ये कैसी मुश्किल आई है

ये कैसी मुश्किल  आई है
चैन से रो भी नहीं सकता
कैसे नींद आयेगी मुझे
यादें तुम्हारे रोक नहीं पाता

दील टूटा नहीं
संभल के रखा है
यह मेरी लिए नहीं
तेरे लिए धडकता है

ये कैसी मुश्किल आई है
ग़म मनाने का वक़्त नहीं
मेरी उदासी कहीं तुझे न लग जाये
इस ख्याल में हस्ता रेहता हूँ

माफ़ कर दे, गलती हम से हो गयी
क्या करें, पता ही नहीं चला
और जब पता चल गया
थो दिल चुप न रेह सखा

ये कैसी मुश्किल आई है
तेरी आहट से दिन बनती है
और तेरी परछाई से श्याम
जब थू ही नहीं, थो क्या दिन, और क्या श्याम

जानता हूँ की दिन दूर नहीं
की मेरी नज़र से नफरत हो जाएगी तुम्हे
एक नज़र से शुरू
और उसी से कथम

ये कैसी मुश्किल आई है
बीच बातों में तेरा नाम लेता हूँ
जी थो लूँगा तुम्हरे बिना
पर तेरे रुह से बंधा हूँ

ये कैसी मुश्किल आई है



(I had penned this down in 2014. It remained in my drafts for a long time, and make no mistake, I am no poet nor is my Hindi any good. But then again, it held meaning. I was rummaging through the drafts, and I thought - Why not? Grammar & Spelling corrections welcome :)

Break Free

Have you ever felt
A weight so heavy
that you can't lift your head
your hands want to bury deep
into your pockets,
At your sides
worried

Have you ever felt
the hooks of the past
buried so deep in your back
the more you pull forward
it claws you, hurts
and you just want to give in
tired

Have you ever felt
the urge to throw everything
to break, destroy anything
after being broken yourself
for so long
restless

Have you ever felt
to just scream your lungs out
to listen, to do,
what your heart cries for
without a care?
wanting

Have you ever felt
chasing after a dream
a need, a desire
but left disappointed
unable to understand
helpless

Then its time,

It's time you felt
the sun shine a warmth
through the eyes
who see you admirably,
for who you are
Believe

It's time you felt
those arms reaching out to you
Calling, embracing
drawing you close
Holding you tight
Trust

It's time you felt
those smiles and cheers
smother all your fears
picking up those pieces
to keep you together
Strong

It's time you felt
the little song in your heart
tunes and beats
that only you can hear
when you see
who's with you
Together

It's time you felt
that you are not alone
let go of what was
to let in what can be
Love is beautiful
possible

Break Free.


M

Quiet.

Its quiet.
Its been so for many days
I now have 25 minutes
to put silence
into phrase
how much has changed
I can't really say
and another day will pass
as I struggle to tell you
what I did yesterday
like a boat at anchor
with nowhere to go
waiting for a mission
a captain, a wave, a voice
a simple hello
I have now 20 minutes
to write
of years of patience
and silent nights
of waiting for the sun to set
and then to rise
to just go on
now i wonder at it all
why
the sense of feeling
is gone
slipping into blank things
that aren't really there
my sight is failing
my hope is waning
I've 15 minutes more
i've already wandered
twice
such is my belief now
weary are my fingers
my heart and eyes
flitter
the warmth is replaced
an acknowledgement perhaps
of inevitability
like a law of sorts
that it just won't work
oh how slow this clock tick tocks
I still have 5 minutes
Sigh
so easy it was to bare
Oh so much had I to share
now in walls and shells
of simple luxury, cursed with
a  heart's empty hell
it is done
and as the clock strikes
it is again,
quiet.