of fun, this is still the place.

So we landed in Langkawi coming from KL, the first morning flight. As you land in the airport you have a host of options for travel and stay. But tucked away in the corner is a car rental service. Trust me, this is what you have to take. The best car we could get was a Mitsubishi SUV, Automatic. At 350 RM (Around 7000 bucks) for three days this was a steal. And the car was absolutely top class. Drowsy and being the only sane one in the team, I was initially acting like a Marwadi business man.

"Lets just get something that moves, why do you need to spend so much?!!"

Of course, you must also note that my friends are maniacs. DB and BC, the guys who I am not going to name, will probably rent an airplane if they were asked to by a guy who called them "Sir". Typical Politeness depraved souls that they were.

But sense prevailed, and we settled the matter like adults - whoever had the loudest voice won.

For the first 20 kilometers, my sophisticated friends (with driving license and experience) had no idea how to use the gears. As a result we traveled on first gear, while cars, cycles and cows waved at us as they overtook our sorry arses. It finally took a man of sound logic, a guy who obviously was meant for great things, to tell them how to use the gear.

"Hey this + button looks interesting" *Insert great thunderous applause here*

Our Rooms were awesome. We stayed at "Tropical Resorts" which is basically a set of cottages, about 15 meters from the beach. At the time of booking, we didn't know this part. But then it was really cool and very convenient. Because by default, we were staying at the most happening locale in Langkawi (Of course we came to know about this only towards the end of the trip)

In Langkawi, we did the following

1. Took lots of fun drives.

Attitude issues

2. Went to the Underwater world, a really cool aquarium and bird park. It also has a macaw that has an
attitude problem that someone should look into. They also have a python that will not eat you as you try to act all brave and pose with it. Also don't forget to meet the seal that swims in perfect loops for eternity. seriously, the guy just doesn't stop.

3. Took more fun drives

I love these birds

4. Went island hopping - We were taken to the first island, which has this amazing lake in the center of it called the lake of pregnant maidens (Top on the Planning-A-Family-Must-Go-To-Locations) *wink wink*. This place is just amazing, because its so beautiful, so peaceful and also because you can swim in this huge lake. The next spot they take you to is a an area where there are lot of eagles. It's basically eagle feeding and they are just so beautifully majestic. I must have clicked a 100 photos in burst mode. Only to get maybe 2 photos of the eagles tail feathers. Bah. The third island is a beautiful, white sand beach where you can swim and do the normal stuff. (In this case pose for selfies of aforementioned people I shall not name)

Laksa

 5. Took 4 circles of  a location called Kuah (Irony, sounds like a "well" in Hindi) because my driver and co-driver are extremely talented in going around in circles. We also tried the staple dish of the place called Laksa, which is basically sour fish soup with noodles and chicken and egg and some other stuff. (Of course I just came to know what it was thanks to Wikipedia. On the day we put up brave faces and mumbled appreciation as we gobbled the incredibly awkward smelling and tasting dish, grudgingly, down)

6. We went to the Marina to take lots of pictures of us with the very beautiful Langkawi + Eagle Statue. And also the other stuff around.

I wasn't scared at all. Honest.

7. Went to the Langkawi Cable Car. Which is also the location of the Langkawi Sky Bridge. Unfortunately the bridge was closed. The Cable car basically takes you to a middle station (600+ meters) and from where you will change cars to ascend a further 100 mts to the top station where you have 2 viewing stations. From this point, you can touch the clouds and have the most magnificent 360 degree view. Its also a great place to push off 2 friends who will engage in, yes, you guessed it - MORE SELF STYLED PHOTOGRAPHS.

7. Shopping and Food. We couldn't really do a lot because we were dead tired, but we did manage to get Souvenirs and stuff, while also visiting the local streets and shops. We were also lucky to view some neat Modified cars revving it up at the mall. Check the pics.

Finally, we reached our hotel and were chilling out when we remembered that we had to clear our hotel bill and leave by 5 in the morning. It was already 1 am, and the resort reception did not open till 10 am. Being the most sensible one, I came with an ingenious plan. As in the image below.

The Ingenious plan revolved around slipping this envelope with the money under the door of the reception, and hoping that the right person would get it. Also praying that we were not caught at the airport for attempted cheating. We mumbled around the reception, and tried a few knocks, and were about to make a run for it when, Tadaaaaah!!! the owner of the place comes out. A few Sob stories later (apparently my relatives were sick, BC's flight got cancelled, and DB did not know we had an emergency) we were out and cruising to the airport, readying ourselves for the next part of our trip.

In Singapore, we meet "THE MUMMY",  witness a mad bar argument on the streets, meet the Merlions, before one of us has a very very Bad night at the casino.

