My Mid year appraisal.

Dear M,

Hola!

It's me and Columbus, in Spain

Welcome to the latest in random thoughts and mumbling from my "bored, lazy, yet determined to keep this space alive" self. It's not the first time I've been gone for long, and I'm sure it won't be the last.

Hah! used clickbait headlines, but will make it up to you if you read on. Promise.

Of course make no mistake - I have long forgone the thoughts of being a consistent writer, which requires some semblance of linear thought or being adept at bringing together seemingly disjointed ideas into a interesting narrative over a period of time - (I'll let George Martin get the fame on that one) I have also come to the sad conclusion that I do not enjoy documenting my experiences on travel beyond instagram stories or photos - given probably to my fascination with the next thing I interact with, as inanimate or irrelevant may it be to most adults. Attention Deficit I think they call it.

Ooooh look a butterfly! 

For those wondering, this post took me 6 hours, 2 4 episodes of Fringe, lunch, 2 breaks, one coffee, an hour of contemplation on who really wrote history (victors or losers) and redding 100 odd pages of the Amazon book, to finish. I allow myself these liberties on weekends.

Kingdom Come

Image Credits - Google

It's a lovely day for chocolate
All dark, bitter and free
The Sun is warm and perfect
The waves gently tickle my feet

Ham & Eggs on the table,
Before the sun gets all high
A never ending Caipiroska sweats
My Beer lets out a sigh

I walk through the French Windows
The curtains make way for the breeze
Sands disappear & sprawling lawns arise
Dogs look happy and fine

The early stars shine through the open roof
The Pool is quite comforting
Exit through the hidden waterfall
Into a Den, my play world

A new book, I muse over a phrase
Into the life size Aquarium, I gaze
The moon light peers in through the palms
Overseeing the cities crystal maze

The Custom-made shines bright black
Below the canopy of the Tree house
A Cabinet full of Muay Thai trophies
My Mind, it's a digital mouse

The Boys and Girls come over
Cheering for our good old Chelsea
The Party's just begun
And it's getting Guetta Crazy

Reality is limited to your imagination,
The kingdom is to your pocket
Mine however, is on her way
Till then...

It's a lovely day for chocolate

Shakespeare makes an entry

Over tea and samosas, he told me to read this verse from Shakespeare. I almost choked on the tea, but managed to keep the samosas in. Not that the samosas or any food had anything to fear once I had'em. Samosas are great way to spend evenings, and that too with that spicy chutney. And those Kachori's with hot tea and warm Jaleb.......wait.

Shakespeare. Yes.

So he told me to read this verse and get back to him with my interpretation of the same. Now I know the conversation we had bordered on past and previous and current endeavors of a romantic kind, but Shakespeare? Seriously? Me? I would have thought a man to man talk would suggest a movie-thon of blood spilling, weapon totting, forest burning, action heroes in dark raining locales. But this was new, and he insisted. And yes, he is the well read types, and yes he is my friend. Yes, I have all sort of friends. No, I can't give you M S Dhoni's phone number.

So when I did this search, this is what came up: (Please don't roll you eyes, even If you don't want to read. Just read the highlighted lines!!! See how much I care for your readership?!)

The quality of mercy is not strain'd,
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath: it is twice blest;
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes:
'Tis mightiest in the mightiest: it becomes
The thronéd monarch better than his crown;
His sceptre shows the force of temporal power,
The attribute to awe and majesty,
Wherein doth sit the dread and fear of kings;
But mercy is above this sceptred sway;
It is enthronéd in the hearts of kings,
It is an attribute to God himself;
And earthly power doth then show likest God's
When mercy seasons justice. Therefore, Jew,
Though justice be thy plea, consider this,
That, in the course of justice, none of us
Should see salvation: we do pray for mercy;
And that same prayer doth teach us all to render
The deeds of mercy. I have spoke thus much
To mitigate the justice of thy plea;
Which if thou follow, this strict court of Venice
Must needs give sentence 'gainst the merchant there.

—Act IV, sc. i

OK, so now this verse is from the "Merchant of Venice" and this particular verse is also called Portia's speech. I read an abridged version in school and to sum it up - This babe gets in court and saves her boyfriend by telling the merchant he can take a pound of flesh (as agreed in the bond between aforementioned Boyfriend) but not a pound of blood. (Smart, no?) But not before making a plea of mercy.

Of Course, the Merchant was bitch-lawyered. You can read the long, winding explanation on Google.

So where do I fit in?

