The one with God, Religion & Humanity

The evolution of one's belief is primarily through what one has been taught, learnt and experienced over time. If you are one of those who has very strong beliefs on Religion, God or any related topics are are the easily offended, then you probably won't enjoy this post.


*my blog, my rules*

Religion is a very strange topic. People love to fight over religion using "God's" shoulder to fire from. It is rather ironical that the religions that we see today, have nothing to do with the virtue's and purposes that it was meant to eschew, or that's about as much credit as I would give it.

Who we are

I've seen castles made of sand
Met people who believe destiny is engraved
on the palm of their hands
I've seen people who changed their faith
Sometimes we even get to see Love turn to hate
I've seen people grow younger with age
And a bird who wouldn't fly out of an open cage
I've seen love sold for money
And people devastated inside, yet outside they're funny
I've seen a Unicorn fall in love with a toad
People who owned the city, are now on the road
I've learnt to expect the unexpected
Perfection is unreal, we're all dented
Everyone cries, some hide their tears
Doesn't coal turn to Diamond, a thousand years?
For some, you are one in a million
To others, you remain a nobody in a billion
So live life with all that you have
Cherish everything, happy or sad
Feel Blessed, Erase those memories, those scar's
Life is too short, so try not to forget
Who you truly are.





Cheers
M

Bye Bye 2015

The writing of a post at the end of the year has been a tradition ever since the the inception of this blog. Am not sure if it still remains a blog or if it's more of a random musing kind of thing. Nonetheless, I feel this immense weight on my shoulders to write after ignoring this site for a good many months.

I am a vivid dreamer, both night and day. Some of you may know my tales which I might mumble over a conversation with the right audience, but largely on a one on one basis. While most of my college life it was very limited to random dreams of snakes (and I have no fear of snakes to be honest) of more recent it has been very strange movie themed dreams that often include people who've been on my mind. I've been on war style attacks on random mushroom shaped homes, and I've been one romantic liaisons with people who never even featured on my list when am awake. To clarify, I don't have a list.

Boracay - The South East Asia Trip Part 5 Finale

Read Part 1 - Malaysia

Read Part 2 - Langkawi
Read Part 3 - Singapore

Read Part 4 - Philippines 

Borocay. The most beautiful piece of earth I have ever seen. Beige Sands, crystal clear water tinted blue and green like the sky, and such a lovely nightlife. It was not once that I contemplated buying a sail boat and settling down here, even if I had to become Madan Kumar MBA, Nariyal Pani Wala.

I can't stop gushing about this place. We stayed at a beautiful cottage right on the beach, come to think of it everything is either on the beach or not in Boracay. You will find all kind of people here, from the mainland as well as lots of tourists.

The Sky and water is JUST SO BLUE

One of the best things you can do is just walk around the pristine sand. They do not allow any food or drink on to the sands, and any one, usually locals will stop you from going on to the beach if they see you carrying something on to the sand. Apart from the view of natural beauty, you have lots of other activities like boating, scuba dyving, snorkeling, bid watching *wink wink* and the likes. The nights light up with all the pubs, bars and shows coming on to entertain. Each and every bar is different, some play live music on the sands, there are fire dances and drum solos, shopping of knick knacks and live food. (Check instagram on @2emkay) Getting a back massage in the sun is something you will never regret ever, especially if there's a cocktail near by and a cool breeze.

But enough about that boring stuff. Lets get right to the exciting part.

Fire show at the beach 

We decided to go snorkeling because we didn't have enough time for a full course of Scuba. Also my "Friend" almost lied his way to a dive, till the moment the instructor told us about impending death if we don't wait for a full 18 hours before catching a flight. (Nitrogen gets into your veins and it explodes and shit). So we merry 4 caught up with a friends, friends group to snorkel around the seas. 

