The Plank Man

I sit on the plank
Feet Dangling in the air
Its eerily cold
And the sun is on its way down
Others have boarded
And the sails are torn

There's not much time
And I've had my say
But no one's listening
Should I turn away?
So many choices on the Ship
The plank is Creaking

With a torn Sail
Where will you go?
The sun is setting and its dark
Don't get Lost and broken,
Don't run ashore
Wait some time
And think some more

You're eager to sail
Its a stormy sea
That lies ahead
Its not the journey you should fear
Its the conviction
That it is what you want

Get a new sail, or sail in this
Chase a setting sun or the full moon
You're your own captain
There's no right or wrong
But ensure
That you'll never sail alone

The plank is creaking
The sun is gone
One end is ashore
One end is yours
Sail Away or come ashore
The plank is creaking,
Can't hold on anymore.

M

Loss and Gain

So, I never thought I'd be on a back to back flop show, as much as I would have hoped it would have one positive. I think the last 1.5 years have been the most eventful in my life.

I would love to say this in poem format, but then theres (no apostrophe #INYOURFACE) nothing left to hide. For the first time in my life, I told a person that am crazy about her and got a "no" back. Much better than having a "no" without saying it. That too, just a few months ago I was riled with heartbreak with no closure.(Read previous post here)

And what fun it is, knowing that there are so many undercurrents. Boy like girl. Girl don't know. Girl likes someone else. Gets married to someone else. In between Guy likes someone else. Some one else already in something else. And then someone else likes someone else. And, wait WHAT? *camera pans out* *repeat still-shot thrice in Eastman color* *sad music*

Yep, Ekta Kapoor stole it from me.

So now, where were we?

Ah, telling something to someone. Surprisingly, I haven't lost a drop of my Louuuuuuve. But now its directed at a good buddy. Not a dime less, just more.I feel the just the same, but more happier and more clear. I seem to have gained a lot lot more.

Of course there's nothing wrong in still harboring hope :P

As mentioned elsewhere,things will get better and for everything and anything the lame guy is always there. #beforeIturnawesome

Cheers Buddy!!!

M

PS: Ab tho comment kar.

Bye Bye Letter

Though this would be published well after it is due, it's been on my mind for quite some time. You see, most of the important things have a place in history. Or timeline as Facebook would want us to call it. But the point is, I have either managed to keep it away from you, or been incompetent to let you know by way of my actions.I have additional conspiracy theories, having to do with world domination, leather pants and others, but lets not go there.

Apart from my naivety with love as it is with women, you have managed to remain an enigma even to date. Your smile still makes me smile, your chit chats still keep me guessing, and your sense of confusion at your own simplicity/complexity amuses me. Our first conversation had to do with a certain kind of snack (divine intervention?) ,Of course I remember what it was that you said, as surely as I know that you wouldn't have a clue. Recalling it here, would be a complete giveaway nonetheless.

When I fell for you, what made it difficult was, that it was within the walls of a corporate environment I had just joined, and away from the support system that I had so carefully built around me. You see, its not like its not happened before, but past failures only made me more determined, and then you happened and it became this beautiful big mess. Like Sambhar. *Sigh*

So while I mustered the courage, trying to keep in sync with your complexities,the 'me' got lost and went overboard in trying to impress you. Over Cocktails and Coffee a desperate attempt was made to know you, and days spent in pondering over your giggles for hints. But as you know, you were in your own turmoils then, and I just pretended I didn't know.

You really drove me up the wall sometimes. Empathy is something you absolutely are not good at, and you have the attention span of a butterfly, or whatever is shorter. Sure, in your defense I never said anything, but maybe if you looked over your shoulder, in between the yes-no-maybe-sigh-off thing you were on, you could've made it out. You're really smart you know.

Over time, when I decided to finally give it a shot, you threw some photos at me, which threw me into a downward spiral. Those Pink Floyd / Trance music video type spirals. And that was that. I must say that cabin boy saved me from having to make an awfully hard decision. And I would have given it up hadn't it been for the aforementioned cabin boy's last minute plan. So guess I owe him.

And then there are the gadzillion things in between which have been discussed in fine detail over bottles of malted barley and fermented grain and what not with willing and unwilling ears.(at First willing, and then unwilling)

There's no running away from these "one sided " things. You know that rubbish about Emotional Quotient and all that jazz. All Rubbish. The response has just been delayed, like a rubber band stretching itself. It will rebound some day somewhere. People told me to effect "closure" by telling you about it. But I blogged about it. Better chances, I tell myself.

To say I am not bitter sometimes, is a lie. But Yes, that you will do well for yourself is something I wish and hope will come true.

