Flying in Indian Skies

(Language and content warning.)

The first time I took a flight, or to be put more appropriately a wailing me was buckled down in the seat, was when I was in the 4th grade. Well, that was the first time I remember it at least.

It was Gulf Air, with pretty air hostesses in golden scarves who handed out toys to kids and took some of them along to the cockpit to meet the captain. This was of course before Laden and his cronies decided to fuck up everything and the chances of me ever getting to accomplish my wishes in this lifetime. (No, Not meeting the captain, the toys.)

Toys are now called collectibles when adults buy them. FYI. 

Malaysia Ahoy!!! - The South East Asia Trip Part 1

This year I was able to keep up a promise to myself to travel ever year to some place new and different. As much as I tried to present an international image by checking into foreign locales on Free WiFi, there's so much that happened, so many experiences, that I feel the need to document it. In case someone wants to make a movie on me or something. (Hey you never know)

Theres a lot of stuff, but I'll try to keep it as interesting and amusing as possible, which basically means I'll talk all about the shit the other three do. (Imma Good Boy)

Mandatory self Identification photo before trip

As a disclaimer, and to protect the identity of Debi, Bc and Vc I will refrain from naming the guys who came with me on this trip of *Beep* *Beep* *Beep* and all the food, sightseeing and entertainment.

I will also for the first time be able to put up videos of the trip, and that will be through my YouTube Channel which I will name shortly.

We started our trip from Bangalore where we flew to Kuala Lumpur, and then from there to Langkawi. This was followed by a 3 day jump to Singapore, and then to the Philippines where we went to Manila and Borocay.  Coron islands was also on the list, but typhoons made sure that our trip was cancelled. 

Through our the trip we've had miserable situations and brilliant come backs, and you won't believe me if I said we got detained in Immigration, walked in the middle of the ocean, got into Bar fights and more. And still got back safely, except for a little fever I caught due to exhaustion. 

So on departure from Bangalore, one of us was a first time traveler to foreign lands. This is the same guy who was considered as a beacon of good luck for anyone who wanted to travel abroad. Every person who has stayed with him (including me) has been posted "on site" (Software Engineering terms for getting posted in USA with normal Dollar salary but when it is converted to rupee I become rich and can buy a flat in Bangalore) or traveled abroad. 

He was as excited as a smoked up monkey in a room full of ripe bananas, and as soon as we boarded the plane I heard stuff like "Oh my God, look!!! More Humans" and "We are going out of the country!!! Do they know yet?" and of course "Shit, I've arrived in life". Of Course Debi, the veteran Package tour travel specialist was busy snoring so loud that the pilot had to check if everything was alright with the engines. And I was busy making up these jokes for the blog, so you know who's left right? 

It was a difficult flight majorly be cause the seats were uncomfortable. That's what happens when you put a XXL ass into a Economy seat. But enough about those guys. We slept and awoke and slept and awoke before I finally got some shut eye. 

I was rudely awoken to "OH MY GOD, Kuala Lumpur has lights!!!" and "Look at the runway, its better than our roads in Sarjapur" etc. just as we touched down in the LCC Terminal in Kuala Lumpur.

There are two things you should know about the KL Airport. For all you "Foreign country is amajing" this airport requires you to walk all the way to the terminal from the airplane. There are no Air conditioned buses awaiting to ferry your merry ass to the terminal. Also there must be some 160 odd spots for planes to land, so that basically meant I could watch HIMMATWALA and recover by the time I reached the Terminal.

Just a few of the Air Asia Jetliners

The other thing about LCC KL airport, is that its isn't an airport. Its actually the Air Asia Exhibition center. For miles and miles across all you will see, are Air Asia Planes. Trust me, every thing that flies there has an Air Asia tag. And pretty sure half the country works for them. Not that am complaining with all the air hostesses around. 

Anyways, once we were in we decided to hit the streets and visit the Petronas towers. You know, those twin towers that were once the tallest towers before Burj Al Arab came into being and Al-Halal-ed every other building on Planet Earth. Now the tricky part was we had 5 hours in which to reach this place and come back. 

So we took a convenient Bus (Air conditioned and with recliner seats) for the one hour journey to KL Central. From there we took a taxi (around 15 minutes) to the Petronas towers. It was closed, but we did get into the compound. 

The twins were just beautiful. You don't really get a sense of the size and how magnificent and powerful these structures really are, until you get your nose right up to it and look up. Just, Freaking Amazing. 

I was so caught up that I just didn't really make the max of my camera. Also, there were these huge flood lights right bang at eye level, so no matter how I tried I just kept getting this huge glare at the bottom of my screen. 

But trust me, It definitely looks far better at night than in the morning. The splendor of a fully lit Petronas must be something really worth taking in. Unfortunately for us, it wasn't one of those days.

Its moments like these that I want to abandon people

After a few...err...okay a lot of  "Me with Petronas, Me with Malaysia sign board" etc type photos, we decided to head back. On the way we made a quick detour to visit the National Mosque of Malaysia. It was beautiful but we didn't get any decent picture that would be worthy of its grandeur.

Also we were worried of missing our next flight to Langkawi.

Once back at the airport, we had to get used to the different ways the airport operates. Here you need to check in on the machines, and then go to the counters to drop off luggage, and then wait in the expansive lounge before walking across miles and miles to reach the airplane.

One thing which caught us off guard was the women cops at the security check. And they do check men as well. And they yell. LOUDLY. So we didn't know that "Belts" were also to be taken off before running under the scanner. So I had this lady cop YELL at me to take off my belt and come back. It wasn't a very "Shades of Grey" type scenario that I'd have fond memories of either. Lets just leave it at that.

In the next post, expect more of how we took Langkawi by storm, had Laksa, and almost ran away in the middle of the morning from our Hotel.