It was beautiful, and as we dived into the water, I must say it was like swimming in a 360 degree aquarium. The oarsman basically throws bread crumbs and you see all these colorful little fish swim right up to your nose and its just mesmerizing. We then moved to an island for some rests and general buffoonery, before we headed back.

Now it was quite dark by the time we could see the shore lights, which was still a good 500 meters away when the boat suddenly stopped. Apparently, the tide was too low for the boat to go any further. We just ignored the guy like we ignore traffic signals in India. After 5 min of silence, it suddenly sunk in.

WE HAD TO WALK BACK TO THE FREAKING SHORE.

I watch discovery channel a lot, and my memory at these occasions quickly recalls venomous snakes, paralyzing Jellyfish, puffed up fish, etc. Not to mention pit holes, currents and clothing more appropriate for a bath, rather than adventure sports of this kind.

Slowly one by one, we got into the water, waist high. Putting all our gadgetry into plastic bags held high across our heads, and holding hands as we moved in single formation s-l-o-w-l-y across dark, murky waters. As we did so, we took a solemn vow to not take photographs, lest some evil sea creature attack us.

(Also wanted to avoid the utter embarrassment of 12, 29 somethings walking holding hands for dear life)

We tumbled, yelled, screamed (You'd be surprised at the squeals of some of these "stud" type guys have. PS - ladies, do a voice test before you get hitched) I got pricked twice by something on the super fine sea bed, because being taller meant being leaned on for support. 

FINALLY, we made it to the beach. Alive. In the process, we had a few injured people, 3 lost slippers (BC was losing the second pair in 2 days) and hurt pride. 

The Shooter menu for the 15 rounds

But this was not the end. Later in the evening we went to this place called Cocomangas, Shooter bar. For every round of 15 shots that you have, your country gets a point on the huge Score board. We had three rounds, and I don't remember a lot of the rest of the night.

Ok I Do, but am not telling you. *Insert sly smile*

Just note that we added 3 points to team India, holding up the pride of our Nation, as compared to certain people in the USA doing all hira kiri with maids and stuff. 

They Played Hindi numbers, we did the world famous in India train dance sequence and manged to hop out to another bar where some English douche was playing weird music. The rest of the night, without much detail as below.

- Fight breaks out

- Music stops, Spot light on fighters

- Fighters turn out to be 2 from our extended group (WTF?!!!)

- The opposition is a foreigner (Imagine Andre the giant)

- There are bouncers now

- Guys fall over a table

- Random female almost clobbers a guy with a bottle for spilling her drink from aforementioned table

- I don't think the guy knows

- Wait, someone punched the bouncer

- SHIT THERE ARE COPS NOW, HIDE. 

- People are being arrested and cuffed, I hear references to Sisters / Mothers in Hindi

- WTF is number 2 doing joking with the Foreigners friends?!!

- Sanity check - where are all core members. 1, 2 ,3....wait wheres 4?!!

- Panic for number 4. Number 3 confirms number 4 is with him

- All Clear

- Music is back on. Everyone's dancing.

- UPA is still in power in Delhi What the hell just happened?!!

I manage to reach home with number 2. What he said, in 7.1 Dolby Digital sound to the population of Boracay, Americans, Indians, Dogs, Random Rickshaw puller, Motorbike rider, Bar staff and the Universe is now between his conscience and them. I cannot say anymore. Time 4.30 am. I had been awake, dancing, a little tipsy (You have to believe me here, I was strangely sober) for about 28 hours now. My Camera was the only thing in my hand functioning normally. (Except for the dead battery)

The next day I fell sick. We were back in India in 3 days.

And that my friends, was the conclusion of our epic trip. From getting stranded at the airport to walking crazy distances, barging our way through to an airplane seat 9 hours after departure time, Racist slurs at a Casino to being held at Immigration, to the epic events in Boracay.

It was LEGEN *Wait for it* DARY!!!!

I also learned that no time is as good a time as now. You know those friends you have? Hold them close. It's hard to start from scratch, and a little here and there is fine in the long run. 

