Boracay - The South East Asia Trip Part 5 Finale

Read Part 1 - Malaysia

Read Part 2 - Langkawi
Read Part 3 - Singapore

Read Part 4 - Philippines 

Borocay. The most beautiful piece of earth I have ever seen. Beige Sands, crystal clear water tinted blue and green like the sky, and such a lovely nightlife. It was not once that I contemplated buying a sail boat and settling down here, even if I had to become Madan Kumar MBA, Nariyal Pani Wala.

I can't stop gushing about this place. We stayed at a beautiful cottage right on the beach, come to think of it everything is either on the beach or not in Boracay. You will find all kind of people here, from the mainland as well as lots of tourists.

The Sky and water is JUST SO BLUE

One of the best things you can do is just walk around the pristine sand. They do not allow any food or drink on to the sands, and any one, usually locals will stop you from going on to the beach if they see you carrying something on to the sand. Apart from the view of natural beauty, you have lots of other activities like boating, scuba dyving, snorkeling, bid watching *wink wink* and the likes. The nights light up with all the pubs, bars and shows coming on to entertain. Each and every bar is different, some play live music on the sands, there are fire dances and drum solos, shopping of knick knacks and live food. (Check instagram on @2emkay) Getting a back massage in the sun is something you will never regret ever, especially if there's a cocktail near by and a cool breeze.

But enough about that boring stuff. Lets get right to the exciting part.

Fire show at the beach 

We decided to go snorkeling because we didn't have enough time for a full course of Scuba. Also my "Friend" almost lied his way to a dive, till the moment the instructor told us about impending death if we don't wait for a full 18 hours before catching a flight. (Nitrogen gets into your veins and it explodes and shit). So we merry 4 caught up with a friends, friends group to snorkel around the seas. 

It was beautiful, and as we dived into the water, I must say it was like swimming in a 360 degree aquarium. The oarsman basically throws bread crumbs and you see all these colorful little fish swim right up to your nose and its just mesmerizing. We then moved to an island for some rests and general buffoonery, before we headed back.

Now it was quite dark by the time we could see the shore lights, which was still a good 500 meters away when the boat suddenly stopped. Apparently, the tide was too low for the boat to go any further. We just ignored the guy like we ignore traffic signals in India. After 5 min of silence, it suddenly sunk in.

WE HAD TO WALK BACK TO THE FREAKING SHORE.

I watch discovery channel a lot, and my memory at these occasions quickly recalls venomous snakes, paralyzing Jellyfish, puffed up fish, etc. Not to mention pit holes, currents and clothing more appropriate for a bath, rather than adventure sports of this kind.

Slowly one by one, we got into the water, waist high. Putting all our gadgetry into plastic bags held high across our heads, and holding hands as we moved in single formation s-l-o-w-l-y across dark, murky waters. As we did so, we took a solemn vow to not take photographs, lest some evil sea creature attack us.

(Also wanted to avoid the utter embarrassment of 12, 29 somethings walking holding hands for dear life)

We tumbled, yelled, screamed (You'd be surprised at the squeals of some of these "stud" type guys have. PS - ladies, do a voice test before you get hitched) I got pricked twice by something on the super fine sea bed, because being taller meant being leaned on for support. 

FINALLY, we made it to the beach. Alive. In the process, we had a few injured people, 3 lost slippers (BC was losing the second pair in 2 days) and hurt pride. 

The Shooter menu for the 15 rounds

But this was not the end. Later in the evening we went to this place called Cocomangas, Shooter bar. For every round of 15 shots that you have, your country gets a point on the huge Score board. We had three rounds, and I don't remember a lot of the rest of the night.

Ok I Do, but am not telling you. *Insert sly smile*

Just note that we added 3 points to team India, holding up the pride of our Nation, as compared to certain people in the USA doing all hira kiri with maids and stuff. 

They Played Hindi numbers, we did the world famous in India train dance sequence and manged to hop out to another bar where some English douche was playing weird music. The rest of the night, without much detail as below.

