The one with Wazir, Chess & Khwaja Bhai

What an eventful week! If you asked me last Saturday how the next week would be, I'd probably go "Meh". But yesterday, I was exploring bikes to buy, rides to take, and reactivated all my Travel group pages on Facebook. It's been a long time since I rode a bike, an unexplainable rush when you run down open roads with the wind in your hair (in my case, skull), the sun shining down and glorious nature in all its splendor.

More on the travel story in a follow up post. I miss my Unicorn. Wish I had got it to Mumbai. 

The Truth behind the SRK Controversy

As you may have heard recently, King Khan has been asked to shift home base to across the border in case he felt unsafe in India. This invitation came from a leader of a organization of "questionable"* repute*

( Repute* refers to "media"/"Don't-kill-me-am-quoting-Wikipedia" lingo for an organization that has been  marked as a terrorist outfit by USA, UK, Russia, Australia, European Union, United Nations and the leader who has a 10 million dollar bounty on his head in one of those US Terrorist Bucket lists.

*Questionable refers to his patrons who STILL say there is no proof against him and that they cannot arrest him. These are the very same patrons who said we are fighting terror and are absolutely sure that Osama was not hiding there, till the US came and shot Osama bin Laden in their own back yard)

Sorry for the detour. Where was I? Ah yes SRK shifting and all.

Honestly if this offer had come after Ra One, I wouldn't of thought twice of packing this fellow off, just for putting us through that scene with Arjun Rampal. Yes, "that" scene. But the songs were Okay, and I had good laughs for a few months, so you are forgiven.

In midst all this controversy, in comes the now famous for his foot-in-mouth comments, the inferior interior minister who says he is concerned about SRK's safety. To put in mildly - Why don't you sniff up who's blowing up people in your own country instead of worrying about our citizens, eh? Are you seriously saying that of all the people who elected you as a politician (God alone knows why) in your country, you are bothered about a celeb in our country? Very Suspicious, wouldn't you say?

Also, the minister says he wants to remind us and I quote, "I would like to request all Indian brothers and sisters and all those who are talking negative way about Shah Rukh, they should know he is a movie star."

Umm...Yes you Idiot, he is a movie star. We've seen from his stuttering days to his current stretch-my-arms-and-romance days. However, may I remind you, he is an Indian first. Also, we are not your brothers and sisters, at least am not. How about you pay a little more attention to all the "negative" shit you guys are doing at the LOC, before you come barging in on Bollywood like you barge in across the border every now and then?

Come to think of it, I would have made a counter offer to some of your people to come here and stay safe, especially those famous leaders who are declared terrorists globally, but of whom you seem to have no proof. They could live in Tihar and have world class Biryani. That Kasab fellow must have written to you guys no? Oh wait, I forgot. You abandoned him to die the moment he left your borders.

Frankly, looking at all the above, I think this is all related to with one thing, and only one thing.

Keep your grubby hands off SRK. He will not dance in any of your weddings.

Cheers
M

PS - Try Saif, after Race 2, he'll probably need it.

Mumbai, Marine Drive and Vada Pav

My close friends know that I have Mumbai-phobia. For a very old reason, the place terrifies me, in fact the possibility of having to travel by " the local trains" will ensure I don't board the flight in Bangalore, or even catch the meru cab to the airport. None the less, Mumbai is very different, very welcoming, and has a culture that is very different from most cities in India, and this is visible from the moment the plane touches down on the runway. (example follows later)

So I got this opportunity to attend a workshop that was important and last-minute enough to have me land in Mumbai on 25th Aug. Unlike other trips, this had nothing to do with asking people why they drink liquor, or why a shop sold liquor, where's my liquor,etc

Sheela and some other Jawani's

Yes I got sucked into the hala-gula about Sheela and her jawani. Undoubtedly, many more will venture into more expensive territory (PVR, FAME..) to find out and watch more of her Jawani Unfold. What was an item song, has now become the "item song of the year" or at least claims to be, and while Katrina's jawani will fade away in some time, in the recent past we've had these crazy crazy item numbers thats driven many a young jawani to the brinks of loosing their....ummm..errr....never mind.

What drives these songs to turn normal college kids, young adults, old people, etc etc to go crazy when the tunes of these hip gyrating, water drenched, bull riding, tattoo-getting, choli displaying etc etc videos?

In search of answers to these awfully simple looking questions, we have put together a composition of what we think has been the best of the last few years. And we have tried to keep the jawani gender neutral. Period.

In the order of our favorites!!!

10. Khallas - Company (2002) - Isha Koppikar



9. Aisa Jadoo : Khakee (2004)-Lara Dutta



8. Lazy Lamhe - Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic (2008)-Amisha Patel



7. Dhoom Machale - Dhoom (2004)-Tata Young



6. Chamma Chamma - China Gate (1998)- Urmila Matondkar



5. Beedi Jalile - Omkara (2006)-Bipasha Basu



4.Kajra Re - Bunty Aur Babli (2005)-Aishwarya Rai Bachchan



3. Babuji Zara Dheere Chalo - Dum (2003) - Yana Gupta



2. Chaiya chaiya - Dil Se (1998)-Malaika Arora Khan



1. Munni Badnam - Dabangg (2010) Malaika Arora Khan!!!



Without any Doubt, Malaika is the queen of item songs!!!

Meanwhile there are many more honourable mentions, but were not included as they weren't "technically" item songs, or were a bit too old. We mention them below:

1. Tu Cheez Badi hai Mast - Mohra (1994) Raveena Tandon
2. Tip Tip Barsa pani - Mohra (1994) Raveena Tandon
3. Koi Jaaye to le aaye - Ghatak (1996) Mamta Kulkarni
4. Choli Ke Peeche - Khalnayak (1993) Madhuri Dixit Nene
5. Helen's Item numbers
6. Videos from Kaante(2), Musafir(2), Kaal(1),Dostana(1), Garam Masala(2)

And Before we go, lets check out Sheela once and for all!!!




CheErs!!!
MaDdy