And remember kids, YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE!!!! 

Cheers

M

I woke up today

Today

I woke up today in what felt like...well I don't even know what it feels like. They say I've been gone for 15 years. Lost, Sleeping, in a void, call it what you may, but I opened my eyes to a different world. Strange, distant and empty.

I saw my fiance, I think her name was Grace when I vanished, smile and tell me how great it is to have me back. I could see she'd brought some kids with her to see me and they were running around the white tiled floor, making squeaking noises as they tumbled along. Must be around 8 or 9 years, but kids keep growing faster every generation, so I wouldn't be sure. They look at lot like her and someone else, and nothing like me. Perhaps they are her children, am too scared to ask.

I can hear the monitors go beep beep, every third second, reminding me of my position at the moment. The Nurse showed me a list of people who visited me over the time, but I think I hardly remember or recognize the thinning line of people in the recent times. The last name looks like mom though. I wonder how she is, where she is. I hope she is.

I don't see any flowers or balloons that you'd expect visitors to leave when someone came back. That's what they used to show us in the movies. I wonder if they show the same stories in movies these days. Or if they even have movies these days. I wish I could see a movie right now, would be nice. They have this giant screen in the room across mine, but my doctor said they had removed all the stuff from my room because it wasn't being paid for and it wouldn't matter since I wasn't awake anyway. I don't know what he means by not awake, but I dare not ask questions, the answers to which might lead to painful memories.

The room doesn't have windows any more, my nurse keeps telling me new things every day. She says the atmosphere is too harsh to have windows anymore, and people have to walk around in suits and masks, or specially made vehicles that allow these things. It's dangerous, she says, to my poor health. I look at my skin which is almost a dull blue now. I wonder how old I am. I wonder how I look. Do I still have a job? What happened to my Dog? Do my best friends miss me? Did someone try to kill me? Is my Facebook account still active? Is the sky still blue? Are tigers extinct? Do people still go to church on Sundays?

I have so many questions. My mind just won't stop. But no one's come to see me yet. I think they don't know yet, at least I'd like to think so. Maybe am in a very far off place that makes it difficult for people to come visit. Or perhaps I did something bad that got me here and people hate me. I can't remember much from the past. But I do have some pictures run through my head now and then, of times that were good and fun. I just watch them float by in my head like white fluffy clouds on a bright summer day.

They've got all sorts of things attached to my head. I fall asleep often, I can't stay up for more than an hour, it feels like an hour almost, now. The only thing am sure of is what the code on my wrist.

It says #23437M Dec 17th, 2029.

Do you have a choice?

Ever since I gathered my thoughts, I've been a supporter of choice, of having that option in every sphere of life. But only recently has that brought on a new meaning.

We all hate taking tough decisions, which of course is a choice you make. I myself have begun to see that am going to have make a few choices that would effect a lot of my future soon, and I realise that it isn't actually in the future as much as it is right now, the only thing pushing the choice into the future being - me.  And this procrastination has made me very unhappy.

By choosing one thing, you actually un choose a whole lot of other options, ones you perhaps didn't even know existed. Choices you didn't even worry about because you never knew they were there. Which is profound in a way.

     

Then again if you choose not to make a choice, you just stay there, stagnate and die. So making a choice is not just about right and wrong, it's actually about survival.

If you need to survive, you HAVE to make a choice. There is no way you can choose not to. In fact everything you do is a choice. To think otherwise would be foolish.

You can never measure the outcome of the choices you left, at best making guesstimates of how it might have been. But then again even the choice you make in your favour rarely turns out like we expect them, do they?

I remember a debate sometime back where people said do innocents who die in a terrorist attack choose to be there? Well they chose to be in that spot, and the terrorist attack was something they didn't know about. And isn't that a lot like most of our situations, where the future cannot be predicted with certainty? Of course perhaps not so extreme a circumstance, but unknown nonetheless?