Cheers 

M

Prey 2

(Cont'd from Prey, Recommend you read it)

He was seated comfortably at the recliner, watching her intently. And the show that was unfurling.

"How the hell did this person get in?!" the supervisor yelled at her, pushing an unassuming looking person out of the gate.

She was caught unawares. She suddenly got back into attention, her eyes moving from the kid to her supervisor. Her fingers instinctively played behind her back. Which was more to do with her feminine response than that of a trained CAIF personnel.

"Sir, I was at that end, I didn't see..." she mumbled

"PRECISELY!!! You didn't see. You weren't paying attention and people walk in from the side gates, the ones which you are manning!!!" said the supervisor. His dark Moustache twitching as he stood to his full 6'3 heights, obviously enjoying the spot in which he had caught her napping.

" Sir magar,..." she switched to Hindi, hoping to get to a more emotive level.

" Do your work and stop dancing around!!!" said the supervisor, as he turned around and marched back into the security check area.

She looked down and waited for him to vanish. The only person who had the authority to pull her up for any misdemeanor was her reporting officer. She checked the revolver at her side, which was secured by a clasp that made it secure, no smarty could pull it out without her knowing. Of course, if she let the so said individual come up so close.

He smiled. He had seen one of the top security forces in the country so easily distracted. He thought it was a good moment to utilize.

At that very moment, she noticed him. He sat in the front row. He wore a prayer cap, wore spectacles which were probably a guise, and had a long flowing beard. He was dressed in a flowing white kurta over a dark blue jeans. He was reaching for something in black back pack, and was in the process of standing up. He had a nasty scowl on his face.

She had just been reprimanded on letting in non passengers into the waiting area. Maybe there were others, she had the right to check against a boarding pass.

"SIR!!! Can I see you ticket please", she called out.

No response. The man was still reaching for his Black bag.

"SIR, I need to see your boarding pass or ID, now please" She called out again as she moved towards him.

The man stood up, without looking at her, and his bag was now in front of him, one hand in the bag reaching for something.

"SIR, I NEED TO SEE YOUR PASS NOW" She raised her voice, now hardly 10 feet from him.

He looked up at her. His brow was sweaty, and his face showed panic, as he brought his bag with his  arm inside it to a full stop right in front of him, almost taking aim.

Her instincts took over. In a flash, the clasp was off, the security lock released and the revolver in her hand pointed right at him, shouting out loud, "SIR STOP", The 'SIR' not leaving her manners even at this point.

The man panicked, the bag fell off his arm, exposing the black devise that was gleaming.

She Fired. It hit him right in the chest. The Second shot took hardly a second, and as he reeled back from impact, the bag fell from his arm. Blood spurted from the shot as he collapsed without a gasp.

His camera tumbled on to the floor. His Press ID hanging from the back of the camera, now covered in blood.

The next day, the headlines screamed the violent side of the CAIF, and how an innocent press reporter was shot in the airport for behaving suspiciously and trying to take unauthorized photos

M

Prey

The Airport was hot. And everyone was busy fanning themselves and gulping down water from expensive branded bottles, the same brands that would have been available for half the price outside the Airport. Apparently the authorities felt it was ok to fleece people who come within the property of the NAI.

After the recent attacks, security was tight. The CAIF was manning every major entry and exit but in the sea of suits and salwars, they looked completely out of place in their army fatigues. Every one of them was armed with either an AK-something or a pistol. Some had stars, some had berrets, some had nothing. They checked everyone's papers and their photo id's before letting them in. You could say they had become almost mechanical.

But her eyes were watchful, marking each and everyone against their said positions on the map in her mind. Years of training and practice had made her strong and tough. Or so she thought.

Her features revealed nothing. She had dark eyes that were accentuated by the Kajal, her short hair tied in a neat bun. The Blush was colour coordinated to her lip gloss, and went well with her fair skin, making her look beautfiul, the very reason she blended in. Her clothes were designed to ensure minimal obstruction in case things went wrong, and in this case every moment was critical. She had to be alert.

She stood at the lesser fortified entrances, looking around as any passenger would. Only, she wasn't just another passenger. It was monotonous, having to wait and watch, as others also fell into the play. The game twas meant for more of their kind to fall prey to the wile and evil scheming minds of their handlers. She began fiddling with her buttons.

Soon enough, she was distracted by the baby girl. She smiled at the kids antics, who, unaware of all the hostility around her, made it a point to dance around the whole floor, walk up to anyone and everyone and gurgle a wide smile, proudly showcasing her single tooth. For a moment, the airport became a huge play ground for the kid, and everyone, irrespective of caste, creed or religion felt obliged to smile. This went on for some time and slowly but surely, she was loosening up. She was intrigued, and was looking keely for the child's parents, who strangely didn't seem to be too worried about their child's whereabouts. She continued watching.

Unknown to her, someone else was watching her, and rattled off some instructions into the walkie talkie.

(To be cont'd)

M

Flight 6E

The announcement was weird. The flight name was a play on the word "Sexy", which was shamelessly self patronizing. "Oh so Pretty..." their current ad campaign said and it was exactly what their hostesses looked liked. Leaving the Reds far behind, these chic looking ladies trotted around the airports in precise unison, and made him ponder if this was some kind of marketing gimmick. He never did like Red.

His attention was diverted by the guy shuffling back from the front to the back of the serpentine Que, a rare event in Indian Airports. He had missed his security stamp on the backpack, which meant going all the way back to security checking. These airports were full of characters, people from all parts of the country merging in large cold, heartless auditoriums, to be flown to different sister auditoriums. What broke the monotony, was either the shrill shriek of a baby, or a good book. In this case, in spite of both , his mind floated amongst the crowds of tops and short skirts, Skinny Jeans and tight T shirts with no purpose, with no intent.