Malaysia Ahoy!!! - The South East Asia Trip Part 1

This year I was able to keep up a promise to myself to travel ever year to some place new and different. As much as I tried to present an international image by checking into foreign locales on Free WiFi, there's so much that happened, so many experiences, that I feel the need to document it. In case someone wants to make a movie on me or something. (Hey you never know)

Theres a lot of stuff, but I'll try to keep it as interesting and amusing as possible, which basically means I'll talk all about the shit the other three do. (Imma Good Boy)

Mandatory self Identification photo before trip

As a disclaimer, and to protect the identity of Debi, Bc and Vc I will refrain from naming the guys who came with me on this trip of *Beep* *Beep* *Beep* and all the food, sightseeing and entertainment.

I will also for the first time be able to put up videos of the trip, and that will be through my YouTube Channel which I will name shortly.

We started our trip from Bangalore where we flew to Kuala Lumpur, and then from there to Langkawi. This was followed by a 3 day jump to Singapore, and then to the Philippines where we went to Manila and Borocay.  Coron islands was also on the list, but typhoons made sure that our trip was cancelled. 

Through our the trip we've had miserable situations and brilliant come backs, and you won't believe me if I said we got detained in Immigration, walked in the middle of the ocean, got into Bar fights and more. And still got back safely, except for a little fever I caught due to exhaustion. 

So on departure from Bangalore, one of us was a first time traveler to foreign lands. This is the same guy who was considered as a beacon of good luck for anyone who wanted to travel abroad. Every person who has stayed with him (including me) has been posted "on site" (Software Engineering terms for getting posted in USA with normal Dollar salary but when it is converted to rupee I become rich and can buy a flat in Bangalore) or traveled abroad. 

He was as excited as a smoked up monkey in a room full of ripe bananas, and as soon as we boarded the plane I heard stuff like "Oh my God, look!!! More Humans" and "We are going out of the country!!! Do they know yet?" and of course "Shit, I've arrived in life". Of Course Debi, the veteran Package tour travel specialist was busy snoring so loud that the pilot had to check if everything was alright with the engines. And I was busy making up these jokes for the blog, so you know who's left right? 

It was a difficult flight majorly be cause the seats were uncomfortable. That's what happens when you put a XXL ass into a Economy seat. But enough about those guys. We slept and awoke and slept and awoke before I finally got some shut eye. 

I was rudely awoken to "OH MY GOD, Kuala Lumpur has lights!!!" and "Look at the runway, its better than our roads in Sarjapur" etc. just as we touched down in the LCC Terminal in Kuala Lumpur.

There are two things you should know about the KL Airport. For all you "Foreign country is amajing" this airport requires you to walk all the way to the terminal from the airplane. There are no Air conditioned buses awaiting to ferry your merry ass to the terminal. Also there must be some 160 odd spots for planes to land, so that basically meant I could watch HIMMATWALA and recover by the time I reached the Terminal.

Just a few of the Air Asia Jetliners

The other thing about LCC KL airport, is that its isn't an airport. Its actually the Air Asia Exhibition center. For miles and miles across all you will see, are Air Asia Planes. Trust me, every thing that flies there has an Air Asia tag. And pretty sure half the country works for them. Not that am complaining with all the air hostesses around. 

Anyways, once we were in we decided to hit the streets and visit the Petronas towers. You know, those twin towers that were once the tallest towers before Burj Al Arab came into being and Al-Halal-ed every other building on Planet Earth. Now the tricky part was we had 5 hours in which to reach this place and come back. 

So we took a convenient Bus (Air conditioned and with recliner seats) for the one hour journey to KL Central. From there we took a taxi (around 15 minutes) to the Petronas towers. It was closed, but we did get into the compound. 

The twins were just beautiful. You don't really get a sense of the size and how magnificent and powerful these structures really are, until you get your nose right up to it and look up. Just, Freaking Amazing. 

I was so caught up that I just didn't really make the max of my camera. Also, there were these huge flood lights right bang at eye level, so no matter how I tried I just kept getting this huge glare at the bottom of my screen. 

But trust me, It definitely looks far better at night than in the morning. The splendor of a fully lit Petronas must be something really worth taking in. Unfortunately for us, it wasn't one of those days.

Its moments like these that I want to abandon people

After a few...err...okay a lot of  "Me with Petronas, Me with Malaysia sign board" etc type photos, we decided to head back. On the way we made a quick detour to visit the National Mosque of Malaysia. It was beautiful but we didn't get any decent picture that would be worthy of its grandeur.

Also we were worried of missing our next flight to Langkawi.

Once back at the airport, we had to get used to the different ways the airport operates. Here you need to check in on the machines, and then go to the counters to drop off luggage, and then wait in the expansive lounge before walking across miles and miles to reach the airplane.

