The Stone

Early in the morning 

Dry, Dusty and forlorn

It was just moments ago

When she left for another stone

The time is approaching, soon

She'll come slowly by,

A lovely cooling stream at first,

and then go gushing by

She drowns me in her self

Giggling, Playful and full of life

Before she takes another turn

And is gone without a sight

That is the way she goes

Bending and touching every stone

Giving love and life to a creature

not capable of loving in return

She will not wait for me

There are many that wait ahead

"What do you have to offer" - she says

"You are but just a stone"

And so I wait, For her return

It his her nature. to move along

A stone I am, I do not doubt

But one that glistens the most,

When shes around.

It is now Twilight

Dry, Dusty and forlorn

It was just moments ago

When she left for another stone

M
(Written some time in 2010, found it in my drafts!!!)

Men

Over the years DM has hinted at regular Male Behaviour through its subtle posts. We spoke about the difference in Men and Women Drivers, why a book is better than a girl friend (for which we the womens lib army held us up \m/) and of course the How To clean room / Kitchen Series. We also suggested the way men relax in The Art of Meditation. However the fairer society doesn't seem to be getting the hint. (Though they can come up with a wide range of accusations, etc) So we came up with some stuff that could be helpful.


1. When guys are pissed, they want to be left alone. Do NOT ask the following Questions
     - How's my Hair
     - You don't love me anymore
     - (After 5 min) Are you ok now?
     - (After 10 min) Am Bored. Wanna go to a movie?

2. Men love Gadgets. And vice versa. Do Not mess with them.The Gadgets I mean.

3. Men evolved from apes. Apes are messy. So are men. Don't nag them to clean up. Won't help. EVER.

4. NEVER give directions to a guy driving/riding. Catch an auto if you know the way.

5. Magenta, Ruby Red, Scarlet, Sky Blue, Cyan, etc are beyond understanding. Stick to Rainbow definition of  colours.

6. Men instinctively are problem solvers. They look at everything thats not right as a problem. So if you say " I had a horrible day at work" you'll probably get a reply like " Why don't ya quit?"

7. Men are not very good listeners. Especially when your on one of those "she said to her friend, who is the sister of my uncles brother in law, and then they came to...blah blah blah" etc. You want them to listen, tell them before you start!!!

8. Defintiely not good at subtle hints. If your upset, please tell them why!!!

9. Cricket and Football are not to be messed with. Even if Ekta Kapoor is doing the acting in the 47,000th episode of a 5 year old serial on Whose finally going to marry Manav/Ritesh/Amit/etc

10. Men are numbskulls some times. They mess up and get things wrong. But that doesn't mean they don't know it. They're probabaly feeling bad about it and wanna make it up to you. Don't start a nagging riot!!!

Hope this helps!!! (If it doesn't., read again :P )

:)
M

How to Clean the Kitchen

After the oh - so - popular post on How To Clean Your Room , we are back with the next edition on cleanliness ( B-O-R-I-N-G)  for all you lazy Bachelors - "How to Clean the Kitchen"

We do want to warn you though, that if you are planning to get married in the near future, don't try this with the new cutlery. Won't go well with the missus / or the in law's for that matter. And you certainly don't want to let them catch you reading this, so read this like you would read porn. (You Randy Scoundrel, You!!!)

So here goes...

You know, Life's a Bitch.

Dear Maddy boy,

The first line we wrote in our diary, much before blogs, vlogs, and others was this...

"I don't know why am writing this."

6 years later we still don't know why. Guess going by that single point we haven't progressed much.

But on the contrary I have. I thought more, bothered more, cared more, loved more and lived more. I did what was morally right and socially acceptable. I kept myself last and pushed on in the hope that I would get the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I had it all figured out like Spock from Star Trek.

But I realize now that I was happier when I was a selfish, egoistic, moron who didn't give a shit. You made me change for what was supposed to be right. But was it right?

Your silly notions of right and wrong, good and bad, what ifs and maybes have led to exactly where you are now. And you and I both know that it sucks. BIG TIME.

Of Beaches, Babes and Beer - GOA!!!

Finally!!! After years of thirst and longing, on 8th April, via Kingfisher Red's wobbly ATR Flight Number 26 -sumthin-sumthin, we landed in the bloody hot paradise of Goa.

The Best part about Goa is, that the moment you land, you feel like drinking beer. Which is good of course, considering that you can buy beer/liquor at cheap prices in any place that has 2 shelves and a roof. That's what this place is all about, and that's what all the teenagers keep hoping to do in Goa.

The moment you land in the Airport, apart from the Cops and the Taxis wala's, everyone is dressed

Am better than you

In between the busy schedule of life (wait, is that an ad line?Shit!) I notice that we suffer from "One Upmanship". For some reason, we don't seem to be able to digest another person getting the better of us.

Lose a race? Well I was tired.

Your Best bud got better grades? They copied.

The new guy got promoted? The guys a ass kisser.... etc etc

I see day in and day out, that people who are on the receiving end of life (the good side of course) cannot stand the lesser fortunate ones getting even a shred of good fortune. They have to strip them and downplay their effort, if not in public forums, then at least in private spaces that are convenient enough for other to overhear. Thereby keeping their "I am perfect" image intact.

Its sad side of human nature, that in all our glory, we not only are unhappy with what we have, but are also interested in stealing from others and when we fail, to show others in bad light.

This incessant need to justify our failures and weaknesses by showing it as a product/fault of someone elses actions is the difference between good and bad , right and wrong, and happy and sad people.

At the end of the day, its all about "Am better than you".

I don't know if this is apt here, but I wanna quote :

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands in moments of challenge amid controversy."- Martin Luther King Jr.


M

The Tale of the Happy Day Driver

In my 4 years in Bangalore, I haven't once heard anyone praise the infamous autos that
terrorize the bumpy, metro stricken, Volvo clashing roads of the city. Being a patronizer of the few decent auto walas now and then, even I wouldn't expect good treatment from them.

It's a simple as being robbed. They over charge, won't drop you were you want to be dropped and keep cribbing all the way. If you don't know Kannada, then God save you.

I have also written about finding the right auto which will suggest that I have had my share of bad experiences.

However, on one fine day, walking the streets I found an alien driver. He not only got off his seat to usher me in, he smiled and wished me "happy day sir". Now my warning bells went off, naturally, that this chap is going to fleece me with the little English that he knew. It was also April 1st, so I kept looking over my shoulder for any suspicious looking vehicles following us around with the camera crew of MTV bakra.

Surprisingly, not only did he take me by the shortest route, his meter was perfect and he returned me every rupee of change. No awkward shuffling in his pocket and all the standard " no change sir" strategy. He also wished me "happy day" when I was getting off.

My curiosity got the better of me, and I corrected him saying that it was good morning and not happy day. He then proceeded to tell me that he was attending a leadership program (albeit a small one conducted by social welfare groups) where they taught English. His reason for saying happy day was that happy day was better than just good morning. If out of 10 passengers, 2 spoke to him about this "happy day" it made him happy and reduced his stress of having to drive from 9 to 9.






Think about that!!!

M



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

26 and Mourning

When I got out of the doctors clinic today, I realized that at 26, am set for an Early retirement from life.