Again am not talking about bad or good choices. Like if you choose to jump off a cliff, there is a high risk that you will die. That's like pretty sure thing. It's a bad choice if your trying to fly, a good choice if you want to die a painful death. But that's not what am writing about. Am trying to focus more on the other daily life, work life, relationship life choices we make.

I guess in totality, we spend more time analysing things we choose but the energy is hardly equal to the results we actually get. Hence speed is of essence, make that choice, make that decision and move.

That being said, the question arises - why should we think about choosing at all? What's the point? Well the point would be that if you didn't think about it at all, your technically putting your survival at the hands of luck, a decision which your rational brain will not allow you to make. A human brain is designed to survive, not to think. And as being rational, it will force you, at some level to somehow  make that choice which had even the slightest advantage of survival than not.

Choices are also blurred by emotions, which perhaps is a close second to rationale in the brain. Make no mistake that to your brain, survival is always primary.

So how do you make the right choice? The perfect solution?

The answer is you can't. You may think it is, perhaps it even might be, but you'll never know.

And therefore coming to my philosophy - at any given time and situation, you have already made the best choice you could have, and there's nothing you can do about that particular choice once its in the past.

Cheers
M

Sabbatical

Sabbatical or a sabbatical (From Latin Sabbaticus, from Greek, from Hebrew shabbat<, i.e Sabbath, literally a "ceasing") is a rest from work, or a hiatus, often lasting from two months to a year.

To my billions of readers, (99.99% imaginary) do not despair. I have decided to take a Sabbatical from Blogging, Facebook and Twitter. It has nothing to do with you of course, I don't even know you. Unless that I actually know you, which makes the previous statement redundant. I will perhaps, use Foursquare and Instagram, but lets see.

I believe in the last 12 months or so, I have spent a lot of time on things which were of no consequence. I have squandered my time and patience, my energies and my feelings on meaningless pursuits, and in chasing happiness that was only temporary. That does not mean I didn't have fun. But I seem to be languishing in the past, which is definitely not good. And also that the world moves on, even if you don't. Something to do with the earth rotating and all that.

No, I am not shaving my head and heading to the Himalayas. As much as I am tempted to do. 

Its just that I've begun to lose out on the important things. For example I spend so much time on Social media with no actual expertise what soever. I tweet, but I have like 5 tweeps who interact. And both these time consuming activities are not something that I see myself doing at 40. As a job that is. 

Apart from the time factor, I also have a lot of baggage I want to get rid off. I want to see if it exists once I come back, in which case it wouldn't be baggage. And there is the RSI. After all the typing at work, I don't think I need any more back home.

Also I have begun leaning towards "reculsive" tendencies - the biggest sign, Food no longer interests me. Yikes!!! (Vada Pav is an exception)

I've been thinking on these lines for some time now. My real life is nothing like the online life. Which is very very sad. 

There are many things I plan to do. One of course is to continue writing but not publish them. And also to find a publisher who would give me honest feedback on my script. (I just realized I can type without looking at the keyboard. Yay!!!) 

Also Travel around this city, which, as of now I have no interest in. Maybe take up a hobby, a real one. Or maybe  start painting again. Its been ages since I did that. Photography is also possible, in which case I would have to use Flickr or something. And that will need to be rethought. I also want to visit more people and talk to people more. I might study, and reading is definitely on my agenda. 

I'll cut myself some slack. I don't know If I'll get a reason to come back, or as to when. I might be back in 2 days, or 2 months, or 2 years, or never. But in my current non inebriated state, I don't have a clue.

Take care, I'll miss you 

Keep Smiling :)

M

Growing up

Everyone has a growing up story. I really have short stories, because I was in this growing up phase in different places at different times. But the most important lessons are always learnt at home, no?
As middle class people, my parents didn't have it easy. I don't think many did have it easy in that age, but as parents they never let kids know. I realized it much later once I had the luxury of sitting down and observing life.