Bottom line, is that I am at peace.There's not much buzz anymore and you've revamped yourself. Things have moved on. I won't say its the end of a chapter. Stories live on long after the books are closed. I will still miss you as a dear dear friend, whom I sadly didn't spend enough time with.

So now, can effectively say "been there done that". Again.

Trying to get back to that happy street puppy feeling you keep talking about.

M

Morality and more such nonsense

I come back to the same question. Is doing the right thing really that important? The right thing comes to me as naturally as crotch grabbing comes to Michael Jackson (his own or otherwise). Yet I don't feel right after years of what I thought was sensible, morally acceptable living. The world, for some unfathomable reason, doesn't seem to revolve around me.

I'll say Hi

I won't walk up to give you a Hi
Doesn't mean I didn't see you from the corner of my eye
Smile I might, perhaps a little shy
But its not attitude, you've just got me a little high

Sooner or Later, we will meet
And at my nervous best, I shall be
I will mumble and fumble,but I will be true
I can't help it. Am stuck on to you

Once we talk, I'll make you laugh
Maybe we'll click, maybe not
But then I wouldn't be here, If  I wasn't sure
One look, and I'll know, were going to rock!!!

By now were close, hanging out
I'll think and think, there creeps a doubt
Maybe your thinking, wondering too
Is this the one, give me a clue

And here it comes the time to decide
you'll look at choices, you'll have the time
Hope against hope, you'll make up your mind
And keep it from me, you'll expect me to understand

So its happened before, its true I've gone numb
I don't bother asking, its been more than some
I've lost faith, I've made up my mind
There's nothing to do when things unwind

You'll keep acting, pretending its fine
Or maybe it was just me all the while
I won't be bitter, I won't cry
I'll wish you well, and hug you good bye

Another day, as time flies by
I'll even walk up to give you a Hi
Smile I might, perhaps a little coy
But its not for you, its for the lovely one by my side

M

Formula One - Ra One Fever

First of all am not an F1 Fan. I don't even understand the sport, though all the "Excitement" that the newscaster on Sports center manages by hustling in her seat has caught my attention. I do remember a classmate of mine in college,  who listed F1 as a sport she followed seriously, which made the rest of us roll our eyes. Its only when she let loose a barrage of statistics like her favorite driver Michael Shoe maker , Smuch maker, Schumacher that we all shut up. And avoided her.

Visakhapatnam to Vijayawada

So another of my official visits takes me to a new locale, the lovely city of Vizag, aka Visakhapatnam. Its funny cos, a couple of months ago, a friend of mine who was a regular to this place asked me over a beer as to where it was , and I said Tamil Nadu. My other smart friend said Kerala. Figures I scored bad at Geography.

Peace and Love

How long is long,

How long is right

When do you know,

To quit or to fight?

Feeling so tired,

Life isn't fair

But you know that already

Is it so bad to despair?

Its you vs them

Them vs someone else

That is where it ends

How much longer?

The trophy beckons
So much at stake
Yet each time, leaves me broken
Someone takes it away

I keep quitting, keep her at bay
No more aches, no more tries
When the time finally comes
I shall find, what deserves to be mine


M

The Coffee Shop Characters

The following post is a work of fiction.Any resemblance to you, your friends or relatives is purely tough luck. Nonetheless, if you feel offended you can sue the Coffee Shop.

Characters you'll meet at random coffee Shop:

1. The Regulars: This one comes into the coffee shop as if he owns the place. He'll nod his head at the cashier as if they actually know him, and won't place his order until they ask him. He'll smile and joke with the staff, and look at all the women as if they were in his Harlem. Eventually, he'll walk out waving at the staff, who are totally confused.

Here come the Parents

Yes Guys, they're coming. After 2 false alarms and multiple rounds of emotional negotiations, the parents are arriving on 16th. In the event that I never return to this blog, please come looking for me, as I might either be married off to some "good, homely girl" or be in one of the "the eligible bachelor" carnivals, roaming and being displayed from house to house to the parents of aforementioned females.

Apart from steeling myself from having 50% chance of seeing a lot of photos of women

Angry Birds go on fast

BREAKING NEWS: 

In startling developments, The Favorite of jobless people world over,  the Angry Birds, have now gone on an indefinite fast. Millions of users around the world are now finding it extremely difficult to cope without the angry birds, as having to use Chrome for actually searching rather than pretending to search is becoming job threatening. Medical Institutions have reported a 15% drop in patients with squinting eyes and thumb numbness, warning that numbers could go higher, destabilizing the app world.