He made it sound very simple, a smiling "don't worry this is nothing" nod as he explained RSI to me ( and it's common these days) but I just couldn't pay attention.

It wasn't just physical ailments now and then that were bugging me, but a sense that things were getting worse. Over the last 6 months, I developed a back problem, a knee injury that returned and now repetitive stress injury. Coupled with some emotional hiccups and heartache, I am in the worst shape of my life!!!

All this while I thought I could take it. I diverted my attention to work to block out everything else, but I missed all the signals my body was giving me. Tried to hold in and hide, and ended up more irritated and frustrated.

A couple of hours of star gazing, and I see that life is no longer the same as the energetic, basketball playing dreamer that existed 3 years ago. Instead a fat, broken, workaholic face stares at me in the mirror. I have done what I always thought I would, but at what cost? Why have I let go?

Things are going to change, and the bottom line is nothing can be done about it. Fate has a way of telling you that somethings are not for you, no matter how you try to convince yourself that you deserve it. And each time, it hurts.

Probably the last couple of months have been the nails in the coffin.

The 26 year old me mourns the me of yesteryears. Where do I go from here?

M

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

An Iphone, a Zoozoo and The Pug

(The Subject line of the blog is the subject of the mail I sent to Vodafone to get my point across)

Before I start, I need to let you know the background, so I don't sound like a 100% Grade 1 Bastard. Though I didnt get the choice of which subscriber I picked up with the I phone, My troubles began on Day 1, 2009

1. No one at Vodafone had a clue as to how the Internet was to be activated on the I phone. It took them a month to figure the right SMS. (understandable, being new device to India and all that)

2. My balances kept vanishing under the pretext of "user" charges.
3. A year of silence later, I finally am able to get the net services on the phone, after hours of talking to customer care.
4. The Terror of "Submit Documents" begins. (At this point, please note I have legitamately been using this number for 5 years) Every call, you get the "submit the documents" voice, Every day an SMS.
5. I walk into Vodafone, store give them the documents, and walk out.
6. Vodafone refuses to back down, attacks with more "submit Document" calls and SMS.
7. I walk into Vodafone, store give them the documents, and walk out.
8. Vodafone refuses to back down, attacks with more "submit Document" calls and SMS.
9. I fight through 100s of people, for hours and submit documents.
10. Vodafone is still doing the same ...submit documents. They further proceed to cut my caller id, incoming and outgoing on the day that MNP is introduced in Bangalore. Thereby forcing me to stick to them and their non service. They also refuse to respond to my mails to unlock the phone.

Finally, I get some mail ids on FB (Big Big People), and cross check on Linkedin, and proceed to send the following mail.


Hi,
Today, I really felt that I should write this mail to let you know a few things.
I have enjoyed your services over the last 5 years, first as Hutch and then as Vodafone, and recently as a satisfied I Phone customer.You had amazing offerings, and your services drew me to sticking on.The Cute Pug ad also played a big role in keeping me hooked to your brand.

However, recent treatment from Vodafone has made me feel that I have displeased your Pug and fallen in the eyes of the ZooZoos.

Apparently,fighting my way through hundreds of "happy" subscribers to submit address/photo documents in your store (that opens conveniently after 11am) is not enough. Even If I do it 3 times.

I don't have much choice when your "help" centre is busy attending other calls, or a pretty voice asks me to keep pressing numbers (while am bombarded with your recent caller tune campaigns) to reach the elusive human on the other end.

As a Marketing Professional, your "happy to help" campaign inspires me to write this mail, hoping to have either my calls and SMS restored, or my phone unlocked so as to switch the service provider.

In the entire scheme of things, am sure one subscriber does not have a big say, But I hope to have your help in either way.

 
 
Needless to say, the next day everything was back in place, and the day after that a nice gentleman came down to pick my documents and to submit them.
 
At the end, after everything, they did solve the problem, so I guess at least someone in Vodafone is happy to help!!!
 
Cheers
M

Villages and Cities, Rivers and Trees

I just got back from Home, a wonderful place that is untouched by the evils of society. By Evils I mean, Cellular Networks, E Mails and Facebook. And "Modernity" as we, the lesser souls of the city, know it.

Life in the Village is so different. It's as if the the Village itself is breathing. The rooster actually crows at sunrise, and you awake to trickles of sunlight shooting in through tiled roofs, to the smell of early morning dew and dust (not the city version) in the air, smell of fresh coffee brewing and the morning bath getting ready under burning wood.

Children walk/run to school, chattering about their pony tails and picking interesting stones. In the rare occasion that they do catch a bus, there's a broad smile when they climb it, because its a joy ride for them. A Cadbury Eclairs is a treasure to be savored on a right occasion and the sound of the school bell ringing in the end of class is the sign of freedom. Freedom to run through fields, over bridges, skipping over rivulets and staring at birds, all the way home.

Everyone smiles at everyone, and asks their welfare. Everyone helps everyone and there's never a task a couple of hands can't help you achieve. Old Men and Women tell tales of old, and the grand children run around in the courtyard playing tag. No Complicated Wii and No roller coaster rides that need safety belts to have fun in.

Rivers gurgle their way through the village, gently teasing the rocks and skipping under wooden bridges. Trees are massive skyscrappers, and its amazing what green does to your eyes. Large expanse of green and green, tall trees of areca nut rubbing shoulders with coconut palms , towering over mazes of banana plantations.

And as twilight sets in, flocks of birds settle in for the night in their cosy nests, singing goodnight to world around them. Oil Lamps come out on the "Tulsi" and Gates, and the temple bells ring loudly for the last prayer of the day, before the village goes off to sleep, under the beautiful watch of the twinkling stars.

Cities are just cement and rock. And its making the people in them, just as lifeless as themselves.

Home in the village is the only place I can sit and do Nothing, and still feel content in just being.

Cheers
M

What are you to do with dreams?

Dreams kill me. They really do. I mean its like living the whole thing and your thinking and running around and just doing things. Going through all those emotions and then you wake up. And your caught between being blown away and feeling stupid.

And how come you don't get dreams that make you laugh, like comedy dreams? Its either scary, or a thriller or a sad one or a completely crazy one. I had dreams where people from absolutely different places and time lines are pulled in to one.

Recently, I had a series (Check for dreams under the Dreamlog tab) of dreams all revolving around one single person and its like watching a TV Serial, just that its so real. The Series is still on.

If you do a quick Google search on meaning of dreams, you'll get tons of literature on dreams, a few porn sites and lots of horoscope stuff. But more or less they all point to one thing (Except the porn of course)- Your most inner thoughts and subconscious mind come together to show you what's really on your mind.

Fair Enough. So what then? React or realize or what?

At the end of it all, what do you do with them?!!!