As any parent, my parents always wanted me to do well. But it was never stated or drilled into my head that I had to be the top or the best. Marks did matter, but it wasn't like I had to get a hundred. Anything that was a good score was good enough. But what they did instill in me was a sense of not being a brat, and of the importance of honesty. It was important to be courteous to guests, to always offer before taking, to say Thank you and Please, and Sorry. I think the importance and power of these things are lost these days.

There was this one time, when I scored a 9/10 in a class test. I had to get my Dad's sign on the test book. It wasn't something I'd be mortified about, I'd just keep it on the table, and he'd have a look and sign on the way out. But for some reason, I forgot to get his signature. Day 2, ditto. On Day 3, the class teacher makes us all non-sign-getters to stand up and threatens a trip to the headmaster. Now, Junior me, scared as shit, gets a brain wave. He decided to sign it himself!!! So I do it, a ditto forgery, and am saved!!! But, the guilt starts building and building, and by the end of the day, another brain wave. I decide to white-ink the forged signature, and get Dad's original signature. Like a consolation of types.

But when I did show it to Dad, I discovered another thing, That if you look at the back of the page, you see what was "white-inked". Needless to say, I got the whooping of my life. I was in 4th grade.

Have hated that feeling of  "guilt" ever since.

They also taught me to respect and be nice to people, no point hating eh? I took that on a slightly different note, writing my first "appreciation note". In 3rd grade!!! The girls name was Deepti and she was a Punjabi. She had these cat eyes and a very doll-like face. The "note" fell in to the wrong hands, and I have to rate the humiliation as one the top of my embarrassing moments list. I guess that's why am so into "writing " :-)

My mum has always been suggestive in the pursuits I took up. They got me a piano, not because I wanted one or that they wanted me to learn it. But because I used to play a small pencil box piano all the time. They got me basketball classes, because I wanted to get tall and hated the monkey bars in the parks. A Walkman, because that's what other kids had. The only thing I ever asked for would be some or the other kind of toy, before I came to India to complete my studies around 7th grade. Am still fascinated by Lego and remote controlled monster trucks!!!

I got swimming classes, because I loved the beaches ever since I was a baby, they were my favorite haunt. None of my courses were ever chosen by my parents. I have been self reliant through out. The decision to send me off to a hostel must have been very hard on them as it was on me, but today, I can proudly say that I can survive anywhere. I may not want to, but I can. In the whole scheme of things, I've also done public speaking, acting, singing, dancing, painting and photography, the school band all in school and college. Never stuck to anything long enough though.

They've given me a lot more than I could ask for. It's a different thing that I screwed up here and there, but all part of the larger scheme of things - I keep telling myself. They're last worry is  on getting me hitched ASAP. Which I have assured them is not going to happen any time soon.

Of course, having stayed away from them for almost 17 years, I missed out on the Advanced Life handling courses. Like the one where you experience how the world is genereally not very welcoming. Or the one where being selfish is the only way you get what you want. Or the part where it's okay to screw around with people you love/ who love you. And of course when relationships can be turned on and off like a switch, or when a bro can become a non-bro. And where friend is just another button away on a stupid website. (the one which I am super active on)

But then because you have such fundamentals, you're on this path that you hold on to dearly, but so want to dump and experiment. And you're caught in between, which honestly is the worst place to be. But you learn every day, with everyone, and keep it going. We're still growing up.

I owe a lot to my buds who've been a part of very important phases of my life. Guess they're more like true bro's (and female equivalent) than any.