One thing which caught us off guard was the women cops at the security check. And they do check men as well. And they yell. LOUDLY. So we didn't know that "Belts" were also to be taken off before running under the scanner. So I had this lady cop YELL at me to take off my belt and come back. It wasn't a very "Shades of Grey" type scenario that I'd have fond memories of either. Lets just leave it at that.

In the next post, expect more of how we took Langkawi by storm, had Laksa, and almost ran away in the middle of the morning from our Hotel.

Cheers 

M

I woke up today

Today

I woke up today in what felt like...well I don't even know what it feels like. They say I've been gone for 15 years. Lost, Sleeping, in a void, call it what you may, but I opened my eyes to a different world. Strange, distant and empty.

I saw my fiance, I think her name was Grace when I vanished, smile and tell me how great it is to have me back. I could see she'd brought some kids with her to see me and they were running around the white tiled floor, making squeaking noises as they tumbled along. Must be around 8 or 9 years, but kids keep growing faster every generation, so I wouldn't be sure. They look at lot like her and someone else, and nothing like me. Perhaps they are her children, am too scared to ask.

I can hear the monitors go beep beep, every third second, reminding me of my position at the moment. The Nurse showed me a list of people who visited me over the time, but I think I hardly remember or recognize the thinning line of people in the recent times. The last name looks like mom though. I wonder how she is, where she is. I hope she is.

I don't see any flowers or balloons that you'd expect visitors to leave when someone came back. That's what they used to show us in the movies. I wonder if they show the same stories in movies these days. Or if they even have movies these days. I wish I could see a movie right now, would be nice. They have this giant screen in the room across mine, but my doctor said they had removed all the stuff from my room because it wasn't being paid for and it wouldn't matter since I wasn't awake anyway. I don't know what he means by not awake, but I dare not ask questions, the answers to which might lead to painful memories.

The room doesn't have windows any more, my nurse keeps telling me new things every day. She says the atmosphere is too harsh to have windows anymore, and people have to walk around in suits and masks, or specially made vehicles that allow these things. It's dangerous, she says, to my poor health. I look at my skin which is almost a dull blue now. I wonder how old I am. I wonder how I look. Do I still have a job? What happened to my Dog? Do my best friends miss me? Did someone try to kill me? Is my Facebook account still active? Is the sky still blue? Are tigers extinct? Do people still go to church on Sundays?

I have so many questions. My mind just won't stop. But no one's come to see me yet. I think they don't know yet, at least I'd like to think so. Maybe am in a very far off place that makes it difficult for people to come visit. Or perhaps I did something bad that got me here and people hate me. I can't remember much from the past. But I do have some pictures run through my head now and then, of times that were good and fun. I just watch them float by in my head like white fluffy clouds on a bright summer day.

They've got all sorts of things attached to my head. I fall asleep often, I can't stay up for more than an hour, it feels like an hour almost, now. The only thing am sure of is what the code on my wrist.

It says #23437M Dec 17th, 2029.

Do you have a choice?

Ever since I gathered my thoughts, I've been a supporter of choice, of having that option in every sphere of life. But only recently has that brought on a new meaning.

We all hate taking tough decisions, which of course is a choice you make. I myself have begun to see that am going to have make a few choices that would effect a lot of my future soon, and I realise that it isn't actually in the future as much as it is right now, the only thing pushing the choice into the future being - me.  And this procrastination has made me very unhappy.

By choosing one thing, you actually un choose a whole lot of other options, ones you perhaps didn't even know existed. Choices you didn't even worry about because you never knew they were there. Which is profound in a way.

     

Then again if you choose not to make a choice, you just stay there, stagnate and die. So making a choice is not just about right and wrong, it's actually about survival.

If you need to survive, you HAVE to make a choice. There is no way you can choose not to. In fact everything you do is a choice. To think otherwise would be foolish.

You can never measure the outcome of the choices you left, at best making guesstimates of how it might have been. But then again even the choice you make in your favour rarely turns out like we expect them, do they?

I remember a debate sometime back where people said do innocents who die in a terrorist attack choose to be there? Well they chose to be in that spot, and the terrorist attack was something they didn't know about. And isn't that a lot like most of our situations, where the future cannot be predicted with certainty? Of course perhaps not so extreme a circumstance, but unknown nonetheless?

Again am not talking about bad or good choices. Like if you choose to jump off a cliff, there is a high risk that you will die. That's like pretty sure thing. It's a bad choice if your trying to fly, a good choice if you want to die a painful death. But that's not what am writing about. Am trying to focus more on the other daily life, work life, relationship life choices we make.

I guess in totality, we spend more time analysing things we choose but the energy is hardly equal to the results we actually get. Hence speed is of essence, make that choice, make that decision and move.