M

100 Must Read Books

I suddenly awoke to my long time wish of reading. So some surfing later I arrived at three different sets of must read books. Namely

1. The BBC List 100
2. From the Affiliate Marketing Blog
3. D J McAdam's list

Some of the books are common, while the BBC List has more uncommon options. I don't suggest or recommend any of them particularly, but I liked the ones on the Affiliate Marketing Blog. So am re producing the same below

1. Plato, The Republic
2. Homer, The Odyssey
3. William Shakespeare - One really must read all of Shakespeare
4. Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights
5. Nathaniel Hawthorne, The House of the Seven Gables
6. Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo
7. Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities
8. Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol
9. Wilkie Collins, The Woman in White. 
10. Owen Wister, The Virginian  
11. Fyodor Dostoevsky, Crime and Punishment
12. Franz Kafka, The Trial
13. Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises
14. James Joyce, Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
15. Mary Shelley, Frankenstein
16. Herman Melville, Moby Dick
17. Egar Allan Poe, Complete Short Stories
18. Ralph Waldo Emerson, Collected Essays
19. Henry David Thoreau, Walden. In my mind, Thoreau and Emerson should be read regularly by all Americans, but that's just one man's opinion.
20. J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
21. Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre
22. Arthur Conan Doyle, The Hound of the Baskervilles
23. Geoffrey Chaucer, The Canterbury Tales
24. Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray
25. Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
26. Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
27. Hermann Hesse, The Glass Bead Game
28. Bram Stoker, Dracula
29. Jonathan Swift, Gulliver's Travels
30. Benjamin Franklin, Autobiography
31. Jack London, The Call of the Wild
32. Henry James, The American
33. Edith Wharton, Ethan Frome
34. Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness
35. Aldous Huxley, Brave New World
36. George Orwell, Animal Farm
37. Dashiell Hammett, The Maltese Falcon
38. Raymond Chandler, The Big Sleep
39. P. G. Wodehouse, Carry On, Jeeves
40. Jules Verne, A Journey to the Center of the Earth
41. Daniel Defoe, Robinson Crusoe
42. Robert Louis Stevenson, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
43. Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Idiot
44. Sherwood Anderson, Winesburg, Ohio
45. Henry James, Daisy Miller
46. E. W. Hornung, Raffles, The Amateur Cracksman
47. Henry James, Washington Square
48. James Boswell, The Life of Samuel Johnson
49. Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged. This is the book you must read, but you might want to read The Fountainhead first.
50. F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby
51. John Steinbeck, The Grapes of Wrath
52. Hermann Hesse, Demian
53. Hermann Hesse, Steppenwolf
54. Albert Camus, The Stranger
55. Jack Kerouac, On the Road
56. Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace
57. Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
58. George Orwell, 1984
59. Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
60. Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass
61. Sun Tzu, The Art of War
62. Thomas Paine, Common Sense and Other Essays
63. Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
64. Erich Maria Remarque, All Quiet on the Western Front
65. St. Augustine, Confessions
66. Miguel de Cervantes, Don Quixote
67. W. Somerset Maugham, The Razor's Edge
68. H. G. Wells, The Time Machine
69. Aldo Leopold, A Sand County Almanac
70. Sun Tzu, The Art of War
71. Anne Rice, The Witching Hour  
72. Lee Child, Die Trying

Some more from the other lists...

  73.    Harper Lee, To Kill a Mocking Bird

  74.    Joseph Heller, Catch 22

  75.    Audrey Niffenegger,The Time Traveller’s Wife 

  76.    Charles Dickens, David Copperfield

  77.    CS Lewis, Chronicles of Narnia
  78.    Jane Austen, Emma
  79.    Jane Austenm Persuasion
  80.    Helen Fielding, Bridget Jones’s Diary
  81.    Salman Rushdie, Midnight’s Children
  82.    Aravind Adiga, The White Tiger

I hope to read these books in a manner that makes sense to me, and that I learn something from them. Not a wild chase to complete a list, actually.

Meanwhile, you might want to check out www.goodreads.com Nice stuff for book lovers. Arrange, review, find friends and all that.

Cheers
M

 

 

Straight from the heart

Though I may have managed to drag around to the other side of 25 on this Feb 14th, am very happy. For many reasons.

Am happy for the 150 odd wishes on FB, a dozen odd sms, 30 odd calls, 40 + personal wishes, some great surprises, lottsa cake,  a kid who couldn't get enough of jumping on my shoulders, 2 dear friends whom I dint meet in a loooooong time, 2 best buds who called me as usual in the middle of night to regale stories of times gone by, some old food, a dear friend ("giggle") who went a long way to make it a great day and gifts :)

Its moments that these that make me grateful for wonderful people around me. Though a lot of my buddies are going to get married soon, and probably life won't be the same as before, am hopeful that there will always be people around the corner that I can hug and feel at home.

Though there are many reasons to be unhappy, I think its time to put it all behind and enjoy each day as it comes. Or At least try to.

Life is wonderful sometimes.

M

Dreamlog - On French Island

Walking around the beach in the morning sun was as normal as it could get. But not for Ajay. He was on an island in France which was hardly the size of his college block, with his friend, on the invitation of the girl he loved and even more painfully her fiance. Which was what made it un-normal so to speak.

What made it strange was that he couldn't understand how there were grape vines growing out of the sea, what the hell his friend who had nothing to do with this part of his life,was doing there with him, and why there was an Indian style STD telephone booth in the middle of a beach in France.Through out this journey, he never once saw the face of the girl nor her fiance, but heard them throughout, talking to each other about things only two people in love could. He could only imagine of course.

He also got into an interaction with some Thailand natives, arguing about the size of the L shaped swimming pool in their home, which was tiled with colorful mosaic which looked more like a Lego collection.

At the end of it all, he woke up with a feeling of sadness and confusion.

P S  - Point to prove that "Ajay" has some wacky sixth sense(for the umpteenth time), "Ajay's Friend" sent "Ajay" a face book message asking him how he knew this "girl" in question on the same day in the afternoon.There are no coincidences in life.

***
Living a lie is a difficult task. Doing it everyday is emotional suicide.


M

Snakes and Ladders

Life is a game of snakes and ladders. Strategy doesn't work. Planning doesn't work. We're fools if we think that something we do is actually making things happen. Its not Chess, Its snakes and ladders. You throw the dice anyway you want but you can never predict all the numbers right.

Hope is what drives the throw of the dice, the dice is what drives the game. Sometimes up the ladders and others down by the snake.The snakes and ladders are already there, you'll keep falling and you'll keep climbing, but you'll keep throwing that dice till its over.

I'm beginning to loose patience with these board games.

M

( PS : Been to 99 and back. Again.)

Love. Farewell.Waterfall.

"I dont' know what to do with this heart...
I don't know what to do with this heart, babe." - thought in my head as I woke from 3 back to back dreams today.

(All three dreams narrated below. Probably won't make sense to reader, but it was overwhelming to me.)

***

It was her final goodbye, and Rajesh was tense. In his heart he had already said goodbye, but a final sight is all he wanted. They were gathered up in a room, and she was in getting ready to leave. For some odd reason he was seriously under dressed for the occasion with a vest and shorts, apart from playing football with a blue plastic ball on the terrace parking lot of a five star hotel.

As the moment came, she came out with her luggage and her friends from the room. He sat on the edge of the bed, awaiting his turn. As she came up to him, there was a smile on her face. Rajesh got up to give her a hug, but she pushed him away. She nodded her head in disapproval and laughed. And she left.

He ran to the terrace and kicked the ball from the top to the ground floor, and then ran all the way down. He took the parking ramp, jumping mid way on every ramp. As he searched for the ball at the bottom, he got into the lobby of the hotel, and promptly the hostess stopped him. She stared at him, and asked him to leave. He walked out knowing fully well that she dint know who he was, and it dint matter anyway.

