The Fault in our Thoughts

Fault (verb): In geology, a fault is a planar fracture or discontinuity in a volume of rock, across which there has been significant displacement as a result of rock mass movement.

Dear M,

Indulge me just a bit, in the misuse of fault in the title of the post. For that is what summarises an exceptionally amazing and unique 12 months that have passed. And as I laze around in the first few days of 2017, it is what I will need to remember for the challenges ahead.

Sometimes, it is important to put feelings and experiences into words, lest those feelings get lost in the quicksand of time. And with it, the risk of forgetting all those lessons that one should learn. History has a habit of repeating itself, and while it doesn't happen often with me, one particular chapter keeps repeating again, and again, and off late, again. However, this year I write not of just that chapter that is a recurring theme in my end of the year posts, but of everything else.

The fault in my thoughts. 

The one with What scares you the most ?

A couple of weeks ago I was at Bangalore and found myself in the midst of a most unusual conversation. Most party conversations would include good natured leg pulling, gossip or something else of a more spirited nature, etc unless the first that came to your mind reading the word "party"was to do with any political one in which we case we can't be friends anymore.

Seriously, stop watching Times Now. 

Philippines - The South East Asia Trip Part 4

Read Part 1 - Malaysia

Read Part 2 - Langkawi
Read Part 3 - Singapore


The last part of Trip consisted of landing in Philippines and moving around to different islands, catching the awesome night life and enjoying cheap luxuries.Philippines is seriously quite cheap. But as usual when things can go wrong, they will always go wrong exponentially.

So let me admit my mistake, starting off with basic Geography 101.

Next, Philippines is always at the center point of typhoons, so it would be wise to not go there in the monsoons, unless you really hate yourself or are taking your Ex there on a one way ticket. (Presuming you are coming back) We went there because we probably hated each other.

Anyways, we too were unfortunate enough to catch the rains, and a large part of our trip got busted, including a trip to Coron islands (which got substituted by a one night day complimentary stay at the 0 starr airport) and a dormant Volcano. (Sigh, I know) We missed a freaking Volcano. (Point to note, I and BC were the only two standing on two feet at the point of departure to this venue)

Anyway, the most exciting part of this whole trip is when we were detained at immigration.

----

*Dark Room with lighting only on partial face. Unknown identity asks a a question.*

"I Thought it was easy money. All we had to do was carry a suitcase of drugs across the border, and we would be millionaires. They promised it would all be good. It was supposed to all taken care of. But when they get you, you're all alone"

Locked Up Abroad on National Geographic Channel

---

My mind, dear friends, is a virtual time bomb of thoughts. At any given point of time, I am riding on a sleigh fighting dementors, or could be romancing a noble lady on a stage in Paris. So when I came to know that the airport we were landing at, was a well known hub for all these kind of TV shows, well, all these episodes and dialogues come rushing...

The airport we were landing at, NAIA is rated the worst airport in the world (FYI, Kolkata, Chennai, Mumbai are in the Top 10 worst airports as well). It is also one of the most busiest airports in Asia. T3, the latest terminal is meant only for international flights, so if you land at another terminal from an international flight. Well, God Bless you.

Anyways, we landed at the right airport and were aiming to get Visa on Arrival as we had Singapore Visa's. Let me reiterate, that this is a known hub for drug smuggling and shit, so the officials are always looking for shady characters. And when it comes to shady, no one can beat my 2, eager to please, never traveled abroad alone, half groggy unshaven spectacle wearing Indian friends.

All we had to do was walk to the counter, show them the passport and visa, and the air ticket, and move.

But NO. My dear friends HAD to do some "Khujli". They HAVE to ask the most sternest looking cop some imbecile like questions.

"Sir we don't have Visa" will probably go down as the worst thing ever said to a customs official by a tourist in a foreign airport known for smuggling.

We submitted all our documents to three cops, before a senior cop with 3 stars on her uniform (and looked very much like Farida Jalal ) took us to an inside room. We sat down on comy Sofa's while they kept asking us questions.