That being said, the question arises - why should we think about choosing at all? What's the point? Well the point would be that if you didn't think about it at all, your technically putting your survival at the hands of luck, a decision which your rational brain will not allow you to make. A human brain is designed to survive, not to think. And as being rational, it will force you, at some level to somehow  make that choice which had even the slightest advantage of survival than not.

Choices are also blurred by emotions, which perhaps is a close second to rationale in the brain. Make no mistake that to your brain, survival is always primary.

So how do you make the right choice? The perfect solution?

The answer is you can't. You may think it is, perhaps it even might be, but you'll never know.

And therefore coming to my philosophy - at any given time and situation, you have already made the best choice you could have, and there's nothing you can do about that particular choice once its in the past.

Cheers
M

People and Mannequins

It's been a long time, this time around. Apart from my vast life changing experiences with a large number of random auto rickshaw drivers, and of late, marathi-spewing-change-demanding bus conductors, I don't see anything that has drastically made a dent in my parallel conscious. Until Now.

Part of my job includes meeting different people to understand why they do what they do (vague enough to avoid complications) any way, sometimes conversations get a tad too personal and you can't just walk out of there. You just nod and listen and mumble something, or your stomach does it for you. But Not me.

I have this weird "keeda" of putting my nose in other peoples problems and issues. It's like this non retractable poking mechanism, that once poked doesn't come out unharmed. So you start telling me your sob stories, and I'll make you wanna say more. I'll just listen and listen and listen, and your every being will want to say more till your all dried out. Let's just say I am blessed with those special facial features, like Oprah's eyebrows.

Did I mention butterflies? Yes, my attention span that is. So sometimes midst all these chaotic things, I zone out in to a different world. A world of what if's and why's. What if I had not left Bahrain? What if I had kept in touch with all my cool childhood friends? What if Obama was White?

In one such recent instance, I was browsing through Facebook after ages, stalking good looking people and old friends (not connected) when I saw marriage wishes, and travel schedules and photos, and private jokes. Liked by 30 people of whom 20 I know, yet I couldn't really say I knew them. I so wanted to, but it was just not possible. It was in the past.

Have you ever been one of those kids in school - when everyone's talking in a group and you're the one who enthusiastically nods your head in all directions but have no clue whats really happening? Or the kids who joins a gang of cool people to play a prank and ends being caught but having no clue in reality?

Funny how things end up. One person gets displaced as if its required and then you just sit there and wait. Much like our Advani ji. Poor fellow.

Twitter has been a buzz with all kinds of outrage. I mean what else does Twitter do anyway. I mean you either outrage or hit on people. And then in other news iOS7 came out, which was cool. Finally they do something that everyone has already done and pretend that no one knows about it.

One of India's most popular Mannequins

I also don't get this Arnab Goswami's perpetual problem with everything. He has to, and I mean absolutely has to pick on someone every day or he just can't sleep. I hope he doesn't do this in real life too. Could you imagine Arnab getting all riled up at a mannequin in women's undergarments? In Shoppers Stop?



"THE NATION NEEDS TO KNOW, WHY IS THIS MANNEQUIN WEARING UNDERGARMENTS? WHO IS BEHIND THIS SCHEME? WHAT IS THE GOVERNMENT HIDING? TONIGHT ON THE NEWSHOUR..." and then he'd call in his expert panel of 3 play schoolers,  a blind cat, a washing machine and a sock. And never let them speak.

Sigh. This post is just so random. I need to get off twitter. Am almost beginning to feel disturbed at these facebookiyas.

Laters
M

Is this the phone 6 ?

Recently Samsung launched its eye-blink-scroll technique Samsung S4. I would have rather blinked my eyes for better benefits, but no ones listening. While you would have already seen the Phone 5 these phones don't really have something that will blow your mind. I mean big camera, lost of pixels, some fancy eye scroll thingy, thin design, the usual. That's what every one does.

But let me know introduce to you the most awesomest technology masterpiece ever. I have a friend who has a friend who's aunt's cousins sister-in-laws third brother's grandfathers daughters veterinarian has a guy who (once cleaned his car) knows this truck driver that happened to park in front of the Appl Store and overheard something about Eye 6. So this is totally reliable proof of the existence of this device. (By Chinese standards)

Now that we have the reliability of this information out of the way let me give you a quick peep into the features of this beauty, code named Project BJ

Measuring a mere 7.6 mm thick (About 3 cupboards smaller than the first telephone) this device has a Retina Display that is about 2000 pixels per inch. Your photos will never look so much brighter, the micro scars from the black head you squeezed out a month ago ever so clear again. Also included is the Large Screen that measures 4 inches but it looks like 10 inches when held next to a mirror. There is an inbuilt app that enables you to mirror the image in the mirror, so your screen is actually infinitely large. So it depends on how big your mirror actually is. (You can also choose to buy the iMirror at the online store)

The Processor is a 1.7 Ghz dual core processor that is super fast. Playing Temple Run (Part 21) and Angry Birds - Part 7-but-still-throwing-birds-at-pigswill never be the same.  It comes with the latest 6G LTE built in, so you can experience internet like never before (Actually it never will be like before as we always ensure that we have technology thats better and faster than your country carrier can ever provide you, and when they do, we'd already be on 27G or something. Awesome, no?)