***

Every one Max worked with, was at the party, strange that it was in his cousins new house. Amazing house that it was, right by the river and with an awesome full fledged bar at the bottom. Strange, he never knew his cousin drank anyway.

As everyone one was having a great time, he tried desperately to get her attention and it dint make sense as to what he was doing wrong. He'd never been this frank with anyone, let alone with a girl. The moment he had laid eyes on her he knew this was going to be awesome. It was as if he got this jigsaw piece that completed his puzzle. He tried everything to catch her attention, to show her that it would be good between them.

It seemed as if she didn't notice anything at all, as if Max was another face in the crowd, although a little fun.

***
The huge Niagara-ish falls was now clear behind the huge broken down fort. Folklore had it that if you felt true love, you could see a Stone Carved colourful Ganesh behind the waterfall. He stood there, at the edge staring at the falls, hoping to find something that made sense to him. His small guide had left him there for some time now.

All around some people stood, widely waving their arms at people, pointing excitedly to one another. Some just stared, some were happy and some left while others came. The roar of the water was deafening. All of a sudden he found a man with a camera calling out to him. He went to him and looked at the point he was pointing at.

There was mist all around. And in seconds his benefactor was gone.

And then he saw it. A beautiful Ganesh, right in the face of the falls. It was beautiful and was Huge. As the water crashed around, he could make out the eyes looking right at him.

As it started raining, he ran. He crossed the fields, he crossed the mud paths and the fort. It kept puring harder and he kept running.

***
M

Marketing Terminology Fundas

After the amazingly superb and ever popular posts on Sales Fundas and Business Jargons we are back with the World Famous in Bengalooru edition of the Marketing Terminology Fundas.

(Before you go ahead, be warned. Any connection with real life working scenarios in any organisation in any country on any planet is purely coincidental (HA!!!) and not a result of the author sharing his expertise with upper management of said organisation.)

So here we go...

4P's of marketing
They no longer the P's of marketing. They're probably the F's of the other departments that end with Marketing and marketing tries to mystify it.

Brand

Any logo/name/symbol Marketeers think Consumers will like and "relate" to. Like when you really really need to go, the toilet sign makes absolute sense to you, no matter what it looks like or reads.

Brand Manager
Under paid, over worked people in suits that make "Brand" a big thing and ensure no one knows what it means or is supposed to do. Including themselves.

Insight
The thought that comes to a "Brand Manager" before anyone else on that particular day.
For e.g Gobldegokkamopholy has 18 letters. This is an insight because I thought of it first.

Consumer Oriented Approach
There's No Such Thing

Market Research
The systematic gathering, recording, analyzing, and use of data to prove what you think is right, or what others think is wrong.

Brand Strategy
A Piece of paper which has the "Brand" repeated every 3rd word in CAPS.

Market Share
Dividing the market in enough ways to prove that in any one particular part your "brand" is the only brand that is being bought therefore 100% Market Share. For E.g In a market of one room, with one chair, with one person who has one foot, your "one leg shoe brand" has 100% share.

Target Consumers
A group of individuals whom collectively, are mentioned as the people who will buy your "Brand" on a power point presentation made by a "Brand Manager". This is of course proved by "Market Research"

Hope you had a learning experience!!! Coming soon are the HR and Finance Departments!!!

Cheers
M

How to choose an Auto Rickshaw

Have been experiencing the autos of Bangalore for a few days now, and I have realised that the choosing the right rickshaw plays a big part in the total amount you pay. I have taken the same route over three days, at the same time, with different autos, and ended up paying three different amounts. The third being outright robbery.

After giving this a long and serious thought of 10minutes, I have derived a brilliant way to handle these ruffians and to extract value. So, with no further delay, I present..... (Drum roll)

Choosing Autos for Dummies - MadDys handy guide list

1. The First step is to leave 15minutes early. No matter what the situation, a guy in a hurry will end up paying more. Without doubt, if you're in a hurry, the whole world will try to make money outta you.

2. Choosing an auto is about knowing where to find one. If you go to an auto stand, you will definitely have to pay the "union" rates.  Look out for the lone auto parked around the auto stand. Chances are he's not from there and he wants to get out of that area. This is the auto you need to approach

3. When not at a regular auto stand, look at the drivers hanging out. Never approach any one in the crowd if they are joking or talking to each other. They don't need the money. Look for a bored to death driver hanging out of his auto. He's the auto you need to talk to.

4. Never go for a totally new auto or a totally old one. A new one is out to clear his installments, and on an old one you're definitely paying more with the faulty lines and tampered meters. Go for the semi new, non plastered with weird stickers types.

5. Always ask for your location in the local language, and never agree to the first rate that comes out. I once had a guy ask me for Rs 100 for a one km ride, just because I asked him in Hindi.

6. Always keep alert, an auto guy who's keen to take you without talking money is a risky proposition. Either his meter is rigged or he's gonna take you for a ride.

7. Never being forced into an auto just because three or four drivers are bombarding you with words. Hold your ground and tell them to Fuck off. (Not loudly though)

8. And last but not the least, you need to have a basic idea of where your going. If you don't then even a great auto guy can't help you!!!

Cheers
M

Sacrifice and Animosity.

How far would you go to get your loved one?

Someone whom you love dearly, can't be without types? Some people don't even realize how much they have sacrificed, but by the time they do, its too late. We are so blinded at times, that we do not want to accept the fact that we are pushing our likes and happiness back, hoping our loved ones would reciprocate at some point of time. Over a period of time, only one is actually trying to make things work and they end up on the receiving end.Obviously the other partner is oblivious to this as they have taken it for granted. the And that's how the classic question arises -- "You have changed". The fact is that no one changes, one just doesn't see the change that one takes to themselves, to make the other one happy.

In a relationship, sacrifice is nothing if its not reciprocated to make things work.

***
Have you ever met someone whom you instantly dislike? I mean its this open animosity that's so obvious behind all the standard communication gestures, like "Hi" or a handshake. It's like each is looking over the shoulder and for no reason there is this hostile atmosphere.

You just have that alarm button go off, the moment you hear their name or notice them around and no matter what you try or do, there is no way to make it go away. Some things are just that way.

M

Inner Sync

Have you had the feeling that you just know somethings gonna happen ? That moment when you expect someone to say something, and they just say it? That you were just thinking of a person and a message from them pops up on the screen? Or you can imagine someone in a particular slice of life picture, and then somewhere you actually see it? That you preempt what someone is gonna say, and then you're like how did I know that? Its like you just know it.

I have known this to happen, has happened before and its happening again. I tend to ignore it as an internal weather broadcast system.

But some times I wonder, is it something I should take seriously. Maybe its the universe trying to tell me something. Telling me to get in touch with myself. With whats really behind all the blabber, chatter, tantrums, mood swings and all that. With the me inside.

Inner Sync.

M.

(by the way, there were 0 spelling mistakes in this spell check, so yay!!!)

Bahrain - Memories

A long long time ago, I used to hang around on an island called Bahrain. My point in making it look so small is because it is so small, the main island being just 55km long by 18km wide, and the rest being all teeny weeny islands. Mangalore is bigger than the country, but then that's not the point.