M

Voices

They keep chattering
One after the other
Ideas and complaints
Some funny, some not so clever

Thoughts and Schemes
They let me dream
Pain and senseless banter
Control me, infuriate me

The less they know
The louder they get
Keep doing something
Else they keep going

All the time
Everywhere
One over the shoulder
One behind my ear

They can be friends
They can be Foes
Care to listen,
You can choose to choose

These Voices

M

(PS: Meditation helps, apparently)

Cracking a Job Interview

Everywhere I have been, there has been no shortage of people looking out for a job. Every single place, every single time, there are reasons a plenty to look out. Either the money's not good, or the job's not good, bad bosses, different location preferences, boredom, girlfriend in another town, homesickness, restricted growth, function shifts, graveyard shifts, Saturday working, etc etc

All said and done, no one is ever happy. Except when your nearing gratuity (4.8 months to be eligible) you manage to trudge along, and then its run run run. 

There are a million sites, which give you tips on job interviews. Dress well, polish shoes, perm your hair, Acceptable Jewel standards, Smile, carry near folder, etc etc. There is also the free advice you get from your everyone, don't jump companies, liquor is a bad place, service industry is a tough place to move from, shouldn't negotiate too hard on salary, etc etc.

All said and done, there is only one truth at the start. Getting to the table. Once your at the interview table, its all in your hands.

Bangalore Countdown Day 10

Bangalore Countdown Day 17-11 Read Here

Thanks to some quick reminders, and Foursquare, I remembered a few more places that I frequent, or at least should be frequenting. So, if you'd like you can check out these places below:

Day 10


1.Punjab Grill by Jiggs Kalra, Kormangala

Located opposite to The Forum Mall, Kormangala, is this fine dine restaurant. I have been here just once, but everything about this place is fantastic. When you enter, you're served with towels. (The wipe your face variety)  and there are these lovely sofa / fancy comfy chairs that make you go "AAAAhhhhhh" Then comes an amazing array of food thats like (slurp). Sigh. Interior Decors are awesome. Must try the Mutton Chops, and the Chicken Platter. Booze is available too. The service is prompt, prices on the higher side. However, the place has a mix of crowds, so getting the corner to yourself for a party would be difficult. Go now, and fulfill your palate!!!

2. Blue Bar, The Taj West End, Race Course Road.

I'll be honest, while MY view might be limited, I have been here only twice. And both the instances were accompanied by really good music, food and drink. The Ambience is of a wooden shack (A large one) on the lawns of the property, and you can get drunk on that itself. I don't actually remember the food, but I remember the experience :)  If your ever feeling rich, or already are, or have come upon someone who is, do visit.

No, am not taking you there.


* * *


As I come towards the last few days of Bangalore, or alternatively closer to the first few days in Mumbai (depends on whether you hate me or love me) there is absolutely no sense of nostalgia. Strange. I did the drop in to my previous employers, L'oreal and SAB Miller, and had really good times catching up with people, and of course the sucky reasons for not keeping in touch - "Travelling Saar"

They were happy, and surprisingly not surprised at the news nor of my visit. People have been kind, warm and extremely helpful. Lots of meaningful advice from the ex bosses, the back slapping from friends, and the "how are you? Long time" from people who look familiar, but am not really sure of.


Its a lot of pressure, these expectations.

* * *
M 

The Old Man's friend

A visit to "Daiv'd Mane"(explanation below) in the off hours, or when its not crowded is always an experience. You are either on the edge because of its eerie silence, or in awe of the tranquil sanctity of the place. Heavy wooden beams, Stone floors, the Oil lamps, the cool air, the ring of the bells resonating off the stone sculptures of the Deity's Guards. These are temples of old, not the quick-pray-pay-leave models that have begun to spring up in every nook and corner of modern Metro's. Even the most simplest of these temples in Udupi and its neighboring towns has a profound energy. It makes you want to believe.

One this visit, with my parents, we were pleasantly surprised to find 2 priests in the temple. A younger one, doing his traditional sandhyavandan, and the other an older person, age showing profoundly on him. Years of prayers and service had taken its toll on him, he was easily over 70. He sat leaning on the pillar, smiling at the rare evening visitors, who were obviously from out of town.