On the back of the iPhone we have an AMAZING 12 mega pixel Camera Holder for our awesome iCamera (sold separately). We believe that you need a truly amazing camera experience, and we have created a unique device that can beat even the best DSLR's in the market. (Head over to our store now!!!)

But the beauty of this device is in the iOS. Introducing Version 7. Siri now has options for Sheela, Munni, Lola Kutty, Chandler, Yoko, MJ and also Grumpy Cat. Twitter has been integrated in, so no matter what you are doing, the twitter app posts a tweet on your behalf. It's so smart, you don't even have to tell it what to tweet. It picks up your location, labels it as per the frequency of your visit, the microphone picks up the sound and then posts it as per the number of times you touched the phone. (Imagine never having to type a tweet from the Loo!!!)

Some unique features include

1. Close your eyes when you sleep. When you open them, the screen will already be on!!!
2. It detects when you are out of your regular network coverage and completely shuts down all cellular data, saving you millions in telephone bills
3. App Store - We've been counting on this since the first iPhone. Like 6 years ago. Still will for the next few. We are that consistent.
4. iCloud - Sync your apple devices to the cloud and have your ipad, ipad mini, ipad micro, itouch, ifeel, ipod, iwatch, ifridge, imac, ipack, isofa, i.... AND HAVE ALL THE SAME STUFF ON IT. EVERY TIME.  LIKE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. Awesome, no?
5. Customizable screens - You can now move around your apps all over the screen!!! In different formations of 4*4, 4*4 and 4*4!!!

More than 76,003 features and updates included. It's available in 16GB, 32GB and 64GB. (Please note, iOS takes up about 15.8 GB)

All this awesomeness, at a price of just 2 kidneys and one spleen. Special offers running now where you can pay with one kidney, and installments of 5 fingers / Toes / Eyeballs / Liver every month.

Grab it now. It's the best thing that happened to IPhone since the Industrial Revolution.

Follow up post coming soon.

Cheers
M

Where Am I from?

I usually get into spells of immense thinking. It's like a phase, where  my left brain and right brain have conversations that ultimately give me a backache. Blame it on Acupuncture. (That Pin poking thingy)

It was in one of these sessions that I was absolutely convinced that in a previous birth I must've been a driver of some sorts. Taxi or Auto, but one of the two for sure. That must be the reason why I keep meeting so many drivers with so many interesting stories to tell, which make me go "Ahaaa" to which the driver promptly replies "Kai zala?" in Marathi.

Anyways, the topic of today's brain freeze conversation is "Where am I from?"

There are these standard questions that people ask you and you promptly have an answer pop into your head. Visually at least.

For e.g

Q - Hey Whats up
A - Nothing, you tell.

Q - What's your favorite colour?
A - Blue / I don't know

Q - Who's hotter? Anushka or Deepika?
A - Megan Fox / Angelina Jolie (By God's grace at least now she will retire from those buhledy worlds hottest lists)

Q - I have Scotch and Vodka, what will you have?
A - Do you have beer?

Q - Saw any movies recently?
A - *Image of that movie that friend of your friend gave you on that pen drive that everyone's been sharing* No.

Q - Kya Aapke toothpaste main namak hai?
A - Haan saale, Sambhar powder bhi hai, khayega kya? (Rhetorical, am not offering)

Q - Where are you from?
A - Err. Heard of Shimoga? How about Mangalore? Karnataka? Yes am a Madarasi, Thank you.


Truth be said, I have been around. Spent an equal amount if time in the Gulf, in Udupi/Manipal, at Bangalore and now what looks like its going to be quite some time in Mumbai. While I borrowed a lot from them, none of them has left a mark that's deep enough to be called home.

For example, I loved the places in Manipal that I used to spend so much time at with my friends. In Bangalore it was all about enjoying the lovely weather and the ease of travel (Yes come to Mumbai, it's like going to space in a cycle rickshaw) Bahrain was all about school time memories. And now Mumbai, well we're just getting started.

I don't think I've ever answered the question about "Where are you from?" in one line.

The most recent being my explanation to an Expat that India is divided into "Zones" depending on what people eat. Idlis? - Madrasi. Chaats? Mumbai. Momos? Definitely from East (Don't even have a place) and Tandoori chicken. Delhi. If you eat bullets and bombs, probably way up north in "Paradise on Earth"

Just FYI, I like all the above. Am like the public buffet that everyone eats free off and then cribs - Definitely Indian.