Apart from being born here, and terrorizing the cheese samosas at school, I had a deep bond with the place. Probably because leaving was not a choice that I had, it was kind of fooled into it. Some fondest memories of my life still stay in Bahrain, though am not sure I'd recognize the place if and when I go back. Place has changed, the life has changed and more importantly the people have changed.

I guess when it comes to Bahrain, am still the 12 year old. Because in my mind, the place hasn't grown up.

Schooling was fun, while I remember some names from my first school, "The Asian School" which for some strange reason was full of "Indians", and the "Indian School" which had a lot of Arabs, I must thank FB for getting in touch with most of them.

Some things I'd never forget :

1. Water Garden - Feeding Swans popcorn which they hardly ate
2. Tubli - the place had a nice ring to it!!!
3. Riffa - and the favorite shop we'd go there always before it burned down and got rebuilt. I still remember the layout of the store. Additionally this was where our first home was.
4. Marhabba Market - The first supermarket I went to!!!
5. Video Games!!! - Street fighter cards and Mortal Combat
6. Family Get togethers in Zallaq beach
7. DEcember 16th, National Day and the Fireworks.
8. Isa Town - Home Sweet Home.
9. The cab driver with a cut tongue who'd pick us and drop us home from The Indian School
10. Struggling to throw the basket ball at the hoop, only to end up playing for the district of Udupi (\m/)
11. Signing my exam papers myself, even though I got a 10/10. And then getting whooped for it :P
12. This hilarious character called Jay Gandhi. Haven't Found him yet
13. "A Fox was trotting on one day, and just above its head...." English poem in the 6th Grade
14. Collecting Vimto stickers to get that confounded robot pencil box!!!
15. "Lagori" with a tennis ball
16. Soccer with crushed Beer/Cola Cans

AND

17. Kannada Sangha Bahrain!!!
- the teeny library which was like a punishment room
- the Kannada classes which ensured I could beg for marks in Kannada in School in India
- Soccer on the terrace!!!
- Carrying random kids around and spending on "Chakuli" ( most of these kids are grown up so names shall be shared, but I bet you know who we are talking about)
- Darts tournaments!!!

- Get togethers and "Karnatakothsava"

- And soooo many more

I guess I must be one of the few that never returned to Bahrain for a longer duration, with a return only for a quick vacation. And that was that.

I still miss Bahrain. And the national anthem still rings in my head......

M

Mad Bucket List

The Title is Mad Bucket list for the simple reason that I didn't want to name it "The" bucket list cos its not ready yet. However while am working on it, my ego likes to think that I do Mad crazy things which are cool, but in reality isn't true so bear with me.

As 2011 kicked in day before, we were discussing our bucket list at 5 am in the morning. Trying to make head or tail of things we wanted to do, we decided to have "levels" of bucket listing, in order to start with mug lists, shower lists and then finally move on to the bucket.

I thought it would be interesting to share some of our thoughts, so here they are

 - One thing D and I agreed on was to watch a movie without paying for it. But once we got into the details, we realized that the Multiplex owners probably have brains and hence devise simple "Safety" procedures (like moving out the front door) when in reality its to ensure you get OUT once the movies over.

- Dance on a table in a popular restaurant. Then we realized with our weights we'd probably break the table, hence we changed it to break a table in a popular restaurant by dancing on it.

- Learn a Musical instrument and play on a stage.

- Give free hugs on MG Road. ( I still think we should charge, but D had a valid point that its not safe for straight guys anymore)

- Drive a car that costs more than 50 lakhs. ( I thought we should take an Audi test drive, and then D came up with the idea that we buy nice suits to get the test drive, and then we decided to beg some rich industrialists driver to get a ride)

- Get a girlfriend (one for each of course)  \m/

- Attend as many rock shows in this year as possible, and keep the spirit of rock alive in our hearts \m/


- Go Fishing and keep fishing till you catch a fish.

And that's as far as we could go, before we realized that anything with high cash investments and international visits were probably not getting into this list, and then the purpose of this list was getting lost, and hence we just decided to take these into "discussion" and think about it!!!

Nonetheless, am looking forward to this "discussion" pretty soon!!!

Cheers
M \m/

Intercity VOLVO chase. 2 Lives

When you have a car, 4 sleeping passengers and one freaking crazy nut who's bored to death as a driver, what you don't want to do is end up waking to a funeral. My Friend D, thinks otherwise.

We were Supposedly, on our way the Maddur coffee day cafe, and around 40km down Mysore road, we awoke after one of the CCD passed by and D was staring at the two tail lamps of a Volvo bus in front. Luckily, the driver was a softie and let us pass, and 2 minutes later we managed to wrestle the steering wheel out of D's hands. Needless to say we drove back home later in the morning (Did I mention this happened at 3am on the 1st of Jan,2011?) safely and sleepy!!!

My sincerest thanks to the kind KSRTC Bus driver who realized that a mad driver in a 1086 cc Santro trying to overtake a 6 cylinder, 7 litre VOVLO 9400 inter city bus.( Ok, I googled the cc of the bus and dint get it, so jus think BIG)

***

At 3:00 AM on January 2nd, atop the terrace of a Government Bank Employees Residential Quarters, me and a friend came up with the theory of 2 lives.

A lady has 2 lives. Pre Marriage and Post Marriage. Once a Lady gets married, she's steps into her second life, where like an Egyptian mummy, a select few articles get carried over to the next life. (*conditions apply) The things that get carried over are usually - parents, siblings, relatives, barbie doll, pets and necessities (GOLD, jewellery,shoes,handbag and expensive clothing) and occasionally vehicles too. Friends get carried over for a short time, but rarely does it go very long. Kill me if I am wrong.

A Guy has one life with a years break in between, during which period he gets married, wanders off, and then is back to the same life.

The sooner you realize these theories, the better!!!

M \m/

*this does not apply to the exceptional ones, a few of those that I know too. It also does not apply to those who have got offended!!!

A good start to 2011

I have had miserable new years. Fights, sitting at home, and sleeping early. Bottom line, did everything apart from partying.

This year, it looked absolutely the same before a good friend came in to pester me into what turned out to be a great new year's ever, my first one out, and a first for many things. To her, I say THANK YOU. It means a lot to me. ( Am not sure I mentioned it, but I think there was too much Tequila around for any of us to be taken seriously!!!)

This year has been better than the last 2, made new friends, old friends getting hitched, got a new job which doesn't have me stressed at home, made better friends, and got in and out (well kind of) of a huge romantic endeavour.

Of course there have been downs, 2 heartaches, back to back. A sense of sailing a lone ship as people around move into the next chapter of their lives. A bad back, Job changes, worries back home, and all that. What hurt most I guess was the romantic thing. This was a sure shot but I guess cupid got the wrong heart this time around.

Anyways, am very Happy. Because, I've realized, that life is not about friends,colleagues,neighbours etc. ITS ABOUT PEOPLE. ALL PEOPLE. And I love and am grateful to all the people in my life, who work with me, who drop me home, who drink with me, who consider me a good friend, who hate me, etc.

Even those that don't see me in the same light that I see them.

You make me who I am, and make life worth living.

THANK YOU!!!! CHEERS!!!

M

How do they do it ?!!