- Fight breaks out

- Music stops, Spot light on fighters

- Fighters turn out to be 2 from our extended group (WTF?!!!)

- The opposition is a foreigner (Imagine Andre the giant)

- There are bouncers now

- Guys fall over a table

- Random female almost clobbers a guy with a bottle for spilling her drink from aforementioned table

- I don't think the guy knows

- Wait, someone punched the bouncer

- SHIT THERE ARE COPS NOW, HIDE. 

- People are being arrested and cuffed, I hear references to Sisters / Mothers in Hindi

- WTF is number 2 doing joking with the Foreigners friends?!!

- Sanity check - where are all core members. 1, 2 ,3....wait wheres 4?!!

- Panic for number 4. Number 3 confirms number 4 is with him

- All Clear

- Music is back on. Everyone's dancing.

- UPA is still in power in Delhi What the hell just happened?!!

I manage to reach home with number 2. What he said, in 7.1 Dolby Digital sound to the population of Boracay, Americans, Indians, Dogs, Random Rickshaw puller, Motorbike rider, Bar staff and the Universe is now between his conscience and them. I cannot say anymore. Time 4.30 am. I had been awake, dancing, a little tipsy (You have to believe me here, I was strangely sober) for about 28 hours now. My Camera was the only thing in my hand functioning normally. (Except for the dead battery)

The next day I fell sick. We were back in India in 3 days.

And that my friends, was the conclusion of our epic trip. From getting stranded at the airport to walking crazy distances, barging our way through to an airplane seat 9 hours after departure time, Racist slurs at a Casino to being held at Immigration, to the epic events in Boracay.

It was LEGEN *Wait for it* DARY!!!!

I also learned that no time is as good a time as now. You know those friends you have? Hold them close. It's hard to start from scratch, and a little here and there is fine in the long run. 

And remember kids, YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE!!!! 

Cheers

M

Philippines - The South East Asia Trip Part 4

Read Part 1 - Malaysia

Read Part 2 - Langkawi
Read Part 3 - Singapore


The last part of Trip consisted of landing in Philippines and moving around to different islands, catching the awesome night life and enjoying cheap luxuries.Philippines is seriously quite cheap. But as usual when things can go wrong, they will always go wrong exponentially.

So let me admit my mistake, starting off with basic Geography 101.

Next, Philippines is always at the center point of typhoons, so it would be wise to not go there in the monsoons, unless you really hate yourself or are taking your Ex there on a one way ticket. (Presuming you are coming back) We went there because we probably hated each other.

Anyways, we too were unfortunate enough to catch the rains, and a large part of our trip got busted, including a trip to Coron islands (which got substituted by a one night day complimentary stay at the 0 starr airport) and a dormant Volcano. (Sigh, I know) We missed a freaking Volcano. (Point to note, I and BC were the only two standing on two feet at the point of departure to this venue)

Anyway, the most exciting part of this whole trip is when we were detained at immigration.

----

*Dark Room with lighting only on partial face. Unknown identity asks a a question.*

"I Thought it was easy money. All we had to do was carry a suitcase of drugs across the border, and we would be millionaires. They promised it would all be good. It was supposed to all taken care of. But when they get you, you're all alone"

Locked Up Abroad on National Geographic Channel

---

My mind, dear friends, is a virtual time bomb of thoughts. At any given point of time, I am riding on a sleigh fighting dementors, or could be romancing a noble lady on a stage in Paris. So when I came to know that the airport we were landing at, was a well known hub for all these kind of TV shows, well, all these episodes and dialogues come rushing...

The airport we were landing at, NAIA is rated the worst airport in the world (FYI, Kolkata, Chennai, Mumbai are in the Top 10 worst airports as well). It is also one of the most busiest airports in Asia. T3, the latest terminal is meant only for international flights, so if you land at another terminal from an international flight. Well, God Bless you.