When contacted, The Mighty Eagle,

The Story Book 3 - In Between

Pre Read
The Story Book 1 
The Story Book 2

While everyone was aware that Murali was around, I felt his presence more than anyone. After all we were two opposite's drawn together by the same differences. I remember having told him on my roof top one day that we are destined to come together and keep fighting. Nonetheless, my goal was to stay away from him, and to not get involved with anything remotely starting with a Mu

From then till now

Started with a note, ended with a cry
And then all joined, make fun of the short guy

Then there was a painter, but had to cross the sea
That left innocent tears, and memories

Soon it was school, the nicknames just fade
Who really bothers, at that time and age

Then it got serious, a deal was made
A Stone reached out for the Sun, an outsider made hay

Blood was shed, none could be seen
The Sun ran away, life was mean

And then another and another, sense prevailed
Some were anchors, and others just derailed

And a voice was heard, and heard it remained
reasons unknown, it went as it came

A shoulder was given, an ear for a tear
Time healed a wound, and opened another near

A word was said, a cookie shared
But remained memorable moments, here and there

Before one ends the other starts,
And before it starts, it too ends.

And so it goes, and so it is said

From then till now,
A Heart lost to the head.

M

Sidelines and more

Continuing from my previous post (more of a drunk slurry rant actually), I reflect and see that there may be a thing or two I missed.

When someone takes to the sideline strategy, you are aware of the risk you're taking. In fact more than anyone, you know that chances are that if the strategy goes on for too long, you probably are gonna get cut off.

Again, the sideline strategy is one of the few final measures, one that is used best as a quick short term thing, and by a very close friend.

However, the sideline strategy is sometimes not just administered to help someone contemplate and reflect, or correct something ,or giving some personal space. It is also a SACRIFICE. A supreme one at that.

People move from center court to the sidelines to make way for someone else, who can do much more than what they can. However, unlike in sport,in life you cannot be sure that you get back in or are able to influence a result in your favor.

It's left to the trust and faith you have in life and a higher power to get you back in the center, or to help you find a new court.

Sometimes you realize that you were in the wrong court from the word go.

Letting someone go for their own good, is the most painful and noblest thing a friend can do.

To nobility, Cheers!!!

M

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

In the sidelines

We all consider ourselves as good friends, always there for our best buds and others as well.

There are times when you laugh with them, and cry with them, yell at them and of course beat the crap out of them. It's all part of the gift of friendship.

But as my readers would agree, the toughest is when you have to let them go free, let them find their way out because no one else can.

Like a coach in the sidelines you edge them on, cheering their victories and letting them learn from their falls. For their own good. Sometimes pain brings a lot of learning and wisdom, which no one else can impart.

And while you play the role of devils advocate, standing at the sidelines, someone comes around and inadvertently hits the right spot with you friend, whom you so tried to protect.

In a moment your not relevant, your not the first choice, and your not the first one on the speed dial.

What you painfully did looks like torture, and all of a sudden the silent judgment is passed that you've been insensitive and selfish. Reminds me of how Rocky was treated by his protege in Rocky 4.

And thats where it ends. From the high pedestal, to waiting in the sidelines, for ever more.

It's been too many sidelines, and too less for me in my sidelines.

Sometimes it's like a corner of darkness, in the sidelines...





- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

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Mumbai, Marine Drive and Vada Pav

My close friends know that I have Mumbai-phobia. For a very old reason, the place terrifies me, in fact the possibility of having to travel by " the local trains" will ensure I don't board the flight in Bangalore, or even catch the meru cab to the airport. None the less, Mumbai is very different, very welcoming, and has a culture that is very different from most cities in India, and this is visible from the moment the plane touches down on the runway. (example follows later)

So I got this opportunity to attend a workshop that was important and last-minute enough to have me land in Mumbai on 25th Aug. Unlike other trips, this had nothing to do with asking people why they drink liquor, or why a shop sold liquor, where's my liquor,etc

Of Heart Attacks and ICU Escapades!!!

First up, I am perfectly alright, my heart is in great shape and this has been ratified by one of the leading cardiac surgeons in Bangalore. Second, if you are still concerned, you can send me cash, expensive electronic equipment(I Phone 4, I Pad, Mac books..) and goodies to make me feel better. Third, if any of you good folks speak to me again in a manner that resembles speaking to a man on his death bed, I shall sue you.

Life's still a bitch

Forewarning Dear Readers / Subscribers. This is rant, a follow up on my previous one.. You can choose to read and curse me, or delete and skip.

Pre read - You know, Life's a bitch and Snakes and Ladders. You can know more about my rants by searching for ramblings under labels and reading the last few posts under it. Which shall warn me that I have a potential stalker at hand. (Am just humoring myself that someone would go through all the trouble)

Anyways, there was this one time when I wasn't there for someone very important. Very, Very Important. And the poor buddy of mine got actually beaten up, with me watching. Doing nothing. I guess in a way I have never gotten over it, and till day I regret it.