After a long time, I had the pleasure of reading through the gadzillion blogs that I have subscribed to, without reading a single post. Why you ask?, well maybe the header was interesting, or I found a funny line in it, or the overall theme seemed to fit my mood at the minute.

I have read some of the posts over some time, which decided if I kept following or dumped it.

Eventually I never dumped any of the blogs, fearing some kind of retribution from the blogosphere. Till today that is.

Anyways,  I was just going through these blogs, and they were like amazing. The kind of content was crazy, there blogs that had post made out of anything and everything. One female was ranting on and on about her underwear, while one guy made up a post just by using Fuck a million times. And it was truly hilarious!!!

Jeez, How do they do it?!!

M

Riddles

Its full of riddles. Its right in front of you and you don't know, then again your right there yet no one knows. Its so  easy to get lost in the whole damn thing, and the end of the day your just one of the variables. It gets pathetic and   miserable, until and unless you solve your riddle, or you become someone's solution to their riddle. Either way, the solution has to come. Either naturally, or by force fit.

Its all good in the end. At least I hope so, this negative scoring has disturbing after effects that just don't go away.

M.

3 Barbers and December

I find that the most comforting thing to do when I am utterly frustrated is to go and have a head massage. Its Ironical though, that once the universe has kicked the life outta me, I look forward to a pair of greased hands do the same physically to my head.

It is during one of these tormenting/pleasure sessions, that I found that there are 3 types of head massages you can get, irrespective of the oil, the person or the situation your in.

Sheela and some other Jawani's

Yes I got sucked into the hala-gula about Sheela and her jawani. Undoubtedly, many more will venture into more expensive territory (PVR, FAME..) to find out and watch more of her Jawani Unfold. What was an item song, has now become the "item song of the year" or at least claims to be, and while Katrina's jawani will fade away in some time, in the recent past we've had these crazy crazy item numbers thats driven many a young jawani to the brinks of loosing their....ummm..errr....never mind.

What drives these songs to turn normal college kids, young adults, old people, etc etc to go crazy when the tunes of these hip gyrating, water drenched, bull riding, tattoo-getting, choli displaying etc etc videos?

In search of answers to these awfully simple looking questions, we have put together a composition of what we think has been the best of the last few years. And we have tried to keep the jawani gender neutral. Period.

In the order of our favorites!!!

10. Khallas - Company (2002) - Isha Koppikar



9. Aisa Jadoo : Khakee (2004)-Lara Dutta



8. Lazy Lamhe - Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic (2008)-Amisha Patel



7. Dhoom Machale - Dhoom (2004)-Tata Young



6. Chamma Chamma - China Gate (1998)- Urmila Matondkar



5. Beedi Jalile - Omkara (2006)-Bipasha Basu



4.Kajra Re - Bunty Aur Babli (2005)-Aishwarya Rai Bachchan



3. Babuji Zara Dheere Chalo - Dum (2003) - Yana Gupta



2. Chaiya chaiya - Dil Se (1998)-Malaika Arora Khan



1. Munni Badnam - Dabangg (2010) Malaika Arora Khan!!!



Without any Doubt, Malaika is the queen of item songs!!!

Meanwhile there are many more honourable mentions, but were not included as they weren't "technically" item songs, or were a bit too old. We mention them below:

1. Tu Cheez Badi hai Mast - Mohra (1994) Raveena Tandon
2. Tip Tip Barsa pani - Mohra (1994) Raveena Tandon
3. Koi Jaaye to le aaye - Ghatak (1996) Mamta Kulkarni
4. Choli Ke Peeche - Khalnayak (1993) Madhuri Dixit Nene
5. Helen's Item numbers
6. Videos from Kaante(2), Musafir(2), Kaal(1),Dostana(1), Garam Masala(2)

And Before we go, lets check out Sheela once and for all!!!




CheErs!!!
MaDdy

Dreamlogs - Dumbledore in a business suit

Have been getting these weird dreams for some time now. I find it amusing that they are all so strange and wonder if they are related in some deep, meaningless sort of way. Anyway all the better for me, as I get more topics to blog on. So provided with enough material, these are gonna be short dreamlogs on the things that make me smile when am asleep :P

Dumbledore in a business suit 

I wake up in a room opposite THE Dumbledore in a business suit. Not only does he have his standard beard attachment, but also seems to have a bird that looks likes it decends from the phoenix and Jack's parrot (from Pirates of the Carribean). The room is in hogwarts I presume, because am more interested in what Dumbledore is gonna ask.

After what seems like ages, he asks me " What do you think the future is going to be in 3 years time?"

And just before I snap out of it, I manage to mumble " Well, for starters, Voldermot is back"

And then am awake, staring at the a vague blurry picture of a ghost at the door, which later turns out to be clothes dangling from the top of the door.

(Did I mention that I was dancing with a certain someone in the paddy fields outside the interview room??)

Cheers

MaDdY!!!

Its Official - Sonam Kapoor!!!

Am coming out clean on this one. I have this huge huge huge gianticomundostrous crush on Sonam Kapoor. Sigh. I had this snap taken with her when she was introduced to us as the new brand ambassador for Loreal at a conference in Mumbai, but didn't know who took the snap!!! Smitten. Totally. Sigh.

Did I ever tell you that I was a Anil Kapoor fan??!!

MaDdy

Chennai, Change and Curses.

My second time down to Chennai was a 3 day trip which turned out to be more pleasant than the last.

Occasionally my company sends me off to random parts of the country to check the weather and to talk to people. (Yes, I get paid for talking to people, and No, talking to me doesn't mean your getting a share of it) 

Conversations with Mad, Maddy and Madan

Before we get into details, let me inform you that I have MMD. Mulitple Madan Disorder. Over a Period of time I have decided that MMD will be the cause that I shall blame for any failure to comply with rules, acting stupid, not paying the credit card bills and winking at random women in CCD.

I had decided

On Dec 31st 2009, I had decided not to live the way I used to. It was a tough decision, after all, I was making some brave decisions, changing Jobs, changing places and all that. I wanted to move out of my comfort zone and live a new me. (If your bothered by the lot of "I"s, there's gonna be a lot more, this is your chance if you wanna make a run for it)

Taking action on the new years day, I made a list of things that am gonna do, no matter what. So I went off and bought a Guitar. A few days of You Tube learning later, the brand new Guitar is now staring at me accusingly, probably playing a high F note sounding something like "LOOSER".

Then I went on to buy some fancy French learning App on my I phone, only to wonder what it was 6 months later.

I also decided to get a 6 pack by the end of 2010 (Aim ridiculously high) and joined the Gym. 4 months of gym-ing later, and 5 kilos lighter (which am sure had to do with the light weight shoes) am still cursing my family pack that reaches any place a second earlier than the actual me.

I decided I would never compromise. With my principles. With myself. But the whole year, I seem to have been doing just the opposite and at every single step. Compromising, Compromising, Compromising.

I would not crib (yes, am good at it), just going from one peak to the other. This post is the complete opposite of that.

I would give a honest try at my novel. Its still lying incomplete.

And the most important, I would never hesitate to tell a girl that I like her. No matter what. To my credit, I still might, but I hadn't added all the variables in that decision. Sigh...(That's the toughest one)

And the most interesting part was that I turned 25 this year. That practically puts you on top of the Yes You can - But You may not - But this is important - Who bloody cares - But not that much - roller coaster. So your yes and no, you want to but think you shouldn't and so on. Sigh.