Anyways, we landed at the right airport and were aiming to get Visa on Arrival as we had Singapore Visa's. Let me reiterate, that this is a known hub for drug smuggling and shit, so the officials are always looking for shady characters. And when it comes to shady, no one can beat my 2, eager to please, never traveled abroad alone, half groggy unshaven spectacle wearing Indian friends.

All we had to do was walk to the counter, show them the passport and visa, and the air ticket, and move.

But NO. My dear friends HAD to do some "Khujli". They HAVE to ask the most sternest looking cop some imbecile like questions.

"Sir we don't have Visa" will probably go down as the worst thing ever said to a customs official by a tourist in a foreign airport known for smuggling.

We submitted all our documents to three cops, before a senior cop with 3 stars on her uniform (and looked very much like Farida Jalal ) took us to an inside room. We sat down on comy Sofa's while they kept asking us questions.

Cop 1 to me - What's your name?
Me - Madan

Cop 1 to me - Where are you from?
Me - Bangalore

Cop 2 to BC - Who is he? *points to me*
BC - Madan

Cop 3 to Cop 2 : Sounds like *snicker snicker ha ha gibberish gibberish*
Cop 2 to me : How do you know him? *point to BC*
Me - We are friends

Cop 2 to Me : Who are you?
Me - Madan

All the Cops - "Hmm..."

After 5 minutes

Cop 3 to me - Who are you?
Me - Sigh. Madan

Eventually, after all possible combinations and permutations of who asked whom were done, the grilling was over. I got off because I had a huge Multinational backing my employment, while the other two jokers were employed by a company who had a billboard right in front of the cops, and the cops had never heard of the company. #Facepalm

Finally, we come to know that our return tickets have been cancelled, because the government cancelled the license of the Airlines 2 days ago. #PANIC. Our host meanwhile was pretty sure we were arrested or something because we were 3 hours late, and was all set to call emergency services.

After another good hour more we were let go. And this is picture best explains relief that we felt at that point of time.

Manila is very much like a Mumbai. The only difference is that people here look different and eat different. The Americans have basically changed the whole country during the wars and occupations into a "entertainment" destination for their soldiers based there, so you will see a lot of American influence in the culture. The girls want to marry Americans, the guys want to go to America accept that America doesn't see this place as anything more than a speck.

Its like the famous historian and inter racial cultural expert Russel Peters once said "BESHT Bro, IT IS BESHT. AMERICAN BRO, BESHT"

This has already gone for too long, So I will write one more post on Borocay (Where we swam across the OCEAN in the dead of NIGHT to reach shore) before I conclude the series. Am also planning to put together a Pinterest board of all the stops we made, that might be of interest to you guys.

So here's to then, Merry Christmas.


M

Malaysia Ahoy!!! - The South East Asia Trip Part 1

This year I was able to keep up a promise to myself to travel ever year to some place new and different. As much as I tried to present an international image by checking into foreign locales on Free WiFi, there's so much that happened, so many experiences, that I feel the need to document it. In case someone wants to make a movie on me or something. (Hey you never know)

Theres a lot of stuff, but I'll try to keep it as interesting and amusing as possible, which basically means I'll talk all about the shit the other three do. (Imma Good Boy)

Mandatory self Identification photo before trip

As a disclaimer, and to protect the identity of Debi, Bc and Vc I will refrain from naming the guys who came with me on this trip of *Beep* *Beep* *Beep* and all the food, sightseeing and entertainment.

I will also for the first time be able to put up videos of the trip, and that will be through my YouTube Channel which I will name shortly.

We started our trip from Bangalore where we flew to Kuala Lumpur, and then from there to Langkawi. This was followed by a 3 day jump to Singapore, and then to the Philippines where we went to Manila and Borocay.  Coron islands was also on the list, but typhoons made sure that our trip was cancelled. 

Through our the trip we've had miserable situations and brilliant come backs, and you won't believe me if I said we got detained in Immigration, walked in the middle of the ocean, got into Bar fights and more. And still got back safely, except for a little fever I caught due to exhaustion. 