Cop 1 to me - What's your name?
Me - Madan

Cop 1 to me - Where are you from?
Me - Bangalore

Cop 2 to BC - Who is he? *points to me*
BC - Madan

Cop 3 to Cop 2 : Sounds like *snicker snicker ha ha gibberish gibberish*
Cop 2 to me : How do you know him? *point to BC*
Me - We are friends

Cop 2 to Me : Who are you?
Me - Madan

All the Cops - "Hmm..."

After 5 minutes

Cop 3 to me - Who are you?
Me - Sigh. Madan

Eventually, after all possible combinations and permutations of who asked whom were done, the grilling was over. I got off because I had a huge Multinational backing my employment, while the other two jokers were employed by a company who had a billboard right in front of the cops, and the cops had never heard of the company. #Facepalm

Finally, we come to know that our return tickets have been cancelled, because the government cancelled the license of the Airlines 2 days ago. #PANIC. Our host meanwhile was pretty sure we were arrested or something because we were 3 hours late, and was all set to call emergency services.

After another good hour more we were let go. And this is picture best explains relief that we felt at that point of time.

Manila is very much like a Mumbai. The only difference is that people here look different and eat different. The Americans have basically changed the whole country during the wars and occupations into a "entertainment" destination for their soldiers based there, so you will see a lot of American influence in the culture. The girls want to marry Americans, the guys want to go to America accept that America doesn't see this place as anything more than a speck.

Its like the famous historian and inter racial cultural expert Russel Peters once said "BESHT Bro, IT IS BESHT. AMERICAN BRO, BESHT"

This has already gone for too long, So I will write one more post on Borocay (Where we swam across the OCEAN in the dead of NIGHT to reach shore) before I conclude the series. Am also planning to put together a Pinterest board of all the stops we made, that might be of interest to you guys.

So here's to then, Merry Christmas.


M

Singapore - The South East Asia Trip part 3

(At this point there can be no excuse for not writing this part of the trip, a good three months after it happened. So I'll ignore verbal abuses and move on like nothing ever happened, or as it's happening in Delhi these days - send you an SMS for your opinion later)

Read Part 1 - Malaysia

Read Part 2 - Langkawi 

Now the third leg of our journey was to the magical city of Singapore. Magical because for some reason, I had made the connection that Mickey Mouse was born here. I know, its ridiculous. We all know that a mouse that big can only be born in Chennai.

We had the good fortune of having a few juniors of BC (yes its a name) in Singapore, which made us more comfortable. Except for the part where my learned friend couldn't figure out how to use a pay phone, a credit card, a travel card, an English speaking Human being and a phone number, to reach his junior waiting outside the airport. Changi Airport is like UB city mall (Bangalore) multiplied by Phoenix mall (Mumbai) with a few airplanes thrown in for free. It is freaking Amazing. I mean I could have roamed the airport for a few days and still returned happy.

You remember the Manforce condom ads? The bill boards and vinyls of the perfumes & Cosmetics here will put Sunny Leone to shame. But in a nice way.

We were hungry so we decided to grab some food at Burger king (Hoooray!!!) since we were hungry, and that is when we realized Singapore is expensive. No kidding. 4 of us and the bill was 42 SGD, which is like 5000 bucks. 

In Singapore, you will be surprised to see that Tamil is the second language after English. I have no idea they pulled this off, and am pretty sure the Malayalis are pissed. So now you know why Rajnikanth's third largest Fan base after the Aliens, and Tamil Nadu is in Singapore. 

And here's a good warning. Am not sure, but I think its compulsory for women to wear shorts, and that too no longer than 6 inches, so guys please. No Staring. You have the Google Incognito mode for that. But on a serious note, they do dress very very well both professionally / casually so its a kind of a learning in trends. If you are into that kind of stuff. 