Had to ramble all this... Excuse Moi while I head for the malted barley in ze freezer to Feel bettere.

Cheers!!!
MaDdy :(

Trip to Murudeshwar

Location : Murudeshwar, Karnataka

From : Udupi, Karnataka

Total distance : Around 102 km, and is easily reached by driving (aprox 3 hours ) and Train (approx 2 hours)

Route : Mangalore - Udupi - Kundapur - Bhatkal - Murdeshwar

Click to enlarge

Murudeshwar is an amazing getaway for a weekend, and can be visited either over a day or over two days, staying overnight at any of the affordable accomodation facilites avaiable in the area. The star attraction of the Temple, is the magnificent Statue of Lord Shiva (2nd largest in the world) and The huge gopura (249 feet, largest in the world). The seated Shiva is surrounded by the waters of the Arabian Sea on three sides, and is visible from most of the village.

We left from Udupi to catch the 8.20 Rajdhani which goes to Goa, but the train got delayed by around 2 hours (sigh!!!) which meant we lost the chance to see the beautiful early sun. However once on the train, we had good company [or more like beautiful company :) ] and we reached at 11.30am . After a short walk, we reached the entrance to Murudeshwar, and a 20 rupee ride took us 5 km to the beach shore, and to the RNS resort where we stayed.

The beach is good, but not really great. But the best part of the whole trip is the ride up the elevator (20 stories) on the raj gopura (Rs 20). The view from the top floor is amazing, and you can see all around the village. Apart from that , the hillock on which the Statue is situated is also a fantastic view point, and also good to enjoy the breeze from the sea.

We stayed overnight, and caught some fantastic sights of Lord Shiva under the lights. After roaming around the village and the beach, we were back for some well deserved sleep.

We got back to Udupi, by catching a giovernment bus (very convenient) instead of the railways, and go to have a look at the beautiful Marvanthe Beach as well.

For the easily bored, there are the regular water sports (rating 2.5/ 5) and the wine shops :P , but overall a good getaway for the weekend. Max cost for 2 people Rs 3000 ( with food, accomodation, etc, etc)

I leave you with some pictures to enjoy :)

Cheers!!!
MaDdy :)

Trip to Jog Falls

The Game of Love

Must we play these games, my love?
Where winning is more important than each other,
The cause for us is lost
Right here itself,
What fun will these games deliver?

Yes, its true, we're not the same
And surely you will find many that are
But then they're them, and I am me,
And I am the one that's different by far

Am not stupid, and neither are you
Then why the intent to show it so?
This should be a game, for us and them
And not between me and you

All I hear, is what your not saying
And its not a pleasant tune
Patience is a virtue, and I know
that it too will run out soon

So Don't throw the dice, Don't look at the score,
Life has a lot to offer.
Perhaps Today, Perhaps tomorrow,
But for sure, this game will make us suffer

The time's are a little, to play such games,
I hope its now, not never.
Lets make up, and build our world
Today, Tomorrow and Forever.


If at this, you still want to play this game
Then am no willing player
I'll take mine, and you take yours
And we'll walk on our roads in the sunset, I hope one last time together.

MaDdy :)

Trek to Savandurga and Abhishek

The Day started with a call to Easy Boy at 5.30 am. It went something like this

In Love

In love with your eyes

The way they swim in that smile

In Love with your hair

When they play hide and seek 

In Love with your walk

For no reason at all

In Love with your anger

It makes you look real

In Love when your not around

Cos your on my mind

In Love when your silent

The more to look forward to

In Love when your nonsensical

It reminds me of Life

In Love with everything, 

In Love with you, cos I realized

This nut needed a bolt, and yes, thats you

Cheers :)

MaDdY

Red Alert - W.O.R.K Virus

You know what am talking about. Oh Yeah. I see those heads bobbing up and down.

Well fear not. Yours truly is about to reveal the master code on bracing yourself for those monthly attacks of the deadly, the dangerous, the despicable, the (running out of "d" words) ....

Willing Oppression & Recreation Killer.

The Dog, The Spider and Beauty

From the Past 4 days, this dog has me in a fix. We have no idea where he comes from, where he disappears to, and apparently am the only one apart from my ground floor neighbors who have seen him. His face looks just like Jimmy's. The First day he was outside the gate, and he didn't wake up from his classic "chin on the floor" slump look (classic Labradorean style). He didn't budge an inch when my bike was almost over him. Strange. And no response to the regular whistle, coochie coos and all that.

My Experiments with Chicken

Am a great cook. Especially when the menu is a seven course meal. I prepare a signature seven course meal, and they comprise of the following

1. Home decorated Lays for the appetizer

2. Maggi Soup

3. Cucumber Salad

4. Maggi sorbet (whatever that is)

5. Maggi with Onions

6. Maggi with tomatoes

7. Home Decorated Baskin Robins ice cream

However I recently discovered that this meal did not live up to expectations of others (that's everyone else but me) and what with all this Master chef this, and master chef that, I had to prove that there were other things that I could cook. 

My Mum and Dad are Awesome cooks. I mean really really awesome. Friends who have come home swear by it, and apparently I don't seem to have picked up anything from my genes.

But I was out to prove them wrong. And here, I present, My experiments with Chicken. 

***

Chicken Kum-gas-pe  

This should be also called the Chicken Tandoori, but my narration will tell you why the name was adapted to the story. I'll cut the background story and skip right to the interesting part. After goading over the careful marination of the chicken, I had it all ready to be cooked on the slow fire, exactly how the instructions read on the pack. 

I beautifully placed the well cut pieces of tender spiced chicken in straight lines on the pan, that was gently greased with butter. I ensured that it was perfect fit, and pulled out the phone for some snaps. I savored the moment.

Then I pulled out the match, and struck it with that hint of aggression that resulted in a peppy spark. As I turned the gas knob, ever so gingerly, to ensure that perfect flame for that perfect frying, I heard the click, and waited for the hiss of gas, bursting out of its enslaved cylinder to burn bright blue.

Click. No hiss

Click. No hiss

Clickety Clickety Click. Nothing.Zilch

I was feeling nauseated. I fumbled around the kitchen for the instructions. There was supposed to be a damn flame under the damn pan after the click. In my mind, chickens were ganging up, laughing, taunting.

Where the hell are the instructions to check the cooking gas!!!  I should have picked up the phone and called my lawyer to sue Everest Masalas. But then it was a Sunday and my lawyer would have probably on leave. 

And then, the roof parted, the blue sky opened, it was when Fate spoke to me.

FATE : "Madan!!!, Its time for you to show those delicious scrumptious pieces of chicken, who's the boss. If you have to pull out all those management text books in your shelves to make a bonfire and cook that chicken, you will. If it takes robbing a few bricks to make a barbecue, you will. Hell, if it takes you to stare at that damn pan and heat it with telepathy, YOU WILL DO IT. This is your calling, this is your DESTINY"

And then I had my Transformers moment

Me : And I am Madanus Prime,leader of the Bachelor-o-bots and I send this message to all you chickens. "Your Fried meat!!!"