My Story

Way back in the hot summer in Udupi '00, I remember the moment I fell in love with Marketing. Sitting on the steps of the Bus Stop, I overheard my senior talk about Advertising. Yes. Advertising.(how it developed into marketing is a long story) It was then that he told me two things. One, Its important that you always learn, but its more important to let others know you're learning (I now think that if you're learning it shows automatically). And two, You know whats best for you, no one else does. And therefore no one else can ever tell you what to do, whether you're right or wrong, or whatever. Cliché? Yes. Effective? Absolutely.

Break it

Tear it, Break it
Throw it out of bounds
Liked it, Loved it,
It Took me down

The noise in my head
Images floating by
Stand by and watch
As things go away

Its blurring
Fading, Cracking
But we move on

Sometimes it ends
To start again
Others just walk over
Smiling through the pain

We still live
We still hope
Give In, Give all
Stop trying to Cope


M

2 Mistakes

He came across as fun and exciting. He was from Bangalore. He seemed to live everything that I always wanted to. Apart from regular small talk there wasn't much that anyone had in common with him. But there was also this aura of "I know what I am doing" around him that was irresistible charming, and which had most of the people flock to him.

Sanctum

Some take a look at old photos, some stare into the emptiness of the night. Some when their blinded by the morning Sun, while others go there in the presence of music. Few drink their guts out to reach there, and some stare at the ceiling fans when they go to sleep. Some go there when surrounded by chaos, some, when there is chatter all around. Auto Pilot switches on, and everything else goes silent.

RIP 2011

Sometimes we walk roads that we think are right, which we have missed out on. But once you begin, there is no turning back. There is never turning back. As you take each step, the world around you changes, and the earth beneath collapses. No one can foresee the future, and no one can undo the past. You can only live today.

Shakespeare makes an entry

Over tea and samosas, he told me to read this verse from Shakespeare. I almost choked on the tea, but managed to keep the samosas in. Not that the samosas or any food had anything to fear once I had'em. Samosas are great way to spend evenings, and that too with that spicy chutney. And those Kachori's with hot tea and warm Jaleb.......wait.

Shakespeare. Yes.

So he told me to read this verse and get back to him with my interpretation of the same. Now I know the conversation we had bordered on past and previous and current endeavors of a romantic kind, but Shakespeare? Seriously? Me? I would have thought a man to man talk would suggest a movie-thon of blood spilling, weapon totting, forest burning, action heroes in dark raining locales. But this was new, and he insisted. And yes, he is the well read types, and yes he is my friend. Yes, I have all sort of friends. No, I can't give you M S Dhoni's phone number.

So when I did this search, this is what came up: (Please don't roll you eyes, even If you don't want to read. Just read the highlighted lines!!! See how much I care for your readership?!)

The quality of mercy is not strain'd,
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath: it is twice blest;
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes:
'Tis mightiest in the mightiest: it becomes
The thronéd monarch better than his crown;
His sceptre shows the force of temporal power,
The attribute to awe and majesty,
Wherein doth sit the dread and fear of kings;
But mercy is above this sceptred sway;
It is enthronéd in the hearts of kings,
It is an attribute to God himself;
And earthly power doth then show likest God's
When mercy seasons justice. Therefore, Jew,
Though justice be thy plea, consider this,
That, in the course of justice, none of us
Should see salvation: we do pray for mercy;
And that same prayer doth teach us all to render
The deeds of mercy. I have spoke thus much
To mitigate the justice of thy plea;
Which if thou follow, this strict court of Venice
Must needs give sentence 'gainst the merchant there.

—Act IV, sc. i

OK, so now this verse is from the "Merchant of Venice" and this particular verse is also called Portia's speech. I read an abridged version in school and to sum it up - This babe gets in court and saves her boyfriend by telling the merchant he can take a pound of flesh (as agreed in the bond between aforementioned Boyfriend) but not a pound of blood. (Smart, no?) But not before making a plea of mercy.