We stayed at Little India, which is basically a small section of Singapore where most of the "Asians" live. The Taxi guys hate it, the citizens hate it, almost everyone hates it. Am not being over sensitive. In a city which has banned chewing gum to keep the city clean, I saw Indian people peeing on the roads, at which point I promptly started conversing in French. #TrueStory

Me an Po Sharing a laugh at these other
mortal humans at Universal

Anywhoos, we got a decent hotel in this place, and trust me if you are on a budget, this is the only area where you can manage to be on a budget. On the itinerary was Universal Studios, The Singapore flyer, Marina Bay Sands hotel & Casino, Sentosa Islands and this cool underwater sea place (which we got confused with in Sentosa and missed) All travel is via metro, which is extremely convenient.

Am not going to write much about Sentosa Islands, its basically a large park which houses different sections, one of which is the Universal Studios. Universal Studios was my first time to a theme park, with rides and stuff. I was very apprehensive about it. As a kid the only ride I went on was the merry-go-round, and that too holding on to the pole for dear life. 

You keep fish in between your fingers, and she
swoops up your arm and sucks it off. Amazing

But man, these rides were totally awesome!!! The Merchandise even better!!! Highly recommended rides - the Mummy and Transformers. And here's the trick. If you go as a group, you need to wait in a huge line. But if you go in the single line you can go all the way to the front and they will accommodate you in any seat / trailer. Debi went 10 times to the Mummy ride, and by the 11th time they offered him a job and a hat. He declined because the Transformer guys offered him food instead. 

I however was more enamored by the park itself and the detailing. And the merchandise. It isn't worth the price, but please buy it if you love it. And another trick - carry Master card. They have awesome offers on Master card. Not so much on Visa.

We were back by the End of Day and were exhausted. The next day we went to another part of Sentosa, which was the water world. My highlight of the Singapore trip was this - I fed and touched a 8 foot Stingray!!! I love animals. And I also hate humans who can't take a decent photograph (all the numb skulls who traveled with me) 

The View from the Singapore Flyer - Marina Bay Sands Hotel
and the Bay area

Apart from that, we caught the Singapore Flyer, one of the largest in the world. The view from the top is amazing, and I highly recommend that you go at night to catch the lights. 

We also took a long walk around the beautiful Marina Bay, caught the lovely laser show that is done from the top of the hotel on to the water fountains below (check my You Tube channel for the video) and met Mommy and junior Merlion. (Papa Merlion for some reason is at Sentosa) There's also this huge Uber rich looking mall with all the brands that you can think off, including Ferrari cars and Ducati. The restaurants lining the bay look so good and luxurious, that I felt quite intimidated by the mere thought of trying one of them. (Remember Burger king story?)

With Jr. and Mummy (Back)
 Merlion

I have now forgotten all the fantastic comic opportunities and stories, but I must tell you this. We were at Singapore for 2 nights, and we made the absolute Maximum of the time. It was by far the most expensive part of the whole trip, so I suggest you plan appropriately. 

I've promised myself that I will finish the series this year. 2 more posts to go!!!

M

The Old Man's friend

A visit to "Daiv'd Mane"(explanation below) in the off hours, or when its not crowded is always an experience. You are either on the edge because of its eerie silence, or in awe of the tranquil sanctity of the place. Heavy wooden beams, Stone floors, the Oil lamps, the cool air, the ring of the bells resonating off the stone sculptures of the Deity's Guards. These are temples of old, not the quick-pray-pay-leave models that have begun to spring up in every nook and corner of modern Metro's. Even the most simplest of these temples in Udupi and its neighboring towns has a profound energy. It makes you want to believe.

One this visit, with my parents, we were pleasantly surprised to find 2 priests in the temple. A younger one, doing his traditional sandhyavandan, and the other an older person, age showing profoundly on him. Years of prayers and service had taken its toll on him, he was easily over 70. He sat leaning on the pillar, smiling at the rare evening visitors, who were obviously from out of town.