Me and my trusted roomy made frantic calls to all the gas agency's in the country. It was a Sunday. And no one was answering. We then tried sweet talking a the cooking gas guy near our house in to lending us a mini gas cylinder. But he dint have one. It was then that we decided, that if there ever was someone who would work on a Sunday, and get us what we wanted, it was the country's most enterprising citizen, the Marwari Business man. 

And we knew that in any market street in the country, there would be a marwari sales man, a marwari cosmetic/bangle shop and a marwari utensil dealer. 

And we did find the Marwari Dealer. Selling utensils. And the stuff that we needed. Needless to say, we got we were looking for.

Later in the evening, over a delicious plate of fried Chicken Tandoor, a thought crossed my mind. This was no ordinary chicken, this was a masterpiece, cooked over a stove that had no gas supply.

And thats when Chicken Kum-gas-pe (Hindi Translation - On less Gass) was born. My First non Maggi dish. sniff. sniff.

I shall leave with proof :) --->

Coming Soon, Chicken Binacooka

MaDdY :)

Soul Searching

No, its not a movie title starring saucer shaped spaceships stealing souls in an effort to wipe out the human race. Come to think of it though, it is a possible movie title, and vague enough to get you into a multiplex.

Pondi, Chennai and Coimbatore

Lond due travelogue update. In the month of June, had gone on an official tour of South India. So Apart from loosing most of my hair, and going from wheaty to "This shade does not exsist" on the Garnier Fairness Scale, I had a fun time picking up some interesting observations.

Shocking News : Humpty Dumpty falls. City under alert.

29th September.

Bangalore. Last night in a shocking development, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. While he has been admitted to the Incy Wincy Spider Memorial hospital , doctors are unsure about putting him back together again. Dr. Fevikwik has said that Humpty is now shaky and unstable, and has sent word for his dear Kings men and his horses.

Sharing Common Wealth (Games), Politics and News Channels

Fancy how everyone has an expert opinion on the CW Games to be held in India. Hell, even toddlers seem to be going "ga ga" over it. The last time I saw the country get together on such a scale was when Slumdog Millionaire won the Oscar, and everyone called it an "Indian Movie"..

Apparently, some top athletes and sporting nations are pulling out of the games citing poor "living" conditions. Perhaps I'd do the same if I were on a vacation, but hey! am not an athlete am I?

Ant Tales - Ants don't fall in Love

Little Ant climbing up the wall
I wonder why you're so small
You keep crawling inch by inch
Don't you ever fear a fall?

By Day and night, dusk and dawn
You keep climbing, crawling, walking on
What is it that keeps you going,
Do share with us, oh little one.

Is it really food that you search for all day?
Or is there a mystery behind all the play,
That you always walk in a straight line
Nothing seems to deter you from your way.

Don't you ever take a break?
To rest those tiny arms and legs
Toiling away all through the day
To fetch something, that everyone will take

Don't you ever fall in love,
For that's what everyone does
And then they change, for someone else
And everything goes astray, regardless what they say

Now I know, why you're so small
You have no space for love and all
Only when a heart falls, it hurts
And hence, you care not if you fall

Little Ant climbing up the wall
I know now, why you're so small
Continue crawling inch by inch
Why worry of a fall.


MaDdY

Then, There and Now

Am at cross roads of some sort. I can feel it. Some strange sense of uneasiness and irritation has come over me, unlike the happy go lucky regular food stuffing person that I am.

I get angry very quickly these days (not regular quickly, madan-quickly standard) which is still slow by normal averages, Very restless in the afternoons, sleepy at nights, don't feel like gorging on chicken or non vegetarian food, Opinions have begun to bother me, Have been reading books after a loooong time, not coming home to my beloved game console, meeting people out of sheer boredom (sounds like loneliness to me) blogging more regularly, Jealousy, vying for attention, riding my bike a tad too fast, hmmmm...

The last time I hit a cross road, it took me 2 years to recover. Bet she hardly noticed.

---

Strange are the ways of men and women. When they like someone, they act more weird in person. They try to be someone else in order to impress, and in the process end up being someone else, and then one day "boom" they get together and its like "Hey you weren't like this before we got married"

Duh!!!

Strangely, the one whom I never met, knew me more than the ones I had met. Pity she didn't want to meet that day.

---

So is friendship the key ? Whats the chances on that road? Stand by and watch doesn't really seem easy, But then what is? And when do you know when this ends and that starts? If its meant to be, will it?

There are no coincidences in life, they say.

But there's a lot of hope.

----

Cheers
MaDdy

Marriage, Love and Spirituality

Marriages are made in heaven. South Indian Marriages are made in rooms between families of the bride and groom, except the bride and groom. Konkani marriages are made in other peoples marriages.

If you attend a GSB/Konkani/Amchigele marriage, you'd be surprised to see the bonding of the women there, all gushing and chattering incessantly. But the truth is, under those multi layers of Kanjeevaram silk and heavy gold jewellery, Detailed battle plans are being laid to bind two unsuspecting individuals through the "arranged" marriage strategy.Of course the only thing probably common to the unsuspecting individuals, would be that they apparently are of "marriageable" age.

The Rose Girl

I wrapped up myself in my arms just so that I was comfortable in not making her uncomfortable. While the bus moved on out of Bangalore, she spoke to different people on the phone. Her voice was very soft, at the same time had the tone of a self confident girl, someone who could be quick to retort at the shortest signs of being rebuked or taken for granted. Reminded me of someone who was had just discovered independence, or had some sort of responsibility on her shoulders, a mini rebel, but a sweet one at that.

A skinny Thief

Gabbar Singh has been our most loved villain. His "Arrre Oh Samba!!!" and the rider to the dialogue "Kitne Admi the..."is probably the most easily remembered Bollywood dialogues. I have my own theory, that his love for Sambhar and the thought that he would have to share it with other "Admi's" prompted this question, but lets keep that aside for now.

His popularity was probably followed by the legendary Ambrish Puri(Mogambo!!!), and the remaining minions in the roles of serial murderers, kidnappers and smugglers with a million thugs on their team firing away machine guns that couldn't hurt a mouse, even if it were the size of the incredible Hulk and tied to a wall post.

TSB 8 Of "Kylo" and "The Hindu newspaper"

Previous Post in the series TSB 7 Booth Tales

Soon after the Booth closed down, It was back to the same old routine. Its interesting to see that help comes from people you least expect, and you meet so many interesting characters when we bother to open our eyes and see things apart from whats obvious.You realize that we've missed out on a large part of life because of our infatuation with "our" world. Which is like looking into a mirror all the time, and forgetting the part thats not visible in the mirror.

TSB 7 Booth Tales

Previous post in the series TSB 6 Of the Road

The Telephone booth Job was basically a distraction from turmoil. I got the job through a friend who worked as a Bus conductor in the bus that I used to take up and down from when I visited home. A year ago, I would not have dreamed of something on these lines. But life has a way of teaching you lessons in different ways.

TSB 6 Of the Road

Previous post in the series TSB 5 Days Going On

While my work started at around 5.30 or 6.0 pm, I ensured that I didn't lounge around in the campus. At the slightest indication of the end of day, I  headed right to my temple of solace, which in this case was an actual temple.

Walking down that particular road was always painful. But it didn't matter anymore, as to me, I didn't matter anymore.