So I had decided that I would never let anything of that sort happen again. I would be there for my friends. And I can honestly and shamelessly say, that till date, I have. Its a different thing that there are some people who forget you once they are off and sailing in a different boat, any ways its not a bother.

My Point in this post is, the frustration when you don't have a solution to someones problem. You don't know what you can do, you don't know if what you do can create more trouble, and most of all, if you are the problem and are not realizing it.

                

 VS. 

Aquarians have two major weaknesses. One they are not very good with emotions. They may love someone with all their heart, yet they will never be able to express it. On the other hand, they hate someone enough to kill them, yet will tolerate them on a daily basis. The Second weakness is that they look very normal on the surface. Deep down they live a life of daily conflict with their principles and the urge to break free from monotony.

I am an Aquarian.And believe me when I say this, Life is a bitch. Its frustrating to see friends move away. Its frustrating not being able to help a friend. Its even more frustrating to have to adapt to this every year, and live with the fact that its going to happen again. It hurts because we can't live without people around us. And we are quick to get attached to people!!!

I sometimes wonder if I am a nut case. I really do. I wonder if something happens to me, would any of the people I so care about bother? I pride myself on not having given people reason to hate me, unless its my nature they hate.I keep dreaming that someday I will find someone who'd be the missing link. There have been many false alarms in the past and some are in process, but you never know. Now I am ranting. Sheesh, think about thinking this way every minute!!!

Anyway, I have by know forgotten the point of this post, but its made me feel better. So there.

To all my boy and girl pals, I love you loads!!!

M

Travelling to Ladakh - Leh Part 2

You might want to start with the previous post in this article, at Travelling to Ladakh - Leh

So where was I ?, Ah Manali!!! Well to be honest its a nice town, nestled on the top of the hills, giving you a nice view of the entire town. However, I must say that the fame of the town is quite exaggerated. It is a beautiful place none the less, but I have seen better down South.

It was important for us to make the trip from Delhi to Manali and then Ladakh to get accustomed to the weather. Its not easy to adapt to the thinner air in the mountains, and we in spite of the road trip, had a tough time adjusting.

Anyways, we left for Ladakh, on an Toyota Innova at 2 Am in the night. 20 minutes on the ghats and a couple of horses later trouble stuck. The ice was melting on the roads, making it very sludgy. This was a bigger problem as the roads were under construction and everything was dug up. We must of got out at least 4 times to push and once with the help of the car behind us before the driver's side-winding nerve-racking tyre-burning tricks got us stuck in the sludge.

We then hitch hiked a cattle truck to reach across the major section of the road, before the road got blocked.

4 Am at Rohtang Pass may not sound amusing, with the cold and all, but when you get to see the sunrise amongst snow capped mountains and the morning mist, there are no words to describe it. Take a look at the snaps on the right!!!

Unfortunately, or in hindsight fortunately we got the chance to soak in the beauty of the Rohtang pass, were alternatively if things had gone well we would have missed the beautiful snow covered peaks of Rohtang and instead would have sped by in the darkness of the night.

We were stuck in the pass till about 10AM, by when the roads were dry and excavators were brought in to push away all the soft mud. But our vehicles tyres were so burned out, that it just wasn't going ahead. Finally after some 10 people put their hands on it, did the vehicle actually move ahead. This delay cost us time and later money as well, as we dint have time to drive back and had to fly instead.

I will skip all the sites in between, and head directly to Sarchu Base Camp. Because we got delayed, we had to make camp at a site in Sarchu. Though apparently a village, the only thing we saw was an army installation and two base camps. The camps are well set up, each tent with its one bathroom, a general kitchen and food, with good clean beds and blankets.

Its a few hours before this camp that the thin air got to us, and the head pounding began. Its the worst feeling in the world. You cant sit, stand, talk or do anything. Your head just keeps banging and banging. The solution? Chewing on Garlic, and Mint tea. I have since fallen in love with Mint Tea. Amazing!!!

We left in the morning after feeling better, and continued the journey. We had our lunch at Pang, which hosts the second highest transit army camp in the world. Till we reached Ladakh, we had a tyre puncture and another road block, before we actually reached Ladakh.

More on the Ladakh and Leh Sight Seeing in the next post!!!

M

Being Good is Being Mediocre

The other day, it struck me that people talk about only one kind of people. These are the ones that are clearly skewed towards one end of normalcy. Either totally bonkers or totally Einstien-tatious.

Think about it, who are you constantly talking about. The mad, psychotic boss of yours? Or is that awfully handsome chap on the next floor? Who do your gal pals talk about, hmmm? Yes, its true. Its the extremes that get all the honey!!!