So on departure from Bangalore, one of us was a first time traveler to foreign lands. This is the same guy who was considered as a beacon of good luck for anyone who wanted to travel abroad. Every person who has stayed with him (including me) has been posted "on site" (Software Engineering terms for getting posted in USA with normal Dollar salary but when it is converted to rupee I become rich and can buy a flat in Bangalore) or traveled abroad. 

He was as excited as a smoked up monkey in a room full of ripe bananas, and as soon as we boarded the plane I heard stuff like "Oh my God, look!!! More Humans" and "We are going out of the country!!! Do they know yet?" and of course "Shit, I've arrived in life". Of Course Debi, the veteran Package tour travel specialist was busy snoring so loud that the pilot had to check if everything was alright with the engines. And I was busy making up these jokes for the blog, so you know who's left right? 

It was a difficult flight majorly be cause the seats were uncomfortable. That's what happens when you put a XXL ass into a Economy seat. But enough about those guys. We slept and awoke and slept and awoke before I finally got some shut eye. 

I was rudely awoken to "OH MY GOD, Kuala Lumpur has lights!!!" and "Look at the runway, its better than our roads in Sarjapur" etc. just as we touched down in the LCC Terminal in Kuala Lumpur.

There are two things you should know about the KL Airport. For all you "Foreign country is amajing" this airport requires you to walk all the way to the terminal from the airplane. There are no Air conditioned buses awaiting to ferry your merry ass to the terminal. Also there must be some 160 odd spots for planes to land, so that basically meant I could watch HIMMATWALA and recover by the time I reached the Terminal.

Just a few of the Air Asia Jetliners

The other thing about LCC KL airport, is that its isn't an airport. Its actually the Air Asia Exhibition center. For miles and miles across all you will see, are Air Asia Planes. Trust me, every thing that flies there has an Air Asia tag. And pretty sure half the country works for them. Not that am complaining with all the air hostesses around. 

Anyways, once we were in we decided to hit the streets and visit the Petronas towers. You know, those twin towers that were once the tallest towers before Burj Al Arab came into being and Al-Halal-ed every other building on Planet Earth. Now the tricky part was we had 5 hours in which to reach this place and come back. 

So we took a convenient Bus (Air conditioned and with recliner seats) for the one hour journey to KL Central. From there we took a taxi (around 15 minutes) to the Petronas towers. It was closed, but we did get into the compound. 

The twins were just beautiful. You don't really get a sense of the size and how magnificent and powerful these structures really are, until you get your nose right up to it and look up. Just, Freaking Amazing. 

I was so caught up that I just didn't really make the max of my camera. Also, there were these huge flood lights right bang at eye level, so no matter how I tried I just kept getting this huge glare at the bottom of my screen. 

But trust me, It definitely looks far better at night than in the morning. The splendor of a fully lit Petronas must be something really worth taking in. Unfortunately for us, it wasn't one of those days.

Its moments like these that I want to abandon people

After a few...err...okay a lot of  "Me with Petronas, Me with Malaysia sign board" etc type photos, we decided to head back. On the way we made a quick detour to visit the National Mosque of Malaysia. It was beautiful but we didn't get any decent picture that would be worthy of its grandeur.

Also we were worried of missing our next flight to Langkawi.

Once back at the airport, we had to get used to the different ways the airport operates. Here you need to check in on the machines, and then go to the counters to drop off luggage, and then wait in the expansive lounge before walking across miles and miles to reach the airplane.

One thing which caught us off guard was the women cops at the security check. And they do check men as well. And they yell. LOUDLY. So we didn't know that "Belts" were also to be taken off before running under the scanner. So I had this lady cop YELL at me to take off my belt and come back. It wasn't a very "Shades of Grey" type scenario that I'd have fond memories of either. Lets just leave it at that.

In the next post, expect more of how we took Langkawi by storm, had Laksa, and almost ran away in the middle of the morning from our Hotel.

Cheers 

M