Anyways, Next time someone asks me where am from, I guess I'll just say that. Indian.

Cheers
M

Love in an auto - Mumbai Tidbits

I have been in the city of dreams for about  4 months now. And there are many things that are different, unique and surprising sometimes. 

One of the many things that has given me a unique perspective of things is the concept of sharing Autos with people you hardly know.

Totally Random. Yes.

I usually wait near my house to catch an auto. Now the location I work at, Chakala, is the Mother-of-Traffic-Jams. Its like a free for all rally for vehicles. Imagine being stuck on the peak of a flyover for hours. And having nothing to do except look at other cars. I happened to once see Vinay Pathak in a Hyundai Accent. But most of the other times its just legs in various attires or as far as the eye can see, without. 

Anyways, going by the sheer traffic, getting an auto is next only to getting a meeting with the President. Wait, that's a bong now so rash-gulla should do the trick...err Prime Minister.The ratio of getting an auto to stop is 5/10. Getting a stopped auto to take you to where you want to go is 1/10. So your chance individually is 1 out of 20. Add 5 more people to the equation and you get the picture. There are also the crazies, who will run all around the road, at ALL autos, and cursing loudly. 

So there is always a small gathering on different sides of the road trying to get an auto to the same locale. I can recognize many of them now, by having seen them so often. That's when it started.

The first time was this guy who got an auto and stopped a little ahead and popped his head out to ask me if he could drop me to Andheri Station, which was like mid way to my stop. I politely declined, out of awkwardness. 

The next time it was raining heavily, My shoes was already drenched. Not one single auto was even bothered to look at us. I stopped an auto but he refused, and started talking to the lady behind me. I walked away, and heard her arguing with the auto wala. In a few minutes she called out to me, offering to drop me to some place. I had no idea where that was, and I told her so. She just shrugged and left.

Next was my turn. I was in an auto stuck in the traffic, reading a book. An old lady approached us and asked where I was going. She asked me for a drop to someplace in between which I obliged. I felt good I must say. And Not a word from the auto wala. It was welcome change after the Thugs of Bangalore.

One the very same day, on my way back, there was a long wait. Just as I got an auto, a pretty young thing asked me where I was going, and said if she could join me. As laddoo's phooted in my head, I enthusiastically  agreed with my best smile and faster-than-Usain-Bolt head nodding. 

Just as she was going to get into the auto, And as the violins were getting into the flow of things, the autowala decided he didn't like me. Or my future plans. He refused plainly to take on additional passenger (Bah!) and demanded money from her. Outraged, I started going Karate on him when, she smiled sweetly and said it's ok. I was crest fallen.

Needless to say, I fought like hell with him over the meter, more so for him spoiling my potential marriage plans. I still mourn the opportunity of the kids we could've had together. *Sigh*

(For the record, my modus operandi for picking women is not offering rides in autos. Actually, I don't even have one, I think.)

The last, was recently, when the station were closed. This guy just asks me, "Dude where you going" So I told him and he said lets share an auto. I agreed. Over chasing autos all over the road (Yes, he was a mumbaikar, also equipped with the latest in cursing technology) and after finally badgering one to take us, we spoke. Of random things, where we worked an all that. He happened to stay two blocks next to my place, and he let me in on Auto catching technology.  

And so it has been, waiting and sharing, sharing and dropping and all that. Next time, maybe, the auto wala will be kind to not mess with my future.

Cheers

M

Colonizing the Colonizers

Someone rightly said, Mahatma Gandhi said "Be the change you want to see in the world"  
Silent prayer to Google and Wikipedia. 


I bet they never saw that kind off change coming. Or that we'd follow them back to their country and populate it like rabbits, and infest their streets with restaurants serving Tandoori dishes. (1.5 million strong and counting)


Music  - Raghav Sachar to Jay Sean, Juggy D, Rishi Rich? Ring a bell?
Food  - Tandoori Chicken, Dal Makhani, Tikka
Transport - Jaguar. 
Business - Arcelor. Corus. British Salt, Tetley etc etc (FYI  - Top 5 Investors in the country, Tata group alone counts for 2.something of your GDP.
Television Series, Movies, Politicans, Law and policy makers and so on and so forth.


Get the drift? I hope you do Dear fellow. I have absolutely no inclination to research, my people in Cambridge and Oxford are looking into it.

Now we have our sights set on your sport. Football. (It's all part of the 200 year plan. Started with Venky's and Blackburn. Now Airtel is in on it.)


I'll make you an deal. Give us the Kohinoor back, and we'll spare your fish n chips.