Of Course, the Merchant was bitch-lawyered. You can read the long, winding explanation on Google.

So where do I fit in?

No, No, I haven't signed a bond for flesh. And I don't have a girlfriend doing bargains for my blood (lots that I have) 

You will agree with me, that when we don't get what we want, when we are treated badly by close friends, when you don't get that job, when Apple screws you with no OS updates for old I phones, we go two ways. One, We get angry and jump around (of the Angry Birds ishtyle), scream & throw tantrums and then shut up. Two, we scheme for revenge.You want to Kolaveri-di their asses to hell-u. *smirk* . It then proceeds-u to get messy-u, bitter-u and blood-u all around. No one wins-u. Everyone looses-u. 

Not one to be left behind, I tried. I tried getting angry and jumping around (not easy at 100+ kilos) screaming (thank you sore throat) and shutting up. Dint help. I tried scheming for revenge, the farthest I could go was to not open the door or maybe drop a call. Not very helpful, must say. I care too much.

Anyways, bottom line. Sooner or later, things move on. And living in limbo is more painful. We were discussing the way forward (ugh I hate that power point slide title) it seemed to my friend that things could get brutal. He's been around for quite a while you see, and he's known me for 5 years now. He's got a front narration of the previous scripts, so, yeah. 

So hence his gentle reminder that, you don't need to cut open a vein to sort things out. You can do it graciously, you can do it mercifully, and not load your prejudices and sarcasm tipped arrows at the target. After all, as a friend, being there through thick and thin, is applicable to oneself as well. So, you can walk away with your head held high and not get influenced by choices others make. You can still make it your choice. 

And so...

"The quality of mercy is not strain'd,..."

M

The Plank Man

I sit on the plank
Feet Dangling in the air
Its eerily cold
And the sun is on its way down
Others have boarded
And the sails are torn

There's not much time
And I've had my say
But no one's listening
Should I turn away?
So many choices on the Ship
The plank is Creaking

With a torn Sail
Where will you go?
The sun is setting and its dark
Don't get Lost and broken,
Don't run ashore
Wait some time
And think some more

You're eager to sail
Its a stormy sea
That lies ahead
Its not the journey you should fear
Its the conviction
That it is what you want

Get a new sail, or sail in this
Chase a setting sun or the full moon
You're your own captain
There's no right or wrong
But ensure
That you'll never sail alone

The plank is creaking
The sun is gone
One end is ashore
One end is yours
Sail Away or come ashore
The plank is creaking,
Can't hold on anymore.

M

Loss and Gain

So, I never thought I'd be on a back to back flop show, as much as I would have hoped it would have one positive. I think the last 1.5 years have been the most eventful in my life.

I would love to say this in poem format, but then theres (no apostrophe #INYOURFACE) nothing left to hide. For the first time in my life, I told a person that am crazy about her and got a "no" back. Much better than having a "no" without saying it. That too, just a few months ago I was riled with heartbreak with no closure.(Read previous post here)

And what fun it is, knowing that there are so many undercurrents. Boy like girl. Girl don't know. Girl likes someone else. Gets married to someone else. In between Guy likes someone else. Some one else already in something else. And then someone else likes someone else. And, wait WHAT? *camera pans out* *repeat still-shot thrice in Eastman color* *sad music*

Yep, Ekta Kapoor stole it from me.

So now, where were we?

Ah, telling something to someone. Surprisingly, I haven't lost a drop of my Louuuuuuve. But now its directed at a good buddy. Not a dime less, just more.I feel the just the same, but more happier and more clear. I seem to have gained a lot lot more.

Of course there's nothing wrong in still harboring hope :P

As mentioned elsewhere,things will get better and for everything and anything the lame guy is always there. #beforeIturnawesome

Cheers Buddy!!!

M

PS: Ab tho comment kar.