No, No, I haven't signed a bond for flesh. And I don't have a girlfriend doing bargains for my blood (lots that I have) 

You will agree with me, that when we don't get what we want, when we are treated badly by close friends, when you don't get that job, when Apple screws you with no OS updates for old I phones, we go two ways. One, We get angry and jump around (of the Angry Birds ishtyle), scream & throw tantrums and then shut up. Two, we scheme for revenge.You want to Kolaveri-di their asses to hell-u. *smirk* . It then proceeds-u to get messy-u, bitter-u and blood-u all around. No one wins-u. Everyone looses-u. 

Not one to be left behind, I tried. I tried getting angry and jumping around (not easy at 100+ kilos) screaming (thank you sore throat) and shutting up. Dint help. I tried scheming for revenge, the farthest I could go was to not open the door or maybe drop a call. Not very helpful, must say. I care too much.

Anyways, bottom line. Sooner or later, things move on. And living in limbo is more painful. We were discussing the way forward (ugh I hate that power point slide title) it seemed to my friend that things could get brutal. He's been around for quite a while you see, and he's known me for 5 years now. He's got a front narration of the previous scripts, so, yeah. 

So hence his gentle reminder that, you don't need to cut open a vein to sort things out. You can do it graciously, you can do it mercifully, and not load your prejudices and sarcasm tipped arrows at the target. After all, as a friend, being there through thick and thin, is applicable to oneself as well. So, you can walk away with your head held high and not get influenced by choices others make. You can still make it your choice. 

And so...

"The quality of mercy is not strain'd,..."

M

The Plank Man

I sit on the plank
Feet Dangling in the air
Its eerily cold
And the sun is on its way down
Others have boarded
And the sails are torn

There's not much time
And I've had my say
But no one's listening
Should I turn away?
So many choices on the Ship
The plank is Creaking

With a torn Sail
Where will you go?
The sun is setting and its dark
Don't get Lost and broken,
Don't run ashore
Wait some time
And think some more

You're eager to sail
Its a stormy sea
That lies ahead
Its not the journey you should fear
Its the conviction
That it is what you want

Get a new sail, or sail in this
Chase a setting sun or the full moon
You're your own captain
There's no right or wrong
But ensure
That you'll never sail alone

The plank is creaking
The sun is gone
One end is ashore
One end is yours
Sail Away or come ashore
The plank is creaking,
Can't hold on anymore.

M

Morality and more such nonsense

I come back to the same question. Is doing the right thing really that important? The right thing comes to me as naturally as crotch grabbing comes to Michael Jackson (his own or otherwise). Yet I don't feel right after years of what I thought was sensible, morally acceptable living. The world, for some unfathomable reason, doesn't seem to revolve around me.

From then till now

Started with a note, ended with a cry
And then all joined, make fun of the short guy

Then there was a painter, but had to cross the sea
That left innocent tears, and memories

Soon it was school, the nicknames just fade
Who really bothers, at that time and age

Then it got serious, a deal was made
A Stone reached out for the Sun, an outsider made hay

Blood was shed, none could be seen
The Sun ran away, life was mean

And then another and another, sense prevailed
Some were anchors, and others just derailed

And a voice was heard, and heard it remained
reasons unknown, it went as it came

A shoulder was given, an ear for a tear
Time healed a wound, and opened another near

A word was said, a cookie shared
But remained memorable moments, here and there

Before one ends the other starts,
And before it starts, it too ends.

And so it goes, and so it is said

From then till now,
A Heart lost to the head.

M

Of Heart Attacks and ICU Escapades!!!

First up, I am perfectly alright, my heart is in great shape and this has been ratified by one of the leading cardiac surgeons in Bangalore. Second, if you are still concerned, you can send me cash, expensive electronic equipment(I Phone 4, I Pad, Mac books..) and goodies to make me feel better. Third, if any of you good folks speak to me again in a manner that resembles speaking to a man on his death bed, I shall sue you.

What are you to do with dreams?

Dreams kill me. They really do. I mean its like living the whole thing and your thinking and running around and just doing things. Going through all those emotions and then you wake up. And your caught between being blown away and feeling stupid.

And how come you don't get dreams that make you laugh, like comedy dreams? Its either scary, or a thriller or a sad one or a completely crazy one. I had dreams where people from absolutely different places and time lines are pulled in to one.

Recently, I had a series (Check for dreams under the Dreamlog tab) of dreams all revolving around one single person and its like watching a TV Serial, just that its so real. The Series is still on.

If you do a quick Google search on meaning of dreams, you'll get tons of literature on dreams, a few porn sites and lots of horoscope stuff. But more or less they all point to one thing (Except the porn of course)- Your most inner thoughts and subconscious mind come together to show you what's really on your mind.

Fair Enough. So what then? React or realize or what?

At the end of it all, what do you do with them?!!!

M