Regards
Madan "Cheeky Fellow" Kamath

PS - No offence Intended. In the immortal words of Russell Peters..." ...do you realize there's not gonna be no more white people? There's not gonna be any more black people. Everyone is going to be beige....Eventually we're all gonna become some hybrid mix of Chinese and Indian. They're the two largest populations in the world. So you can run from us now."

A Midsummer Night's Adventure

Hello.

< Spoiler - Long Post >

Since the last one month or so of sobriety, I have nothing interesting or exciting to report, except for the story I shall narrate below, and that I can now cook for a living. Which is a big deal, given that Maggi was my idea of a home cooked meal.

Added to my now expanding repertoire of home cooked meals is Rice, Dal, chicken curry and fry, Oats Upma, Pasta, Tea and Coffee. Also Potato wedges and tomatoes with a special fluffy omelet. So far I haven't seen my neighbors complaining, nor the birds and squirrels in nearby trees choking while I cook, so I guess its all good. As for me, my stomach is like a cement mixer (touch wood) and has kept my faith up.

Anyways, the story I am going to narrate will need a precautionary disclaimer:

Sabbatical

Sabbatical or a sabbatical (From Latin Sabbaticus, from Greek, from Hebrew shabbat<, i.e Sabbath, literally a "ceasing") is a rest from work, or a hiatus, often lasting from two months to a year.

To my billions of readers, (99.99% imaginary) do not despair. I have decided to take a Sabbatical from Blogging, Facebook and Twitter. It has nothing to do with you of course, I don't even know you. Unless that I actually know you, which makes the previous statement redundant. I will perhaps, use Foursquare and Instagram, but lets see.

I believe in the last 12 months or so, I have spent a lot of time on things which were of no consequence. I have squandered my time and patience, my energies and my feelings on meaningless pursuits, and in chasing happiness that was only temporary. That does not mean I didn't have fun. But I seem to be languishing in the past, which is definitely not good. And also that the world moves on, even if you don't. Something to do with the earth rotating and all that.

No, I am not shaving my head and heading to the Himalayas. As much as I am tempted to do. 

Its just that I've begun to lose out on the important things. For example I spend so much time on Social media with no actual expertise what soever. I tweet, but I have like 5 tweeps who interact. And both these time consuming activities are not something that I see myself doing at 40. As a job that is. 

Apart from the time factor, I also have a lot of baggage I want to get rid off. I want to see if it exists once I come back, in which case it wouldn't be baggage. And there is the RSI. After all the typing at work, I don't think I need any more back home.

Also I have begun leaning towards "reculsive" tendencies - the biggest sign, Food no longer interests me. Yikes!!! (Vada Pav is an exception)

I've been thinking on these lines for some time now. My real life is nothing like the online life. Which is very very sad. 

There are many things I plan to do. One of course is to continue writing but not publish them. And also to find a publisher who would give me honest feedback on my script. (I just realized I can type without looking at the keyboard. Yay!!!) 

Also Travel around this city, which, as of now I have no interest in. Maybe take up a hobby, a real one. Or maybe  start painting again. Its been ages since I did that. Photography is also possible, in which case I would have to use Flickr or something. And that will need to be rethought. I also want to visit more people and talk to people more. I might study, and reading is definitely on my agenda. 

I'll cut myself some slack. I don't know If I'll get a reason to come back, or as to when. I might be back in 2 days, or 2 months, or 2 years, or never. But in my current non inebriated state, I don't have a clue.

Take care, I'll miss you 

Keep Smiling :)

M

Growing up

Everyone has a growing up story. I really have short stories, because I was in this growing up phase in different places at different times. But the most important lessons are always learnt at home, no?
As middle class people, my parents didn't have it easy. I don't think many did have it easy in that age, but as parents they never let kids know. I realized it much later once I had the luxury of sitting down and observing life.

As any parent, my parents always wanted me to do well. But it was never stated or drilled into my head that I had to be the top or the best. Marks did matter, but it wasn't like I had to get a hundred. Anything that was a good score was good enough. But what they did instill in me was a sense of not being a brat, and of the importance of honesty. It was important to be courteous to guests, to always offer before taking, to say Thank you and Please, and Sorry. I think the importance and power of these things are lost these days.

There was this one time, when I scored a 9/10 in a class test. I had to get my Dad's sign on the test book. It wasn't something I'd be mortified about, I'd just keep it on the table, and he'd have a look and sign on the way out. But for some reason, I forgot to get his signature. Day 2, ditto. On Day 3, the class teacher makes us all non-sign-getters to stand up and threatens a trip to the headmaster. Now, Junior me, scared as shit, gets a brain wave. He decided to sign it himself!!! So I do it, a ditto forgery, and am saved!!! But, the guilt starts building and building, and by the end of the day, another brain wave. I decide to white-ink the forged signature, and get Dad's original signature. Like a consolation of types.

But when I did show it to Dad, I discovered another thing, That if you look at the back of the page, you see what was "white-inked". Needless to say, I got the whooping of my life. I was in 4th grade.

Have hated that feeling of  "guilt" ever since.

They also taught me to respect and be nice to people, no point hating eh? I took that on a slightly different note, writing my first "appreciation note". In 3rd grade!!! The girls name was Deepti and she was a Punjabi. She had these cat eyes and a very doll-like face. The "note" fell in to the wrong hands, and I have to rate the humiliation as one the top of my embarrassing moments list. I guess that's why am so into "writing " :-)

My mum has always been suggestive in the pursuits I took up. They got me a piano, not because I wanted one or that they wanted me to learn it. But because I used to play a small pencil box piano all the time. They got me basketball classes, because I wanted to get tall and hated the monkey bars in the parks. A Walkman, because that's what other kids had. The only thing I ever asked for would be some or the other kind of toy, before I came to India to complete my studies around 7th grade. Am still fascinated by Lego and remote controlled monster trucks!!!

I got swimming classes, because I loved the beaches ever since I was a baby, they were my favorite haunt. None of my courses were ever chosen by my parents. I have been self reliant through out. The decision to send me off to a hostel must have been very hard on them as it was on me, but today, I can proudly say that I can survive anywhere. I may not want to, but I can. In the whole scheme of things, I've also done public speaking, acting, singing, dancing, painting and photography, the school band all in school and college. Never stuck to anything long enough though.

They've given me a lot more than I could ask for. It's a different thing that I screwed up here and there, but all part of the larger scheme of things - I keep telling myself. They're last worry is  on getting me hitched ASAP. Which I have assured them is not going to happen any time soon.

Of course, having stayed away from them for almost 17 years, I missed out on the Advanced Life handling courses. Like the one where you experience how the world is genereally not very welcoming. Or the one where being selfish is the only way you get what you want. Or the part where it's okay to screw around with people you love/ who love you. And of course when relationships can be turned on and off like a switch, or when a bro can become a non-bro. And where friend is just another button away on a stupid website. (the one which I am super active on)

But then because you have such fundamentals, you're on this path that you hold on to dearly, but so want to dump and experiment. And you're caught in between, which honestly is the worst place to be. But you learn every day, with everyone, and keep it going. We're still growing up.

I owe a lot to my buds who've been a part of very important phases of my life. Guess they're more like true bro's (and female equivalent) than any.

M

Voices

They keep chattering
One after the other
Ideas and complaints
Some funny, some not so clever

Thoughts and Schemes
They let me dream
Pain and senseless banter
Control me, infuriate me

The less they know
The louder they get
Keep doing something
Else they keep going

All the time
Everywhere
One over the shoulder
One behind my ear

They can be friends
They can be Foes
Care to listen,
You can choose to choose

These Voices

M

(PS: Meditation helps, apparently)

Cracking a Job Interview

Everywhere I have been, there has been no shortage of people looking out for a job. Every single place, every single time, there are reasons a plenty to look out. Either the money's not good, or the job's not good, bad bosses, different location preferences, boredom, girlfriend in another town, homesickness, restricted growth, function shifts, graveyard shifts, Saturday working, etc etc

All said and done, no one is ever happy. Except when your nearing gratuity (4.8 months to be eligible) you manage to trudge along, and then its run run run. 

There are a million sites, which give you tips on job interviews. Dress well, polish shoes, perm your hair, Acceptable Jewel standards, Smile, carry near folder, etc etc. There is also the free advice you get from your everyone, don't jump companies, liquor is a bad place, service industry is a tough place to move from, shouldn't negotiate too hard on salary, etc etc.

All said and done, there is only one truth at the start. Getting to the table. Once your at the interview table, its all in your hands.

The Old Man's friend

A visit to "Daiv'd Mane"(explanation below) in the off hours, or when its not crowded is always an experience. You are either on the edge because of its eerie silence, or in awe of the tranquil sanctity of the place. Heavy wooden beams, Stone floors, the Oil lamps, the cool air, the ring of the bells resonating off the stone sculptures of the Deity's Guards. These are temples of old, not the quick-pray-pay-leave models that have begun to spring up in every nook and corner of modern Metro's. Even the most simplest of these temples in Udupi and its neighboring towns has a profound energy. It makes you want to believe.

One this visit, with my parents, we were pleasantly surprised to find 2 priests in the temple. A younger one, doing his traditional sandhyavandan, and the other an older person, age showing profoundly on him. Years of prayers and service had taken its toll on him, he was easily over 70. He sat leaning on the pillar, smiling at the rare evening visitors, who were obviously from out of town.